(Warning - spoilers)
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mrsmarkdave — 12 years ago(July 05, 2013 07:45 PM)
I also regret some of the ways I behaved. I was just trying to make someone else feel bad so that I would feel better about my pathetic self. Shameful. I didn't do this often, but there was a boy in elementary school and a girl that I knew all of my life. I found them both on FB a few years back and sent them messages telling them I was so sorry for my horrendous behavior and that I hope they could forgive me. They were, thankfully, both very gracious.
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mickeymyhorse — 12 years ago(September 22, 2013 12:29 PM)
That took alot of heart & guts to do what u did. Kudos to u. I remember my teenage yrs. Lol is there anything crueler than a teenage female? Not all teenage girls r like that, but unfortunatley it seems more times than not.
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SataiDelen — 11 years ago(June 06, 2014 12:28 AM)
I'm not trying to attack you, I'm just trying to point out that either you were never bullied as a child, or you're still very young and things have changed in school and bullying doesn't occur any longer (though I have a hard time believing that).
I was bullied constantly as a child and it didn't stop until I entered high school, and the bullies finally started to grow up and realize that they were in a similar situation to me as they weren't the big kids on campus anymore.
At any rate, I completely understood Dot's behavior. She was angry at the way she'd been treated in school, and while Birdie may not have been the main antagonist in Dot's life (I got the feeling that the gossipy woman Birdie met up with at the festival/dance was the real "mean girl" of the group that Birdie hung out with in school), I get the feeling that she didn't stop what was going on, and may have even made a few jokes/comments herself. As such, this was Dot's chance at revenge, and she took it. And Birdie proved Dot's point that people grow and change and mature as they get older, and that is why Dot finally saw in Birdie, a changed person and ultimately decided to stop the revenge plot and help Birdie get a job. She could see that Birdie was no longer the popular, "mean girl" of the high school clique. Also, seeing as it's a small town and the other "mean girls" likely never got out of the town, they probably never really grew up, and it's possible that they still tried to make Dot's life difficult. Birdie was the one who got out. So when she came back, yes, it was perhaps Dot's only chance to give Birdie what for.
And you're right, it's not right to do what Dot did, but it is understandable. -
adultsurvivorofpeerabuse — 9 years ago(September 23, 2016 02:32 PM)
As an adult who survived childhood peer abuse and who works with adults who survived it Dots feelings and reactions were very normal. Berdie herself may not have been the main mean girl. However, she probably did not step out of her perfect little bubble and do the right thing either. She did not even remember "Polka Dot" at first. Dot had to remind her of who she was. I do not blame Dot one bit for how she treated Bertie. The situation was reversed. Dot was now the successful one while Bertie was the one groveling so to speak. In high school Bertie was in her element. In adulthood and in her office, Dot was in her element. That receptionist in her office sucking up to Bernie like she did sickened me. In school she probably was the one who catered to the mean girls to keep from being in Dots shoes.
Bertie herself was not mean. I never had her as mean. It's just that finally life kicked her in the butt when her BFF and buffoon of a husband got on national TV and humiliated her. It appears that Bertie and the buffoon were Mr. and Mrs High school. She came home and expected everyone to suck up to her like they did before. Did not go down as she thought. Then her daughter was peer abused. People like Dot were kicked in the butt early in life. Bertie was a follower. I am guessing her BFF was the queen bee in school.
This is a lesson that many need to learn. Be careful how you treat people. One day the situation may be different and it will come back to you. Some call it karma. I call it God's way of remaining anonymous. In the end Dot did the right thing. She gave Bertie a job. However, she got the opportunity to put Bertie in her place. I am glad she did. -
allisonjoys — 9 years ago(September 23, 2016 04:57 PM)
There's two ways people like Dot gothe way she wentor the youthful lessons of hurt can make a person feel empathy to even those who might not deserve it.
I think of a boy who embarrassed me in front of a group in high school. He's successful now. If our paths crossed I wouldn't give him a second glance. But if his life tanked I would probably take comfort in the karma and be kind to him. -
lynnrnsd — 9 years ago(October 05, 2016 08:10 PM)
It's hard to know what you would do. It's amazing how those wounds can stick with you, even after you think they wouldn't. We moved from Virginia to California when I was in the sixty grade, and this girl was convinced I stole her best friend. Like she couldn't be friends with both of us. She was really hateful to me, and left cruel notes in my locker. I honestly don't know what I would do if she came to me looking for a job. I'd like to think I would be kind to her. In some ways, being kind would be a way of showing her I am the bigger person. But I can see where Dot was coming from.