I saw Season 1 yesterday and although I laughed out aloud lots of times, I had to rewind two bits countless times. The f
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mr-adam-madison — 13 years ago(June 08, 2012 08:20 PM)
Kristen Bell: "That's going to be strike one. One more and I'm going to report you to Alan Duck."
Martin Starr: "You know, there are three strikes in baseball"
Bell: "Well this isn't beep baseball, weasel face! It's catering! I wouldn't trust the Ron I knew to mop a toilet. But word is you've pulled yourself together and you're going to run a Soup 'R Crackers. Which makes me breathe a little easier because I've been inside a Soup 'R Crackers, and you can't run one if you're a complete beep idiot."
Starr: "You want me to stand here all night like a douchebag next to a sign?"
Bell: "Do it in whatever style you like. But yes."
Starr: "It's common knowledge that uptight controlling women are sexually explosive."
Jackal Onassis / Dennis: "Thanks Todd, thanks for being so full of beep man, and I wanna beep your wife. So blah blah blah beep from you, man."
Jackal Onassis / Dennis: "I think I saw some pretty damaged-looking sluts over by the snack tray though." -
random_guy2 — 13 years ago(December 10, 2012 01:51 PM)
Jackal Onassis had a bunch of great lines. The one that made me laugh the hardest was:
Mandy: So it wasn't Jackal Onassis, it was just some guy?
Jackal: (quietly) And the difference is what, folks, come on. -
johnny-rose — 12 years ago(July 15, 2013 03:10 AM)
Ron: Henry, when you have an orgasm, how much stuff comes out, off your penis.
Henry: Why come to me with this, why not a doctor, or a close personal friend.
Ron: You watch porn right?
Henry: I'm not a connoisseur or anything
Ron: Is that normal? I mean in bartending terms this guys ejaculate like jigger-full. I used to think it was trick photography like some guy off camera with a (not sure supersoak) or something. I studied it on dvd, slow it down frame by frame, and unless it's CGI which I can't imagine that they have the budget for it, that's a lot of ejaculate. Or is it? I don't know.
And the whole scene after that, especially Henry's reactions, are just brilliant. -
d-style-cubed — 11 years ago(October 06, 2014 09:48 AM)
Casey: I justI just need you to know that Im not the pancake lady.
Henry: Thepancake lady?
Casey: The pancake lady. She makes the best pancakes in all of the kingdom, but she only makes one pancake for every person.
Henry: Ive never heard this fable.
Casey: Are you seri-? Aw, ok, sostranger rides into town, and he says, hey, can I, can I get one of those pancakes everybodys raving about? So she makes him one, and he eats it. And he says, yeah thatsthats gooddecent pancake, not like the best Ive ever had or anything. I dont know, maybe you were distracted.
Henry: Right.
Casey: So she makes him another one, and then another one, and another She makes him like a whole bunch of pancakes, and hes full. And then he says to her, listen, I have to admit that actually was one epic pancake. So she cuts him off. See, the thing is, the first pancake she made for him was epic, he was just messing with her mind, man. He was just tricking her into putting outpancakes. Which is hilarious, I think, because, really, the pancake lady, she was just like tossing him that first one as a sympathy pancake anyway, so
Henry: Wellpancake lady sounds like a whore.
I might have been born yesterday,
but I stayed up all night