I got to give him a ride home once…
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Archived from the IMDb Discussion Forums — Len Lesser
GrandTheftAudio — 15 years ago(February 17, 2011 02:18 AM)
I once got to give Len a ride home from the airport back in the late 90's. I was just starting out and working at some beep Sci-Fi/Horror/Sexploitation studio. I don't need to mention the name, let's just say I was picking him up at Bradley International terminal, and he was coming back from Bucharest. You get the idea.
Everyone at work was telling me "You get to give Uncle5b4 Leo a ride! How cool!" I told them I didn't know who the beep he was and could they please enlighten me? They told me about Seinfeld. I told them when the Seinfeld boat had come in that I was waiting at the bus station. Their eyes went blank, and off I went.
So I'm taking this lifer back to Burbank and he seemed pretty okay. To kill time I asked to tell me old-school Hollywood stories since he mentioned he'd worked for a long while, and I get a kick out of Studs Terkel-type reminiscences. Turned out to be a good call on my part, cause he had a bunch and was pleased to shamble down memory lane.
He talked the most about working on "Kelly's Heroes" in Yogoslavia. Among some of the science he dropped on me was:
Charles Bronson was polite, but stand-offish. He wouldn't even shake your hand. "No offense, but it's not something I do." was a direct quote. He was also obsessively clean. I'd read that somewhere, maybe from Jack Klugman, who used to be share an apartment with him back in the day. I don't know if that was a product of growing up working in coal mines or perhaps he maybe had alcoholic parents. Juicers' kids usually turn out neat-freaks. They stay off the bottle, they make great roommates.
Clint Eastwood was a nice guy, looked out for people. He once told the craft service lady that the extra's craft service bagels were stale and that extras deserved food just as good asb68 the regular cast and crew. Of course, bagels in Yugoslavia? That might have been from when they were making "The Outlaw Josey Wales". I didn't press the issue.
Lee Marvin liked to drink, and bought the rounds with whomever could keep up with him. Most couldn't.
Donald Sutherland was cool too, with a sly sense of humor. Len recalled running into him in the lobby of the hotel the cast was holed up in. Some of the locals were not to happy to have all these movie stars cruising around their bailiwick, bad for their chances with the ladies, you know?
And here's Donald Sutherland in 1970 in a beep part of the Baltics, and he's wearing a white suit. All white, even the vest, shoes to match. He's standing out like a lighthouse, but he's wearing this suit and he's wearing it well, and he doesn't give a beep
So Donald and Len have to take the rickety elevator to their rooms, and just as the door was about to close on this wire-frame deathtrap, these three local bruisers barge in like they're looking for new kidnap victims. Muddy boots, sheepskin vests, facial scars, the whole nine yards. All they needed were sawed-offs and a ready-made ransom note.
Len said he tried to fade into the background as these toughs proceed to give them the evil eye. But ol' Donald? Well, like I said, he doesn't care. The elevator screeches up floor by floor and he just keeps eye contact the whole time, staring them down with this BIG beep grin on his face. Len said that by the second floor these Serbian Psychos started looking down at the ground. By the time they got off, Len said they were crowding him, trying to blend into the woodwork like he was. Said it was the damnedest thing he's ever seen, and never forgot it.
But the thing that made him chuckle the most on that long ride back to Burbank was how when they were filming the scenes with explosions, there was the demolitions expert. They had a scene where they had to blow a bridge, and there was the demo guy, hand on the plunger and grinning like a fool idiot.
Len starts talking to the guy and it turns out he was in the German army back in dubya dubya two, regular wermacht. And back then, he was in demolitions as well. In Yugoslavia. He told Len how he got a big kick out of the fact that thirty years ago he'd been there blowing up bridges for the fatherland, and now here he was back blowing up bridges for the yankee dollar. And then he pushed down the plunger. Len said he's never seen anyone smile like that since.
So we pull up to his ranch home in Burbank, and Len asks me if I want to come in. "I've got Doctor Pepper!" I remember him saying. He might have mentioned his daughter was coming over soon. Maybe he was trying to set me up, maybe.. I didn't know what to think, so I truthfully say I'm needed back at the office, and that was it.
Bacb68k at work everyone asked "How was Uncle Leo?". And I thought about it for a minute and said "He was pretty cool."
And he was.
Still have never bothered to catch up on my Seinfeld viewing.
RIP, Len. You told good stories. Always a big plus in my book. -
maxpayne71973 — 15 years ago(February 19, 2011 09:02 AM)
GrandTheftAudio - You sound like a complete douchebag. I can't believe Len Lesser wasted time telling a tool like you any stories. Yeah, I'm sure he wanted to set you up with his daughter. I doubt he even invited you inside. Loser
Stab Me Or Shoot Me, There's Nothin' Else You Can Do To Me -
GrandTheftAudio — 15 years ago(February 21, 2011 03:07 PM)
Ahh.. The Internet Tough Guy. It's been a while.
Come on in, have a seat.
What?
You'd prefer to stand and pace back and forth? Okay.
I couldn't help but notice you have flecks of spittle forming at the corners of your mouth as you bark insults. Are you all right? Would you like a cup of tea?
What5b4's that? Tea is for homos, and real Murricans drink coffee?
Well, I've got a french press and some sweet-ass java beans my girlfriend brought me back from her trip to Mexico City. I can make us a pot.
Whoa, whoa, calm down. You just got even more riled up. What was it I said? Was it the words Mexican Coffee? Or was it the word girlfriend?
Aha! So that's it. Well calm down, Internet Tough Guy.
You know, if you keep a positive attitude and treat others with respect and dignity, one day you just might get a girlfriend yourself.
I know it may seem far-fetched that an individual such as yourself with so many awesome things going for him could ever be in the position where a member of the opposite sex might find you attractive, but you'd be surprised.
Just try it.
Go on.
Take a deep breath.
That's right.
Try to visualize a world where you are nice to people and passing forward a compliment is not as painful as passing a kidney stone.
I know, it sounds completely unrealistic, doesn't it? Here you are, safely ensconced in the warm glow of online anonymity, suffused with the arbitrary power you think it gives you.
And you don't know if you can give all that up.
I understand that growing up is painful. And I also understand that the story I posted might seem as though I was bragging, when really I just wanted to share a momentb68 I experienced with total strangers, in the hope that they too might experience second hand what was a pretty cool moment.
But there's no need to be rude. If you treat people rudely, you'll be treated rudely yourself. If you are polite and respectful, oh! The way people treat you in return will warm the cockles of your heart.
Just a though, Internet Tough Guy. Just a thought. -
topclaw — 15 years ago(March 06, 2011 08:08 PM)
You wrote this huge spiel insulting some moron who accused you of being a liar and who's probably never going to read it when you could have spent your energy writing another story about experiences you had with some other (minor) celebrities! Get your priorities straight, man!
"Marcel Proust dit que de la merde. La raison - Je m'explique" -
throwntosafety — 11 years ago(January 09, 2015 02:13 PM)
So GrandTheftAudio, did you ever end up watching that show, Seinfeld?
Say, have you heard about this kewl band, The Beatles, from England? You might look into them too.
And I hear there is this new movie coming out called "Star Wars" something or other.
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Higgins was right.
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