would you treat your mother like barbara does?
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always_keep_fighting — 11 years ago(February 09, 2015 09:24 PM)
It would never even occur to me to call my mom a 8itch, screaming like a harpy at her, and even physically assaulting her. But my mom is the polar opposite of Vi. She is the kindest, most loving mother that any daughter (or son) could hope for. I don't know what I'd do if she had been like Vi, but I know I wouldn't have stuck around a day past my 18th birthday. That old woman would die alone and unmourned. Buuuuut
The story Vi told of the Christmas boots broke my heart. No wonder she turned out like she did! Meryl Streep owned that role; she was AMAZING. Mattie Fae was almost as bad. She was horrible to "Little" Charles; she said things that should never come out of a mother's mouth.
Slept with her sister's husband!!!
The scene with the catfish was just jaw-dropping. Julia R screaming, "Eat the fish, 8itch!!" to her mother, no matter how difficult (understatement, I know) she wasBarbara was going to end up just like Vi.
It's hard to imagine children growing up in such a toxic environment. I'm amazed that they all made it to adulthood without someone getting killed.
I don't think that I would do what Barbara did; I would do what my cousin did. His father was every bit a repugnant and abusive (even more so) than Vi, and on my cousin's 18th birthday, he rode his bike to the highway, took off his shirt, socks and shoes, and put them in a neat stack on the bike, and stuck out his thumb. He wanted NOTHING from his father, not even the shirt on his back. They did not speak for YEARS. No one blamed him. I think I'd do something like that.
What a sad story. What a dysfunctional family. It's like getting your Masters' in "How NOT to Raise a Child." I hope this type of family is not the norm.
If I had a dollar for every time I got distractedOh, look!! A puppy!! -
sheilafiah — 11 years ago(February 16, 2015 10:21 PM)
wow what a story with your cousin! reminds me a lot of the movie "this boy's life", although in that movie the father is not his real father. anyway, i don't have a bad relationship with my parents, but not a good one, too. i'm more like ivy in the movie (although i am aslo "bitter" like barbara). i do have disputes with my mother, but it's unimaginable to treat her like that. so i think i'd do the same as you.
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sheilafiah — 11 years ago(February 16, 2015 10:24 PM)
it's really interesting to see how many views and character people have. thanks for the reply! i think i wouldn't go that far (i'm a more 'keep it to myself' person) BUT i definitely can understand if people act like barbara. Meryl streep in the movie (forgot the mother's name) is not a good mother, and the movie shows how each daughter acts differently towards her
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merlinsbearddd — 11 years ago(February 19, 2015 06:23 AM)
My mother, no, (she's honestly the most perfect, sweetest, kindest woman I've ever met in my entire life), but my father, yes. I saw a lot of similarities between my dad's side of the family in this movie; Violet even reminded me of an amplified version of my Aunt Karen (coincidentally named.) I've told my father that I hate him, he's abusive, miserable, and wants to make everyone around him miserablethe only thing I've refrained from was telling him that I can't wait for the day he dies. Of course, it took forever for me to let this all out after bottling it up for twenty years and being afraid to even speak against him. I can't imagine being so casually abrasive to him, like Barbara did, though. Maybe in dire circumstances, but I'm not a mean spirited person and I can't even imagine just indifferently spewing hate like they did (specifically Violet and Mattie Fae.)
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moosefeathers — 11 years ago(February 27, 2015 09:08 AM)
I'd beat the shyt out of her while trying to pull those pills from her claws. So, yes.
That's what she need, a few good slaps across the face to make her shut the fck up. She acted that way because she knew no one would stand up to her. I'm glad Barbara knocked her on her ass and told her to eat the fcking fish, bitch.
Swing away, Merrill.Merrill, swing away -
pgooden — 10 years ago(October 03, 2015 05:31 AM)
If I did I would be ashamed of myself but I can see it happening.
Vi was a reprehensible mother and I think, that sometime the mantle of the mother daughter relationship get thrown away and all you have is 2 women who are bitter and destructive. You can see how Barb might be a copy of her mother later on( as with her daughter) When they got into it they were not mother-daughter- they were to women fighting for control
loved your "swing away, swing away " reference -
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theresnh — 11 years ago(March 30, 2015 08:02 PM)
I got the impression that Barb was flipping out but was also trying to say stuff so Ivy wouldn't say that her and Little Charles were involved (so they could go to NY without knowing they were brother and sister). Barb was also tired of the machinations of her mother.
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verizonowner88 — 10 years ago(June 08, 2015 05:56 PM)
When Vi was telling the story about the Christmas boots I started to rock myself in my seat and I wasn't aware I was doing it until my own daughter asked if I was alright. The reason, I have a very similar story. My mother could be the woman this movie was written about-minus the drugs. My father was an alcoholic though. My mothers issue, rather than drugs, were mental health problems. She physically and mentally dominated and abused me for most of my life. I finally let her have it (verbally) last year and haven't spoken to her since. So, YES, finally I treated my mother equally as bad as she was treating me for most of my life.
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tryingcake — 10 years ago(September 08, 2015 04:17 PM)
For years I resented my parents for the way I was raised. I did not know I had choices. Finally one day, at age 45, I just walked away. Years later I am still estranged and still have peace in my life. Just walk away, people. It's not worth the stress it brings not to.