Seriously.
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rj-27 — 10 years ago(October 13, 2015 10:50 AM)
We adopted a 20 month old boy from Russia and 4 years later adopted a 7 year old girl.
I would do the boy all over again in a heartbeat.
I only know the latter (only rich people seem to be able to shop internationally to score a healthy non minority baby, because at least according to the news, black/brown babies in the US available for adoption ain't exactly flying off the shelves).
We are not rich. It does cost close to $20,000 to adopt internationally. More depending on what country and what agency you choose to work through.
The reason black babies, or other non-white children, are not "flying off the shelves" can be attributed directly to the state sponsored agencies that are responsible for placing these children. They will not, repeat will not, place a "minority" child with a white couple if there is
any
chance that child can be place in a household of the same ethnicity. We tried and were rebuffed.
Democracy is the pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance. H.L. Mencken -
UpperEastSider — 10 years ago(October 11, 2015 07:04 PM)
I'm not sure about this. Just because there wasn't a scene showing the parents sit the kids down and explain their plan to adopt, doesn't mean that the kids weren't aware of it.
It seemed pretty obvious that they knew they were getting adopted sister. As another user already said, Max seemed eager to greet her (she was expecting her) and Daniel just blew her off (he couldn't care less).
Whether or not the parents adopt isn't really up to the kids, anyways. It's up to the parents.
Respect what you have -
Miss_Georgia — 10 years ago(February 16, 2016 03:07 PM)
I disagree with you 100% and I am not trying to sway you but I am going to play devil's advocate.
Do parents run it by their children before they attempt to conceive? No because certain things are not up to the children. That is why there are parents and children. Yes, I hear what you are saying about her being 9 but 9 is still young, shes hardly collecting social security, lol. Babies are time consuming, loud, they need everything done for them and yeah if we are going to be practical a baby would take the spotlight off the other kids.
I can't imagine asking a child if the color I chose for the wall is to their liking. Never mind a serious decision on my end like adding to my family.
My fiance and I do not have children but we have looked in to adopting via foster care and made our decision to proceed that way. Now Ester's adoption was similar in that she was at a convent orphanage. From what I have seen, when you like a child you have to act fast. Healthy, white babies go fastest and a healthy, white child is the equivalent for those of us adopting but don't have unlimited amounts of money. From that perspective they couldn't drag their feet and wait for their children's blessing.
Anyway, not trying to sway you just offering my perspective. No one ever asked me how many siblings I want, no one I know was ever asked and I personally can't fathom asking a child if it is cool with them to add to the family. -
wittnerfamily — 9 years ago(July 27, 2016 06:36 AM)
My husband and I are adopting a group of siblings we are white middle-class people adopting minority children. We are not adopting them because we need children, we are adopting them because they need parents. We do have biological children and the youngest one is only four years older than the oldest of the children we are adopting. While we discussed this with their kids, we certainly did not ask for their approval. We did not involve them in the selection process, as there was no selection process. These children came into our lives, needed a family and we decided to help. I agree with the poster who stated that this is not a decision for the children.