Men's logic. Jesse's logic. It's ridiculous
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Archived from the IMDb Discussion Forums — Liberal Arts
MarvelousWombat — 12 years ago(October 20, 2013 07:42 AM)
Refuse to have sex with a 19 year old girl who is so perfect for him coz of the difference of their ages, virginity and stuffs, then in bed with his former teacher who is about 10+ older than him.
It doesn't make sense, kinda sexist and double standard.
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MarvelousWombat — 12 years ago(October 30, 2013 12:07 PM)
U don't get what i was talking about do u?
I was talking about the age difference between Zibby - Jesse - Professor Judith Fairfield. Jesse thinks it's better not to have sex with Zibby coz of age differences but ok to have sex with his professor. There's a double standard here.
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aaustin-10 — 12 years ago(October 30, 2013 06:06 PM)
I think his issue about the age difference can be more accurately expressed this way: he felt Zibby was vulnerable and would easily get hurt if they became intimate, whereas his professor was a hard-edged, unsentimental woman he could have a fling with without it scarring her emotionally. He was trying to be kind and decent towards Zibby. I think he was playing it safe with Zibby, and I respect that, although I also think he was overestimating how easy it would be to hurt her with a sexual relationship. I guess if I were him I would have played it safe too (if I were to ever get an offer like that).
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nikkiten1979 — 12 years ago(November 14, 2013 12:10 PM)
Zibby was a child next to him. Yes she was smart, but at the end of the day she was very young, a virgin, and was still in school. He felt weird and out of place in the Univ that he loved so much because he knows his time had passed and nothing could bring it back, not even this beautiful young girl who wanted to have sex with him and some sort of relationship. Age difference is not the same between 19 and 35 as it is between 30 and 46. When you're done with school, working, can legally drink even if you don't drink, it's a different story because technically 16 yrs isn't that awful; you can live with that but not with someone who is still growing and trying to figure themselves out.
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Silverhawkins — 12 years ago(January 31, 2014 06:30 PM)
I actually agree with the OP, although he expressed it pretty badly.
Parts of this film I really liked, but it really tied itself in knots with it's management of these 'age issues'. I thought it was bizarre (and sadly indicative of the public conscience) that Jesse thought it was wrong for him to sleep with a 19 year old with whom he had a fantastic emotional connection and a lot in common, but the same night thought nothing of a fling with his former professor. What is the message here? Meaningful sex is wrong because it has the potential to cause upset and distress, but promiscuity and casual sex is fine because there is never a chance of emotional harm? Seems topsy turvy to me.
The film appeared to lay out a series of instructive scenarios, but then drew all the wrong conclusions. I found it deeply frustrating.
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thbryn — 12 years ago(January 31, 2014 09:08 PM)
I don't think it's particularly difficult to figure out. All older men risk a
number of things
in a relationship with a minor.
We don't know what the college may have as a guideline in these matters? Suffice it to say while it may not be actionable it would be frowned upon (where the older female would not be).
Kiss
kiss,
Bang
bang -
AdvanceIstheMan — 12 years ago(February 07, 2014 10:38 PM)
Those things probably weighed on his mind but that's not what stopped him. I think he rationalized the relationship because she seemed mature and wise for her age, but finding out she was a virgin put things back in perspective. He seemed ready to sleep with her until she told him that.
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StrongCarl — 11 years ago(February 08, 2015 10:31 AM)
But it
does
make sense. Look at her emotional reaction to what she thought was him rejecting her, when all he was really doing was trying to protect her from what could be her reaction to a negative experience - and what if she actually had that negative experience; what would her reaction be
then
? He knew that she didn't have the emotional experience to deal with that sort of thing.
Then he slept with his former professor. When that was over, he got a wake-up call of his own; he was the one who realized that his experience was different from his expectations and he had his disappointment. He
thought
that he was prepared for the experience, but he wasn't.
But the difference was that he had the historical experience to deal with that and move on.
Maybe he overthought things. Maybe Zibby took "always say yes" a little too much to heart. But he made himself very clear; he believed in consequences and couldn't act knowing what the consequences could be. -
trisul — 10 years ago(April 20, 2015 01:59 PM)
I am reading your explanation, but it still makes no sense to me.
He rejected her, not to protect her, but because of his own messed up psychological state. The problem is not that it was wrong, but that he felt so uncomfortable about it, regardless of how close they were. In fact, he did hurt her, very much so. -
doggie_rodriguez — 10 years ago(June 13, 2015 11:23 AM)
I don't know if she would get hurt, but he sure seemed she would. I think her virginity came into play here more than anything. If she had been the normal "sexually experienced college girl" he probably would have "hit" it.
He knew she was different and didn't want to hurt her. The age difference would have been a problem once he had to go back to "the real world".
I honestly don't get why so many people were upset that he didn't nail her (there were several threads about this topic). I'm weird about banging virgins too. First time should be with someone special. Not me -
doggie_rodriguez — 10 years ago(June 13, 2015 06:18 PM)
I think your reading comprehension needs some work. I was completely fine with him not having sex with her. I got why he didn't do it. I've explained that several times. Not sure why you are having trouble with this. She's the one that wanted to have sex. She created the situation by bringing the physical into their dynamic.
Are you just one of those people that needs the last word? If so, she's all yours!