Will Neil molest boys too?
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rodcenray — 12 years ago(November 05, 2013 03:42 AM)
In the book Eric discovers that Neil has child pornography in the dresser drawer he always locks up. It has pre-teen boys with older men. The book pretty much confirms the boys are underage and not twinks.
Now, all that being said, do I think Neil could become a child molester too? That's a hard question to answer but I'd say no. Yes, he was looking at child pornography but I feel like it isn't just about the child but rather the innocence a child possesses. Maybe in his mind while he viewed the porn he imagined he and Coach doing stuff.
By the end of the book he does come to a realization about the true lasting effects of what happened and I feel like it made him finally open his eyes and see that where he may have enjoyed the experience and held it as something sacred it totally ruined Brian's life and stunted him emotionally. He came to realize it wasn't love. That Coach used them. I think that knowledge, seeing what Coach did through Brian, would be enough to deter him from ever molesting a child. -
neilmcks — 12 years ago(November 12, 2013 08:12 AM)
For all the people who read the book in a proper way it must be clear that Neil already had some kind of sexual feelings for older men before he was molested.
Neil just likes older men, simpel as that. What by the way of course doesn't justifies him getting abused by an older man, not at all.
But I can't really understand why some people here think that his desire for older men will turn all of a sudden in a desire for children. Its a bit a strange conclusion if you ask me.
The 'child pornography' he was looking at was more about the children he could identify with and the older men he could identify Coach and all his other older John's with. It has nothing to do with own feelings for children. Not at all.
Neil describes several times in the book in detail his preferance for older guys. Something totally different then pedophilia. Next to that the desire for older men maybe has something to do with the absence of a father (figure) in his life.
The case you often see with pedophiles, yes some are also abused as a child. But also get theirselfs at a very young age feelings for younger children. This is not the case in Neil's situation. If their would be a definition for Neil his sexual preferance you would more say he is just a gay guy who likes older men. Not at all uncommon in the gay scene.
So to answer the question. Will Neil molest boys too? No, he will not. 100% sure of that. -
Forlorn_Rage — 10 years ago(July 27, 2015 03:24 AM)
Excellent post! Couldn't have said it better myself!
Child pornography is brought up with Neil and some posters immediately throw all logic out the window; automatically thinking Neil= child molester, even though he specifically states he is attracted to MUCH OLDER MEN, not children. He sees himself in the position of the much younger boys with the older men, not the other way around. -
greenjae — 12 years ago(November 23, 2013 11:51 PM)
I've heard people say that the sexually abused children will be likely to grow up to commit sexual abuse. I think it's important to address this prevalent belief.
"while it is true that many (though by no means all) who sexually abuse children have histories of sexual abuse, it is NOT true that most boys who are sexually abused go on to sexually abuse others. "
source:
https://1in6.org/therapists-and-other-professionals/myths-facts/ -
knoxfan2008 — 12 years ago(November 29, 2013 10:39 AM)
^ Thank you for actually using reason in this thread.
Also people saying "yep he probably will", are being pretty moronic. The film showed pretty clearly that he wouldn't. The film also went to show that he is not gay because he was abused, yet his view towards sex has been modified heavily due to this experience. -
belinda-short — 12 years ago(February 11, 2014 12:13 AM)
When you are groomed the way that Neil was to enjoy it, there is a very real chance that you will grow up to think that nothing that happened was wrong.
In real life, there is a very real chance that someone who was molested in this way would continue this behavior unless something changed them. By the end of this movie, he realized that what had made him feel good actually hurt someone else. I very much doubt at that point that he would do that to another child. -
theunopeneddoor-697-442391 — 10 years ago(December 14, 2015 01:46 AM)
^BS.
A person who grows up to be a child molester must have both a genetic predisposition AND environment to make them a molester. They are both born AND made and like all mental problems it is not so simple as "this happened therefore you will act like that."
www.facebook.com/groups/ivegotyou -
theunopeneddoor-697-442391 — 10 years ago(December 14, 2015 01:48 AM)
No. He is attracted to OLDER MEN because of what happened to him. Also watch the scene at the baseball park again, it's clear there is nothing sexual there. Neil in fact shows little interest at all in the boy.
www.facebook.com/groups/ivegotyou -
InsecureNeuroticControlFreak — 10 years ago(February 17, 2016 12:39 PM)
I will say that Neil likely grew up with a skewed view on what healthy relationships with children are, but I do not in any way believe he will grow up to be a pedophile.
Sure, in the novel, he collects pornography involving children, but it's pornography of children and OLDER MEN, and I think it's because he fantasizes about what was done to him as a child. It's pretty clear what his attraction is: older, scruffier, strange men. That's quite the opposite of children.
Troll the respawn, Jeremy. -
knoxfan2008 — 9 years ago(September 11, 2016 06:48 AM)
The scene of him being super friendly to the boy was more his slightly warped perception of giving kids heaps of praise and attention, cause he remebers how nice that felt to him. It's definitely not any sign he'd go on to do it.
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red_rackham_77 — 9 years ago(February 13, 2017 05:44 PM)
What you said is the same thing when teenage girls engage in sex with a grown man and claims that they loved it and they loved them and worst of all they believe that they are loved by them.
Neil is a victim who doesn't realize that what happen to him wasn't love, his real home failed to give him the proper love he deserved and thanks to that he misinterprets child molestation and child rape as love.
He needs help and lots of it before he does follow what he was taught as a little boy, you teach a child to hate he will hate, you teach a child to bully and he becomes a bully but in Neil case he needs to be shown what happen to him wasn't love. I think he got it when he sees the reaction of Brian after telling him the whole story and maybe he now knows that deep down he is a victim.