You could say you used to live there and ask to have a look around.
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joshwords — 14 years ago(January 21, 2012 07:10 PM)
"Hello mamn, the (name of construction firm) I'm with has asked me to get angles and degrees of a window set up that overlooks the downtown area so we can prepare to build a new building on the opposite side of town. I don't mean to interupt but may I ask a favor of allowing me to step onto your balcony while I take my recordings?"
"Hi, How are you this afternoon? I'm scouting locations and views for an assignment with (name of whatever). Do you mind if I take a look from your balcony? Is that blueberry tea I smell?" -
unnouinceput — 13 years ago(June 12, 2012 04:28 PM)
You guys are pathetic. If I am the man living inside that apartment with the balcony none of your approaches would made you to my balcony. For those with "I am moving in the neighborhood" excuse I would simply said piss off. For those who said they are with whatever company I would asked for their credentials and check them if they say the truth - which you cannot back it up since you're on training with your officer waiting in the coffee shop. The one with "you got a crack on the balcony and I know where it is I would ask you 1st where is the crack, shut the door, check the balcony and come back with the baseball club to measure your head against it because you lied to me.
I get all the time at my door people I don't know, I always answer to the door, not my wife and I have a very rude tone at start. My trust and respect, if I don't know you, you earn them from me - after all it's you standing in front of my door not the other way around.
So, I get :
-people trying to sell stuff (commercial seller) - they get a gesture within 5 seconds from my hand and the words "not interested" and the door slammed in their face.
-people trying to talk to me about religion stuff (Jehovah witness type) - I simply reply I am Muslim and they get the same door slamming.- when the priest from local church does the annual visit to "bless the house" he gets "I am atheist" reply (in past 2 years he never even bothered to ring my bell anymore, I guess by now he learned the lesson).
- free advertisers from big companies like Coca-Cola, Pepsi and like that, they get the "I am Pepsi fan" for Coke guys, or "I am Coke fan and hate Pepsi" for those from Coke - you get the picture, I am always the rival company fan.
- people asking for money - the simple beggars get's a door slammed, the ones with a "we are helping a little girl who has cancer and needs expensive treatment" kind they get a full check of their stories. If they are legit, they get a lump of sum that varies between $10 and $100 depending on my financial situation. If they don't pass the check-up they get the police. I always make a citizen arrest, call the cops after that (yes, I am 6 feet tall and 250 pounds, so I do got the strength to put them down even if they are 4, but usually are 2) and put an end to their scam. And by the way, before I call the cops I get all their money and jewels (last one was a idiot with a nose piercing, he went to the police car with his nose bleeding because the ring was in my pocket) and then I go to a real local charity office I know is legit and donate those.
- Christmas people gets a piss off and a swear from my side - they are too old to disguise themselves, for me those are worse than the above simple beggars.
- Christmas kids are welcomed, get my wife and my kids, hear their songs and give them lolly-pops, apples and sweets, never money.
So, unless you're a kid on Christmas Eve, you're not going to set foot beyond my door, not mention the balcony.
Now, I will tell you how I will do it.
Ring the door, tell the person that I need to watch from their balcony and offer a bribe - yes, a bribe would get you also into my balcony as well.
If the person is reluctant and ask for the reason I would simply tell the truth - my training officer is in the square and this is a test for me. Always the bribe along with the truth will give you 99% of the persons. For the rest 1% I would also add, that since is my career on the line, with a big smile on my face I'll say "if you deny me I will come tonight and throw with Molotov cocteils from the square into your apartment. So, will you accept the bribe and let me to your balcony or you wanna call fire department tonight?".
Bribe, truth and last resort extreme violence threat - 100% guarantee will get you anything.
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qubit01 — 12 years ago(September 12, 2013 10:02 PM)
Wow. You must be very popular in your community .
So, I get :
-people trying to sell stuff (commercial seller) - they get a gesture within 5 seconds from my hand and the words "not interested" and the door slammed in their face.
Or you could be a decent human being, say "Sorry, I'm not interested," and then close the door.
-people trying to talk to me about religion stuff (Jehovah witness type) - I simply reply I am Muslim and they get the same door slamming.
Or you could be a decent human being, say "I am quite comfortable in my own faith, thank you," and close the door.- when the priest from local church does the annual visit to "bless the house" he gets "I am atheist" reply (in past 2 years he never even bothered to ring my bell anymore, I guess by now he learned the lesson).
But I thought you were Muslim? Or are you lying in each instance? You know who has no problem lying so easily? Sociopaths. You could just say "I'm not Catholic." And be telling the truth, assuming you are not Catholic. But you would rather lie. Sociopath. - free advertisers from big companies like Coca-Cola, Pepsi and like that, they get the "I am Pepsi fan" for Coke guys, or "I am Coke fan and hate Pepsi" for those from Coke - you get the picture, I am always the rival company fan.
Not sure what a "free advertiser" is, so I'll leave this one alone. - people asking for money - the simple beggars get's a door slammed, the ones with a "we are helping a little girl who has cancer and needs expensive treatment" kind they get a full check of their stories. If they are legit, they get a lump of sum that varies between $10 and $100 depending on my financial situation. If they don't pass the check-up they get the police. I always make a citizen arrest, call the cops after that (yes, I am 6 feet tall and 250 pounds, so I do got the strength to put them down even if they are 4, but usually are 2) and put an end to their scam. And by the way, before I call the cops I get all their money and jewels (last one was a idiot with a nose piercing, he went to the police car with his nose bleeding because the ring was in my pocket) and then I go to a real local charity office I know is legit and donate those.
Wow. Or you could say to the beggar, "I'm sorry but I cannot spare any money. I will happily bring you a sandwich and soda, however, if you wait outside for a moment," and when giving the food say "God bless you, I wish you luck in your situation." As for the charity, of course you should check that they are legit. But:
And by the way, before I call the cops I get all their money and jewels (last one was a idiot with a nose piercing, he went to the police car with his nose bleeding because the ring was in my pocket) and then I go to a real local charity office I know is legit and donate those.
You need to immediately step away from the keyboard and place yourself under citizen's arrest and call the police, little big man, because you just ADMITTED TO ROBBERY, a felony in every state of the union. beep - Christmas people gets a piss off and a swear from my side - they are too old to disguise themselves, for me those are worse than the above simple beggars.
[blue]This makes absolutely no sense, but at least you are still dead set on being a pathetic asshat lacking in every social grace. - Christmas kids are welcomed, get my wife and my kids, hear their songs and give them lolly-pops, apples and sweets, never money.
So, unless you're a kid on Christmas Eve, you're not going to set foot beyond my door, not mention the balcony.
Okey dokey.
yes, a bribe would get you also into my balcony as well.
Didn't realize they made trailers with balconies. You must be the coolest cat in the trailer park.
For the rest 1% I would also add, that since is my career on the line, with a big smile on my face I'll say "if you deny me I will come tonight and throw with Molotov cocteils [sic] from the square into your apartment. So, will you accept the bribe and let me to your balcony or you wanna call fire department tonight?".
Cementing your status as sociopath, as I am sure that if any of the people mentioned in your rant had done the same thing, you would think it to be wrong of them. But that's the thing about sociopaths- they think they are above everyone else and should be able to do anything they want with no consequences.
Good day, Sir, it's been fun- I hope you get the professional help that you badly need.
- when the priest from local church does the annual visit to "bless the house" he gets "I am atheist" reply (in past 2 years he never even bothered to ring my bell anymore, I guess by now he learned the lesson).
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velvetcrimson — 10 years ago(February 01, 2016 05:29 AM)
This post is a couple of years old now, so with some luck you're an adult by now and realize that what this fantasy of yours is pretty silly. I know Clint Eastwood is a pretty cool dude but I doubt he's anything like that in reality when he answers the door. Making a citizen's arrest on random solicitors would get you sued in court if not arrested pretty quickly. Unless said person is violent and presents a clear threat. And you even suggest that you've done it several times. The local PD would hate your guts by now, and so would your lawyer.
So, for being someone who's extremely suspicious to people selling cookies you would actually believe "Hi, my name is John. I'm a CIA recruite, and my training officer asked me to be on one of these balconies in five minutes. How about fifty buck for the trouble?"?! I mean, you being a guy who invest considerable amount of time doing "full check up" of claims from beggars before you either arrest them or decide to donate. Not really sure how you check up on their claims though, you look them up on facebook and decide if the actually look sick enough? But you're telling us that you would hands down believe the CIA story?
And, for being a total badass who happily smash people with your baseball bat, you're not ashamed of letting any scum inside if they start threating you with Molotov cocktails? I mean, that if anything, would justify a citizen's arrest and even hold up as self defence in court if you indeed would assault the man with a baseball bat.
Your wannabe badass fantasies aside, I think a tiny part of being a CIA agent is not letting people know you work for the CIA. So I would say that part of the assignment was to get on the balcony without telling anyone the truth about your job. But wait until you turn 21, you can probably get a job within the CIA administration and learn more about their assignments and why secrecy is imperative for their agents. -
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Nizzemancer-1 — 10 years ago(May 02, 2015 03:30 PM)
I'd knock on the door and say that I bet my friend I could get onto a balcony in the building within 5 minutes and if they let me out there I'll give them half.
Then I'd give them a couple of bucks for their trouble.
Light travels faster than sound,
that's why people seem bright,
until you hear them. -
itz_theo — 10 years ago(June 12, 2015 02:00 PM)
I'd say " Hello I'm the director of photography for a movie production team and would like to have a glance of the place from the balcony for a scene. If it isn't much trouble".
Its not about knowing. You can never really know someone. Its really about trust. - Richard Castle