Ellis was a stalker, and was extremely creepy.
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CarusProductions — 10 years ago(October 28, 2015 04:58 PM)
Yes! Because on an unconscious level most people don't feel they deserve to be with someone, so they prefer the person they can't have, rather than finding someone with whom there is a mutual attraction.
Karina Lafayette ~ -
thulk01 — 10 years ago(October 27, 2015 11:23 PM)
Agree with most of what you said, although one could argue that it's not an entirely illogical distinction (creepy / not creepy) as it boils down to efficiency - you express your desire to take this woman out 4-5 times, she rejects the invitation and acts as if she dislikes you every time, so it's logical to conclude that she isn't interested; therefore continuing to pursue it would, on average, just annoy the woman so the behavior is socially unacceptable, leading people to classify those who continue to engage in it as "creepy."
For example if someone liked you, but you disliked him/her, yet he constantly called you and showed up at your house unannounced, you probably wouldn't like it, you would find it annoying, and you would class the person as "creepy."
Obviously in the movie it's a different story, but the "she's probably immortal and is rejecting me because she doesn't want to risk outliving me" explanation is so rare that you can't really assume that the person observing the interaction and making the classification would ever jump to that conclusion; they would jump to the much more likely explanation of "he's annoying and can't take a hint."
Of course, if the person doing it is rich and physically attractive, then most people would view it as far less "creepy" than if a poor and/or unattractive person did it, which is funny, but that's a completely different discussion.
Let me know if you have any additional thoughts or disagree with this. -
hvitlys — 10 years ago(December 19, 2015 07:11 PM)
Thank you guys for this thread, I've been waiting for an excuse to voice my thoughts on the so called 'stalking' word that everyone uses today. And thank you to Loquacient, ShirleyShirleyShirley, pearlmode, etc. I pretty much agree with you.
The word STALKER has become OVERUSED and deprived of its real definition. This is my summary.
Nowadays everything is considered 'stalking', yet everybody posts all kinds of info, pics, and whatnot on themselves, on the internet, dumping all of this private information to be available for anyone to look (nothing wrong with that, HUH?!
)
I too am from another generation. I was born in the late 70s. And dude, chasing someone romantically has always been how it is, but you learn how to deal with it and say no or whatever you have to, if you don't like the person.
Nowadays it is chasing people over the internet, but from the safety of one's home, without the other person knowing (and that's not creepy at all, right?!).
I just honestly think this 'stalker'/'stalking' concept has blown out of proportion, to the point that any kind of tiny romantic pursuit is labelled as that. Recently, an American friend told me that it was so ridiculous to the point that a (girl)friend of his said that a guy he was stalking her just because he asked her to dance with him once. Hello?!
To me (and a bunch of dictionaries) being a stalker or stalking someone entails harassment, insecurity, crime, and whatnot. If it's a romantic pursuit, either take it as flattery, or try to tell the guy no, and at some point it will stop. And if it does go to the border of being dangerous, yes: then it is stalking. Otherwise, people should grow a pair and TALK, instead of acting in a passive-aggressive mode, hiding behind screens, and hey: LIVE. If you don't go after what you want, you will regret it later. Everybody I know say they regret the things they haven't done - because they didn't dare to. So someone who tries is now simply labelled as a stalker. Excuse me while I roll my eyes. -
mzanier — 10 years ago(December 25, 2015 04:08 AM)
This was close to being insightful and offering an interesting perspective on social behavior. Instead, it's a preachy mess about people using twitter and everyone being slaves to media and big corporations, with a final flourish about the nature of language. Couldn't help but laugh at that though, completely absurd and totally unnecessary.
I do, however, agree with you in regards to the point of people not seeing him as romantic, the subject upon which this thread began. The most borderline offense he had was getting her address and actually going there. That's a bit sketchy in any era.
Sadly we live in a world where what was once standard courtship is now 'creepy', politeness is confused with flirting, and a poke on facebook shows your true intent. It's a new era and rules are different here. It kind of sucks, but at the same time I promise it's not going to be the downfall of society. -
xanxei — 10 years ago(March 20, 2016 12:44 PM)
Bull. beep
when you see a man proving his deep affection
Where do you get this idea that a man should "prove his deep affection"? The level of his affection is completely irrelevant if she wants nothing to do with him. Or let me put this in general terms, so hopefully you'll grasp it without being blinded by your skewed view of men/women dynamics:
If you offer someone something and they say no, the civilised thing to do is respect their decision, not override it because you think you know better than them what they should do with their life. Good intentions don't matter - you respect their choice. Because it's theirs. Even if it's the wrong one. Basic manners, dude. -
LuckyBeerCamper — 9 years ago(July 18, 2016 11:57 AM)
I don't entirely agree. People say no, when they really want to say yes, all the time. There is a balance. Using his position to get her address is over the line, nothing else he did was sketchy. She's giving signs that she is clearly interested, there is just a wall there. Sometimes it can be worth trying to break down that emotional wall.
Vera Farmiga is underrated!
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xanxei — 10 years ago(March 20, 2016 01:17 PM)
Well I hate it when people call others cold b!tches. See how that works?
Consider this, also: these cold b!tches are calling this one specific dude creepy for specific reasons (good ones). You just went ahead and called women (all of them) cold b!tches. Because you've probably behaved like this at some point and don't like it that it's apparently frowned upon. Well, sorry. You don't get to will/bully/badger/annoy/blackmail/nag women into liking you because you just want it really badly. Even if you think you're a decent guy and you'd be good for them, and even if you can be witty while you're badgering them.
That being said, I think maybe "creepy" IS the wrong word. I suppose "creepy" should include a threatening element, which this situation doesn't, but he was most certainly very rude and disrespectful. And actually, the blackmail probably did cross over into creepy. That was no, yeah: creepy's the word. -
Shaftell — 10 years ago(September 19, 2015 01:38 AM)
I was going to make a similar post after finishing the movie. I don't think he was a stalker but he definitely was a little creepy. First off, I like the actor (from GOT) but I thought he needed a shave for this movie. Blake Lively looked so elegant in this movie and the male lead looked a little too unkempt. I definitely thought he was very pushy and also that the entire relationship moved incredibly fast. The worst is when he shows up at her workplace with donations and would only donate if she went out with him. I wish they portrayed him differently because I thought he was incredibly douchy.