Forgiving cheating that does not result in pregnancy?
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Archived from the IMDb Discussion Forums — Maury
easjr1991 — 10 years ago(February 07, 2016 12:13 PM)
This is an issue raised by this show, and I want to explore the real-life ramifications of this.
If a partner cheated on you, would you be willing to completely disregard their guilt and infidelity as long as it turns out they didn't get somebody else pregnant/get pregnant by somebody else?
On Maury several times a person willing to forgive their partner as long as it does not lead to them getting pregnant by someone else/getting someone else pregnant.
According to TV Tropes()
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Series/Maury
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Easily Forgiven:
It seems as if, no matter how many times a person cheated, their guilt and infidelity is tossed out of the window as long as their infidelities didn't result in any questionable paternity, such as a woman getting pregnant by another man, or a man getting another woman pregnant while in a relationship. A woman will hug and kiss their man after DNA tests prove he isn't the father of another woman's baby even though he lied to her about it, and men will hug and kiss women if they are the father of their baby even if the woman did, in fact, cheat on him many times. A particularly egregious example of this was the case of a woman who was being accused by her husband of cheating with another man and the husband believed that the woman's child may belong to that man. A lie detector test proved the woman had sexual contact with that man many times.note It turned out that the man in question was married to someone close to the woman. However, a DNA test proved he was the father of the woman's baby. The woman then made the man kiss her feet, which he did.
I've even seen and heard of other egregious examples of this.
A woman named Jojo cheated on her husband Mike RIGHT AFTER THEY GOT ENGAGED. Jojo went to tell her ex about her engagement, the same day Mike asked her to marry her, and they wound up sleeping together. Years later, she confessed to sleeping with him, and the paternity of her son was in doubt. Mike said that he would forgive her as long as it turned out he was the father. And he was the father.
Another was Telena. She confessed to her sister Tabitha that she slept with Tabitha's husband Brian, and that Brian was the father of her son. The DNA test proved that Brian was not the father. Tabitha and Brian joyfully embraced each other.
I mean, when I think about what I would do, I would not forgive so easily. I feel that even if you cheated, the fact that you cheated does not become irrelevant just because you did not get someone else pregnant/get pregnant by someone else. It's even worse when someone cheats with your own family members or friends. -
holbrookp — 10 years ago(February 08, 2016 08:05 PM)
I agree with what you're saying. A guy is brought on the show because his wife has a secret to reveal but he has no idea what it could be. A show that seems to do nothing but deal with cheating and paternity suits and he still has no clue what's up. So she tells him she's been cheating on him for years with other men or perhaps one long relationship with somebody they know and might be the father of their child or children. He's stunned but it turns out he's the father. So then they throw themselves into one another's arms in joy. I cannot believe a trusted mate in a relationship that has lasted years could reveal such a betrayal and it wouldn't seem to matter that much. And it was revealed on TV in front of all the friends and family back home who saw the whole thing unfold! If they're not actors, there are people out there who are impossible to understand!
"All necessary truth is its own evidence." - Ralph Waldo Emerson -
easjr1991 — 10 years ago(February 22, 2016 06:22 PM)
I do know of some examples where a person was not forgiven even though they were not the father/did not father another woman's baby.
A woman named Tacara cheated on her boyfriend Jayson with his cousin Raymond. Even worse, Raymond was the boyfriend of her sister Brittney. So this was a betrayal on both ends of this affair. Also, Tacara was pregnant, and did not know who the father was. Brittney was willing to forgive Tacra but not Raymond. Jayson was willing to forgive Raymond but not Tacara. Later after the baby was born it turned out that neither were the father. Tacara later tested three more men, including her other sister's boyfriend. They were not the father either.
Another is Jolene. Jolene tested many men in the 2000s (early to mid). The second was Richard, the husband of her friend Denise. Denise knew that Jolene and Richard had sex, but when she found out that they slept together more than she already knew and that Richard might be the father of Jolene's son Anthony, she said that she would not forgive Richard, regardless of the results. Richard was not the father, but Jolene and Denise seemed to reconcile after the show, despite Denise claming that Jolene would have to test two major cities in Ohio to find the father, and that Jolene and Richard could have each other regardless of the results. Jolene tested two more men, but they were not the father.
However, I saw at least one story where a woman did not forgive because her boyfriend did get someone else pregnant. First, a woman named Aisia confessed to her sister Leelee that she slept with Leelee's boyfriend, and that he might be her daughter's father. Leelee said that her boyfriend better hope he's not the father. He wasn't. Still mad, they got back together again and reconciled. Then things got worse. Another woman claimed that Leelee's boyfriend was the father of her baby. Leelee said that she would end the relationship if this baby is his. The baby was his, and the relationship ended. Incidentally, on the same episode, Aisia tested another man (the boyfriend's cousin), and he was the father. In the update show, Leelee said that she was looking for a new boyfriend. Aisia said that she has given up on men and that she's a lesbian now. Though I heard that she got pregnant after this update and that she was unsure who the father was. -
ryoko_the_spacepirate1 — 9 years ago(November 03, 2016 11:47 PM)
I think it depends on many factors as to weather I would consider forgiving the guy.IF he resulted in a child nopeall bets are off.
But I migh forgive cheating depending on
how many times
was it with multiple people
was it protected
did i fin out vs did they confess and things like that
"I think I liked it better when I thought Sylar ate brains." -Warriorrenegade -
bug76 — 9 years ago(December 11, 2016 11:56 AM)
It depends.
I was dating a guy for about a year. I found him cheating on me with a married woman with 2 kids.
I broke up with him the day I went to see him and saw her car there and his bed all messed up. She looked petrified to see me. I think she was scared I would poybd her face. I didn't. My now ex wasn't worth fighting for.
Come to find out that he had gotten her pregnant.
I thought, "that relationship will never work." It didn't. She left him.
Now, he is married. I told my mom, "better her than me."
But, if you're married with kids, the situation becomes extremely complicated.
If you're single-no kids, leaving might be easier.
Do what's best for you.