I watched the episode where Peg thinks Al is cheating
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tbx5959 — 11 years ago(April 12, 2014 11:11 AM)
You're not getting into these pants
Why can't I get shorts, I have the legs in the family..
I'd marry a rich GreekDon't tell me (to bud) you haven't thought about being First Lady (bud turns away ashamed and embarrassed) -
happipuppi13 — 11 years ago(April 15, 2014 11:44 AM)
Lets go back to ep. #1 :
Al Bundy: Sweetie, is this your little cactus?
Peggy Bundy: Uh-huh.
Al Bundy: Any particular reason you put it where the alarm clock used to be?Peg ; You could shave your back.
Al : Hey that hair is there for a reasonkeeps you off of me at night.Little boy in the shoestore : I want a balloon,
Al : (Looking at his mom) You've already got one.Al: Let me tell you something. No woman tells Al Bundy what to do.
Customer #2: Hey, you! Get my shoes!
Al: Yes, Ma'am!Al : "I'm meeting people named Steve & Marcy?!" "Why not Steve & Edie?"
(I think that's what he said).
Love rules & hate's for fools.
(MR.) happipuppi13
arf,man! -
rhs6358 — 11 years ago(April 15, 2014 03:20 PM)
Season One, when Al shoots Steve and Marcy's dog. When Steve is asked why he's sure the dog is dead, he says something like "One, he didn't respond to any of my commands and two, his brains are in the begonias".
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BeaverHole — 11 years ago(April 26, 2014 12:12 PM)
From the nooner episode:
Al: I gotta go Peg.
Peggy: Al sing to me.
Al: GOTTA GO PEEEEGGGGGG!!!!!
From the Larry Storch episode:
Peggy calls Corporal Agon Corporal Egg Roll
Al: It's Corporal Agon YOU BLASPHEMOUS HEATHEN!
clunking car sounds coming from outside
Peggy: Is that your father and his Dodge?
Bud: No that's Larry Storch and his Dodge.
And my favorite of all time from the episode where Al can't remember the name of a song and keeps humming "hmmm hmmm himmmmmm." -
happipuppi13 — 11 years ago(April 27, 2014 02:51 PM)
Here's some favorites only from Al.
Guys may come and guys may go, but daddy's
always daddywell, at least until he jumps a freight train.I had a dream last night. A big red haired mosquito
in tight pants was hovering over me sucking money out of my wallet.Al :(Peg) I'm jealous of everyone not married to you.
I saw a star in the East. Peg, did you do laundry?
Peg, when you married me,was it
pre-meditated or a drive-by marriage?Lets go! Last one to your house gets to sit next to my wife!
If you want to have sex, the kids have to leave,
and if you want it to be good, you'll have to leave
Love rules & hate's for fools.
(MR.) happipuppi13
arf,man! -
Beeracuda — 11 years ago(July 23, 2014 05:47 PM)
Peg:
"Hi honey, did you miss me?"
Al:
"With every bullet so far"Fat Lady:
"These shoes split on the sides"
Al:
"Well ma'am, like an elevator, these shoes have a 2-ton weight limit. What say I nail the soles directly to your feet? It'll give you more traction when you're pulling the ice wagon".
Fat Lady:
"You'll be hearing from my attorney!"
Al:
"Would that be the law offices of Hagen and Dasz?"Fat Lady:
"I don't like this shade of blue"
Al:
"Ok, here's what I'll do. I'll stand you in front of a mirror, and I'll begin to strangle you. When you reach the shade of blue that's satisfactory, you yell "Moo", and I'll stop."
Fat Lady:
"How dare you say these things to my face!"
Al:
"Well I'd say them behind your back, but my car's only got a half a tank of gas!"Fat Lady:
(after being ignored in the store by Al) "Excuse me, am I invisible?"
Al:
"Possibly from Pluto"Al:
"Bud, quick - what's more important: Love or money?"
Bud:
"Well, money. I can always rent love." -
BdR76 — 11 years ago(July 30, 2014 04:13 AM)
I don't know the exact quotes but from the episode "Rain Girl" where Kelly gets to present the weather on local tv. Al, Peggy and Bud are watching Kelly on tv as she reads off the teleprompter with much difficulty. She's really struggling and reading like she's a 6 year old kid:
Peggy: "Wow, that reading tutor is really paying off."
Bud: "Why don't they just put peanut butter on her lips like they did with Mr Ed?"
Also in that episode, Kelly says something like:
Kelly: "Strom clods are headed to chick-a-go."
director off-camera: "ugh, that's Chicago!"
Kelly: "We're getting strom clods? Oh no, what are strom clods?"
One of the best episodes imho. xD -
Movie_Buff_2 — 11 years ago(August 21, 2014 12:10 PM)
I have three that I can think of off the top of my head:
(i) - When Al meets "Spare Tire" Johnson, and Bubba Smith delivers his line (deadpanned beautifully) "You never crossed that goal line. I dropped you like third period french.
(ii) - When Al wanted to punish Bud, he said "You're out of the will Wait a minute, that's no punishment, You're IN the will!! HA!! You'll owe millions!!" Then later, both Al and Kelly are off screen:
Al: (yelling angrilly) D@mn you Kelly, you ate my last M & M!! You're in the will!!
Kelly: (crying, begging, pleading) No, Dad, No!!!!!
and
(iii) - The whole scene where they spoofed The Godfather, just cracks me up, even to this day!! Esp when
Al: (in character of The Godfather) - This day may never come.
Al: (back into character of Al Bundy) - But, we both know it probably will.
Al: (back into character of The Godfather) - You'll respond in true friendship. -
BeaverHole — 11 years ago(August 27, 2014 09:50 PM)
- Al's version of "The Night Before Christmas."
- Al: "The fact that I haven't put a gun in my mouth you pudding of a womanMAKES ME A WINNER!"
- Basically anything from the Larry Storch episode.
Peg: "Honey, Larry from g-spot is here."
Larry: "That's F Troop."
Al and Griff are dressed like wolves.
Al: Midnight, moon, wolves, shoes."
Griff: (holds up his claws) "If these were real I would rip you to shreds."
Peg: "Al you missed that corporal eggroll guy."
Al: "That's Corporal Agarn you blasphemous heathen!" - Al: "Peg we've been married 20 years can't we just be friends?"
- Peg: "I know what would cheer you up hunny. But I'd never leave you not in a million years."
- Spare Tire: "My best pair of socks" and then the ensuing fight in which they both hold up pictures of their mother-in-laws to scare each other.