So I'm editing, remastering and re-scoring Episode One (feedback wanted)
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Archived from the IMDb Discussion Forums — Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace
calamb — 10 years ago(January 01, 2016 06:06 PM)
I posted this over on TFA board, but it is probably more useful here:
As I'm sure many of you will agreeeven if you liked the prequels (Episode I in particular), there is much room for improvement. I've seen a few fan-edits out there, and while there are several individually brilliant improvements, I haven't yet come across an edit that really elevates the prequels into what I would consider worthy additions to Star Wars canon (totally my opinion, by the way). The closest would probably be "The Blackened Mantle", but it doesn't really capture the same stylistic filmmaking continuity of the others (for example, the whole thing is in Japanese, and it doesn't have an opening crawl).
So, I've taken it upon myself to redo the whole thing to my liking, beginning with Episode I, which is now tentatively titled "Episode I: Shroud of the Sith" (was "Dawn of the Sith", but I kinda like "Shroud" a bit better, and it fits well with the story).
Anyway, I'm telling you all of this to get your feedback. Suggestions of additions and cuts would be much appreciated.
Here is the current list of changes I'm implementing:- Cutting all of Jar-Jars ridiculousness. All poop/fart jokes are gone. His force-jump into the water in the first act is edited to be a simple dive. Most of his clumsiness is gone or changed in a way to progress the narrative. And anything left over of him has been re-dubbed with an alien voice and given subtitles to make him a much better character (he's more of a cocky scrapper now, to the extent I could do it).
- Viceroy Gunray and others of his race have been re-dubbed with deep sinister alien voices, instead of those godawful French accents. They've also been subtitled with different motives. They are still pawns of Sidious, but they have more spine now.
- Padme/Amidala has been pitch-altered to sound like a younger girl. I've always disliked how her character was handled, especially next to Anakin as a love interest. The new pitch is more natural (Portman's voice was actually altered in many Phantom Menace scenes, come to find out), and I've taken it a step further by making her sound younger. Her conversations with Anakin feel much more peer-to-peer than mother-to-child. In many of the Viceroy's subtitles, she is referred to as "The Child Queen" and isn't taken very seriously.
- Midichlorians are gone. Instead, I've re-dubbed Obi-Wan's voice over the communicator in the first midichlorian scene and cut much of the conversation to give the impression that Qui-Gon sent a sample of Anakin's blood to be DNA tested against their database, in hopes of discovering the father. This scene may end up being cut altogether, but I haven't decided yet. EDIT: Yea, I cut it. Easier to just do away with.
- No more immaculate conception of Anakin. When asked about his father, Shmi just looks down, implying that either he wasn't in the picture, or she isn't sure. Then, she changes the subject by asking Qui-Gon if he can help her son. It works soooo much better.
- The pod racing is drastically cut down. No more of Greg Proops' announcing (just the alien announcer on occasion) and no two-headed announcer. Everything is cut down to give a much faster-paced scene with higher tension. And Sebulba dies in a fiery explosion. Most of the cartoonish reactions are gone. And I'm outsourcing for an entirely new score for the scene (all my cuts made the music really jumpy, so I had to rescore it anyway).
- Anakin is no longer the creator of C3PO. Instead, I've redubbed the scene to say "I won him in a bet from a Hutt" and go on to say that he's a protocol droid to help the mother. I didn't want to cut 3PO completely, because I think his addition is still kinda cool (though it makes NO DAMN SENSE for Anakin to build him). Some 3PO scenes have also been trimmed to make him a little lessodd?
- Battle droids just beep now instead of talk, and there are no droid ranks.
- Instead of an entire alien race being immune to Jedi mind tricks, it's just Watto. He now simply says "What, you think you're some kind of Jedi? Mind tricks don't work on me. Only money". I wanted to get him to say "those tricks only work on the fools" or something like that, but it's a bit difficult.
- All the "yippees", "whoahs" and such from Anakin are gone. Because they suck.
- Anakin's "accidental" victory in space with the Naboo fighter feels more intentional. Because why the hell shouldn't it?
- Anakin is no longer "meant" to help Qui-Gon. He helps because he wants to.
- The whole "bigger fish" sequence underwater is gone. It makes no sense that those things would live so close to a city. Or to go through the planet's core, for that matter.
- Darth Maul dies with a bit more dignity, instead of watching patiently as Obi-Wan jumps over him and kills him. It's much quicker, and makes more sense.
- The film ends after the funeral scene. The celebration has been cut altogether. The funeral scene completes the narrative and is structured like an endi
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calamb — 10 years ago(January 02, 2016 12:00 PM)
I've seen the anti-cheese edits. While the idea is good, and I have nothing but respect for the editorI personally had several issues with the edit, which is why I decided to do my own.
For example, there was weird sound mixing with the new alien voices (most had either an odd echo effect, or weren't always clear), as well as padme's pitch correction (which only brought it down to a normal pitch, as opposed to me raising the pitch further into a younger-sounding voice).
What I'm doing is taking the premise of the anti-cheese edit and expanding on it. All of my new voices are professionally mixed and mastered. I'm re-scoring the whole film with "new" music from several other Star Wars mediums (films, games, tv, etc) to add an extra layer of depth to several scenes that wasn't always there. I'm giving everything a reason for happening, and everyone a reason for doing it (instead of asking the audience to just accept things like Anakin building 3PO).
Instead of de-cheesing Jar-Jar, I'm reworking him from the ground up. Instead of attempting to remove him or cut his presence (as many other edits do), I'm trying to make him likable. For one example, I recut the entirety of the pod race sequence. In one scene, a racer is stalled at the starting line, and his engine blows up. I then cut to a scene where Jar-Jar is cheering, while the others look concerned. Jar-Jar eats it up, and is actually funny in a way that isn't poop-related.
My edit was inspired by the anti-cheese edit. But im expanding on that idea a lot. It will almost be a different movie once I'm finished. -
Mylobage — 9 years ago(January 30, 2017 03:58 PM)
Those made the films worse. Removing a "cheesey" scene does not make the film better. Especially, when those scenes are interlinked with the following movies, exposition, or explanations.
Don't like what I'm saying? Then call 1800-Ima-CryBaby and ask for Waaaaaa. -
calamb — 10 years ago(January 02, 2016 12:02 PM)
I haven't set an official release date, but it wil 100% be out this month. Hopefully within the next week or two.
At the request of a few SW fans, I'll be posting a clip on YouTube today with a few scenes of my new edit (first the original version, and then my new cut/edit) just to show everyone what to expect. I'll post a link up here once it's up. -
calamb — 10 years ago(January 11, 2016 12:59 PM)
I thought I posted the link here, but I must have forgotten to. Anyway, this is just a one-scene preview, to give you the idea of what I'm going for, in terms of color-correcting, rescoring and all that.
The scene involves Darth Maul riding off to find the Jedi. I have touched up on the clip a bit since I uploaded it, but you'll get the idea. The video itself goes into a bit more detail about the scene's changes. Hope you like it. -
Volley2020 — 10 years ago(January 04, 2016 09:09 AM)
There's a lot of good points in here OP, but I don't like your changing of John Williams score for Phantom Menace. Each film has its own set pieces in regards to music, and John is the only aspect that worked for this film.
But hey, I'll reserve judgment to see what you can do with inserting the original music in this film. I can't wait to see your edit, get it up to YouTube quick eh? 1080p, the works please. -
calamb — 10 years ago(January 04, 2016 12:52 PM)
It'll be 1080p for sure, no worries.
As for the music, I definitely understand your concern. My reasoning for re-scoring the film is in the interest of making the best possible production. When cutting the film, bits of music are cut along with their respective clips, so it sounds a bit jumpy in places, so I'd have to lay new music over it anyway.
That being said, I don't want you to think I'm completely neglecting Williams' work here. There are some great pieces included in TPM's soundtrack that will be there to stay. Anything I replace will be replaced with another of Williams' pieces either from the original trilogy, or something done for a different Star Wars film or medium. I'm not replacing it with the score for Tron or anything like that.
There are just a few scenes I think are underplayed with the original music piece and could work better with a more emotional bit. That's part of my strategy to distract from some less-than-stellar acting in places, too. If the actor can't draw emotion from the audience, then I want to use music that will.
