Share a funny food-related mishap
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Labelleloba — 10 years ago(February 23, 2016 12:10 PM)
i was at a church dinner and they were serving spaghetti, salad and rolls. "friends" of my moms' (she didn't even bother to show up so it didn't matter)was there with her with her husband. i had gotten my food and had sat down to eat, but i remembered that i had forgotten to get myself a drink. While i was filling my glass, these f@ckers felt the need to eat
my
food! i hadn't been gone five minutes. This c@nt's husband was standing there running his mouth and shoveling in
my
plate of spaghetti! i
flipped
out i started screaming at his wife for not keeping an eye on her
five
kids. If it is on
my
plate it's mine. If it's been sitting there for three days in the summer heat
It Is Mine
NOT YOURS!
Good people are always so sure they're right. -
NJtoTX — 9 years ago(November 04, 2016 05:56 AM)
I forget what I was doing, I think something with serranos, and rubbed my eye and I couldn't open it or see for a ridiculously long time, and my other eye teared up because of it. I rinsed it over and over.
There is nothing in the world that Donald Trump cant make worse. -
koskiewicz — 10 years ago(February 23, 2016 12:26 PM)
this happened to me just this past year:
I was preparing beef stew for my slow cooker. I always use a mixture of corn starch, ground black pepper, ground thyme and garlic powder. I mix those up and place the mixture in a zip lock bag. I then add my beef chunks, reseal and shake. On this occasion, I didn't have a good seal and the bag exploded upwards and covered my face with white powderI couldn't stop laughing at myself and it felt like I was on an episode of the Lucy showtrue story
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rotomato — 9 years ago(June 28, 2016 09:28 AM)
Everytime I make ravioli, I'm reminded of my first effort. I made dozens of ravioli using three different fillings. Super easy, all very delicious.
The problem occurred after freezing. I may be a bit dim but not stupid enough to stack ravioli on top of each other. I also didn't overlap them too much. They were simply lined up like kissing buttons in long rows. A week later I discovered that frozen ravioli stored this way will not separate so I left a row of them on the counter to thaw. Even at room temp, they remained stuck together. Finally, I thought perhaps they would fall apart when I boiled them. Nope.
Again, they tasted fine; just looked sillylike ravioli logs. And because they were biggish (3x3), my ravioli logs were almost too big to eat in one sitting. -
jodilyn — 9 years ago(June 28, 2016 09:34 AM)
Some years ago, I went with friends to a restaurant after a movie. It's rare I wear white pants with a white shirt but because it was hot, I went with the white. The waitress brought our drinks but tripped when she was close to me. All 5 soda's went on my lap and to make matters worse, I jumped because of the cold ice cubes and knocked a plate of spaghetti over me. It landed on my chest and then slipped down to my lap. I was a mess and because my clothes and underclothes were white, everyone could see right through the clothes. Luckily, the spaghetti sauce covered some areas.
I've haven't worn all white since that time.
To do is to be - Socrates
To be is to do - Descartes
Do be do be - Sinatra -
jofus224 — 9 years ago(June 28, 2016 10:59 AM)
I had met a girl while working a summer job at a nearby amusement park. We hit it off pretty well so I asked her out. She said yes!
I decided on a very nice, very expensive restaurant that was thankfully, also very dark. We ordered and received our dinners. Deciding to get something classy for the occasion, I ordered 'Duck L'Orange'
As we're making small talk I stick my fork into a piece and start cutting. The knife slips, and launches the entire duck breast the length of the table, down onto the floor and beneath 2 more tables before it stops.
We look up at each other, and both are trying to hold in the gales of laughter that wanted to come. No one else in the place saw, or reacted, so we went back to eating and ended up dating for a few more months.
I recently reconnected on facebook and she tells me she still likes to tell the story.
"Leave the gun, take the cannoli" -
Divtal-1 — 9 years ago(June 28, 2016 01:07 PM)
This was right out of a sitcom/dumb comedy. We were three couples in a nice cocktail lounge. I was wearing a new green silk dress. The chairs were deep, and I'm short, so I was sitting forward leaving just enough room, behind me, to accommodate a full tray of drinks. Oh, yeah!
Two, from our group, were attorneys. They immediately began laying out plans for a lawsuit (joking, of course).
I felt the worst for the waiter, who was probably a starving student, suddenly terrified for his job. He was so distraught. We, actually, left him a huge tip - as my date said: "What the hell, they weren't OUR drinks."
(Yes, they paid for the cleaning.) -
jodilyn — 9 years ago(June 28, 2016 02:07 PM)
You and I must have been eating at the same place.
The waitress in my case was the same way..terrified for her job but it wasn't her fault either. Another customer had his cane out and she tripped over that.
To do is to be - Socrates
To be is to do - Descartes
Do be do be - Sinatra -
TheReturnofCountSuckula — 9 years ago(June 28, 2016 02:07 PM)
Years ago, as I settled into my seat at a
BB King concert
I looked around me and thought to myself:
"Man, o manit doesn't get much better than this!"
(seated center isle, only about 10 rows from the stage)
The O'Jays had just left the stage after a great set, and BB was waiting in the wings. Then, THE most beautiful nubian goddess I'd ever seen sat down next to me. Clad in what appeared to be a
very
expensive 3/4 length leather coat, she flashed a warm smile, and sat down bext to me.
Did I just say, "It doesn't get much better than this?" Well, things got
even better
when she reached inside her matching leather purse and produced a large bottle of Tennessee's finest sippin' whiskey:
Jack Daniels
, and offered me a taste!
"Why thank you, kind lady.."(or words to that affect) said I(trying my best to smooth on the charm
and then I "smoothly" spilled THE ENTIRE BOTTLE all over her chest & lap, completely ruining her coat, the show, and the evening!!!
I was so embarrassed and shaken that i didn't even bother trying to apologize. I jumped up and ran to the rear of the auditorium and watched the show standing up in the back of the criwd.
"Smooth" move, Count.
"Stick with me, baby, and you'll be fartin' thru silk." -
TheReturnofCountSuckula — 9 years ago(June 28, 2016 08:57 PM)
I accidentally cut loose with an audible fart at a business luncheonI smiled and said "sergeant who?"
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/63/06/a5/6306a5fb1a51f7f0b867a4b456cd8c41.jpg
Well gooooolly, Sgt. FarterI didn't think you had it
in you
( Sergeant Vince Farter, USMC)
"Stick with me, baby, and you'll be fartin' thru silk." -
TheReturnofCountSuckula — 9 years ago(June 29, 2016 09:40 AM)
One of the funniest scenes from my favorite movie!
Was that from Caddyshack? Would you believe I've never seen the whole movie? But man I miss Rodneyeven after all this time I still can't believe he's gone.
How 'bout that crazy madras jacket he was rockin'
"Stick with me, baby, and you'll be fartin' thru silk." -
No_Socks_Here — 9 years ago(June 29, 2016 11:18 AM)
Count, you just gotta rent this flick! I miss Rodney too, but there's another great comedian in this movie who's now goneTed Knight. Besides the hysterical dialog, the sight gags abound. One of the all-time greatest comedies!
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive they'd eventually find me attractive -
TheReturnofCountSuckula — 9 years ago(June 29, 2016 12:52 PM)
"Ted Knight"
TN was out of his mind, lol! He was SO FUNNY, especially on the old MTM show. Check out this clip from back in the dayit really made me, lol.
re:Caddyshack
Oh I've seen Caddyshackit's hysterical! I just have never sat down and watched it from start to finish.
Rodney was a comedic genius as far as I'm concerned. THE funniest man who ever walked this earth. He's definitely on my "Mount Rushmore of Comedy" along with George Carlin, Richard Pryor and Eddie Murphyhonorable mention goes to Martin Short.
sigh
It's good to laugh, no?
"Stick with me, baby, and you'll be fartin' thru silk." -
BoingFwip — 9 years ago(June 29, 2016 01:02 PM)
I've probably shared this one before, but it's worth repeating.
My baby sister and I were latchkey kids growing up. That would never happen in this day and age. One mild February day we came home from school and she announced that she was hungry and wanted to make some food for herself, at eight years old she was starting to get more independent so I told her to go in the kitchen and pick out what she wanted. She came back holding a packet of ramen noodles. I told her to cook it in the microwave for about 3 minutes and come get me when it was done so she wouldn't burn herself taking it out. I didn't even have to wait the three minutes. The smell of burning plastic had me running into the kitchen just before the Tupperware bowl burst into flames. She didn't put any water in the bowl. The stench was so horrible that I had to open all the windows and we evacuated the house until my parents came home. My mom almost yelled at me about the windows until she walked in the house, where the evidence was still lingering.
My mom still laughs about that story. Needless to say, my sister didn't make anything else before first asking exactly how to do so.
I am a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar.
