What is the big deal about having a French lover in a movie these days? They eat horrid-smelling cheese, don't bathe ver
-
pmiano100 — 14 years ago(January 14, 2012 06:18 PM)
In TV and movies -
Why don't detectives block the path of suspects from the very beginning? They know they're going to run. They always do.
Why are all alleys now closed with a steel fence anyone can climb over? Of course the cops always pull them off first.
Why is learning "what life is all about" defined as either working with the poor or being a lowlife?
Why do male cops and other adventure heroes who've been shot and stabbed never have any scars when they take off their shirts?
Why is a snake bite always fatal to a bad guy, but never to a good guy?
Isn't there one criminal fast enough and smart enough to outrun two detectives twice his age?
Why do cops arrest other people for taking the law into their own hands, and then do the same thing themselves? Horatio Caine of CSI: Miami is the worst offender.
When someone says, "We just want to ask you a few questions," you're obviously in trouble.
Are the vocabularies of cops so limited, they can't think of any other way to phrase that? They all say exactly the same thing.
Why are liberal rich people usually nice and conservative people nasty?
Few prime-time teenagers seem to have run of the mill afterschool jobs. They're either not working or have glamorous jobs.
What happened to all the car chases in crime stories that were so common 15-20 years ago?
Why do lazy slackers usually prosper when in real life, most of them stay losers?
Why does it take only one cup of black coffee to sober up a drunk good guy?
When the hero jumps into a lake, river, ocean, canal, or any body of water to save someone, he always succeeds, and the clothes he was wearing when he made the rescue are dry, pressed, and spotless minutes later.
His hair is also perfectly dry and neatly combed in minutes too.
Why is conventional religion disparaged but "New Age" baloney and Native American mysticism are always respected and honored? Is there nothing about them deserving of criticism? What about the frauds some practicioners pull off? They're no better than the evangelical "Christian" con artists.
Why do hopeless nerds and dweebs pursue women totally out of their league?
Why do most women cops on TV and in movies wear expensive clothes they can't possibly afford on a cop's salary?
Why do monsters always attack a woman in a group, no matter how many men surround her?
How come caves always have flat floors, and they're never completely dark?
On Blue Bloods, why does youngest son Jamie Reagan continue to patrol around in his uniform between undercover operations against the Zamponi crime family? Isn't it possible one of the members of that mob is liable to see him and recognize him? Oh, come now!
Besides, he's the son of the police commissioner. Every mobster in town would know who he is.
Why is Danny always involved in cases his PC father gets involved in? Aren't there other detectives?
And why does every major crime take place in Manhattan? There are four other burroughs.
Are we to believe that in 7 generations, no Reagan male has ever been anything but an NYPD officer? Haven't they ever heard of upward mobility?
Why do we never run into a police official of a different ethnicity (Italian, Jewish, Polish, Black, Hispanic, German, etc.) whose family also has a distingushed NYPD legacy? The NYPD stopped being mostly Irish 40 years ago.
NYPD Police Commissioner's assistant can even speak Japanese? Oh come now.
How come all the other women detectives on the show dress fashionably, but Danny's Italian-American female partner always dresses like a homeless person?
Cowboys and Aliens - No more need be said. Too stupid for words.
Two Broke Girls - How come they work as waitresses with their long hair down? Almost every waitress I've seen who serves food has it tied up or cuts it short or at least wear nets.
A Gifted Man - Why is it that every woman Dr. Holt works with, except for Rita, his assistant and surrogate mother, is young and gorgeous? -
Dracii — 14 years ago(January 25, 2012 03:45 PM)
Watered down penicillin is ineffective and as a consequence a lot of people died. This is based on real occurences during and after the war. Black market profiteering was rampant and people tried to make money any which way without thinking of the consequences.
-
Altho73 — 13 years ago(August 12, 2012 04:36 AM)
From the classic Cy Endfield/Stanley Baker 1963 movie Zulu
In the conflict between the Zulu tribesmen and the British Army the movie gave the impression that far more British soldiers and Zulus were killed than were in reality. In the final scene when Colour Sergeant Bourne read out the roll call every third name seemed to be missing. In reality only 17 British soldiers were actually killed.
The movie did Private Henry Hook a great injustice by portraying him as an insubordinate, drunken malingerer whose main aim was getting out of doing any work. In reality Private Hook was quiet, keen and consciencious and rarely drank alcohol.
In the movie Lt Chard of the Royal Engineers took command of the Rorkes Drift garrison because he was senior to Lt Bromhead of the 24th Foot infantry by a matter of a few months. In reality Chard has been commissioned as an officer a full three years before Bromhead.
The actual reason that a Royal Engineers officer took command in a combat situation rather than an infantry officer was not because he was the senior officer but was actually due to the fact that Lt Bromhead was profoundly deaf, an impediment that would have seriously hampered his ability to take charge.
Colour Sergeant Frank Bourne as played by Nigel Greene in the movie was portrayed as a middle aged man. In reality Bourne was only 24 years old, the youngest Colour Sergeant in the British Army and was awarded a Victoria Cross but turned it down in order to be commissioned as an officer.
Corporal Friedrich Schiess of the Natal Mounted Police was also portrayed in the movie by a middle aged actor, In reality Schiess was only 22 years old.
Commissary James Dalton was portrayed in the movie as a bumbling, befuddled, upper-class idiot. In reality he was the most experienced officer present and was responsible for drawing up the battle plans and defence strategies that were successful in the defense of Rorkes Drift.
In the final scenes of the movie the army show their defiance of the attacking Zulus by singing the battle song Men of Harlech. They would not have done this because it is a Welsh song and contrary to the movie a considerable majority of the 24th Foot were NOT Welsh. Out of the eleven Victoria Crosses awarded at the Rorkes Drift campaign only two receipients were Welsh.
The 24th Foot is said to have been a division in the South Wales Borderers, but this is not correct as it only became so called in 1881, two years AFTER the Rorkes Drift campaign. At the time it was known as the 2nd Warwickshire Regiment and a considerable majority of its men were from the West Midlands area.
In one of the opening scenes of the movie Lt Bromhead is shown returning from a hunting trip having shot a sprinbok. He could not have done this as Rorkes Drift is in the province of Natal whose animal population does not include springboks.
The officers and enlisted men are shown wearing dress uniforms which they would have worn only for ceremonial duties and NOT for combat or work duties.
In the midst of Olympic fever, a few points from the 1981 movie, Chariots of Fire which told the stories of two athletes who overcame considerable obstacles to win gold medals in the 1924 Olympic games.
The movie portrayed the 100 metre athlete, Eric Lidell, being informed on his departure for the Paris Olympics that the 100m race was to be held on a Sunday making it unacceptable for him to compete due to his devout Christian beliefs and having to switch to the 400 metres (an event that he was totally unsuited to) and winning the gold medal. In reality Liddell had been informed of this several months in advance of the competition and had plenty of time to adapt and train for the 400 metres.
The movie also portrayed another athlete, Harold Abrahams rise to fame as an athlete and winning a gold medal in the Paris Olympics suffering and overcoming anti-semitism along the way. In reality despite the fact that there was considerable anti-semitism in Britain in the 1920s Harold Abrahams would have experienced very little of it as he came from a prominent family, (his elder brother had represented Britain in the 1912 Olympic games).
In the movie Harold Abrahams was shown to be the very first athlete to have completed the Great Court Run in Trinity College, Cambridge. In reality David Burghley had already achieved this feat a few years previously.
The Canadian Olympic team is shown displaying the Maple Leaf, they would not have done so as the Maple Leaf was NOT the Canadian National flag in 1924 and did not become so until Canada become a Dominion in 1931. -
pmiano100 — 13 years ago(August 18, 2012 05:03 PM)
In the WAR OF THE WORLDS, it opens when an alien ship lands on earth. A priest goes out to greet it carrying a stick with a white rag on attached to it. He is zapped. Does the priest really believe that a ship from outer space knows what a holy man is or that a stick with a white piece of cloth is a flag of truce?
The Titanic sank in 1912, Jack tells Rose he did sketches in France for a dime. The camera zooms in on the dime she is holding in her hand. Its a Roosevelt dime that wasnt minted until 1946.
Gen. George Patton is usually played by actors with rough, gravelly voices. Actually his voice was high-pitched.
Billy the Kid is almost always portrayed by actors way older than he was when he died.
This is also largely true of Col. George Custer, who was only 36 when he was killed.
George Washington is always portrayed as speaking with a definite New England accent in Stentorian tones. But coming from Virginia with little formal education, he would have spoken with a Southern accent.
The late Richard Basehart, a fine actor, played George Washington in a TV movie. Washington was 6'2", extremely tall for his time. He was often described as "the tallest man in the room." Basehart was only 5'9" and the shortest member of the cast.
50 year old Jimmy Stewart playing 25 year old Charles Lindbergh in "The Spirit of St. Louis"? Oh come now! No wonder it bombed.
In a horror movie I saw, two men are in a jeep. One is driving and the other is the passenger. They drive around a boulder. When they come out the other side, the passenger is now the driver and the driver is now the passenger.
In a soap opera I saw,the villain was carrying the unconscious heroine over his left shoulder. In the next scene he is carrying her down the stairs slung over his right shoulder.
The man is standing talking to a woman. Directly behind him you see the Mediterranean. The camera cuts to her. When it cuts back to the man, there is an apartment building behind him. Camera cuts to the woman, comes back to the man and magically there is the Mediterranean.
In "Commando" Arnold Schwarzeneggers goes into the jungle in search of his kidnapped daughter. All these elite troops are shooting at him. Not a single shooter is able to kill or even wound him, yet, he is able to hit every one that shoots at him. Hes better than John Wayne in a shootout.
After chasing down Sully, the yellow Porsche is totally wrecked on the left side. Then Arnie drives it away, and it's undamaged.
In the same picture, sentries don't move as their complex blows up around them and they burn to death. That's because if you look closer you will see they are poorly constructed dummies.
P.S. I Love You: After Gerry gets smacked in the face by the 'broken' suspender clasp, we see the silver clasp land under the dresser. Yet, when he's moaning and lifting his leg to get onto the bed, we can actually see the clasp still intact on the front suspender that came loose, which is dangling right behind him (just look between his legs). Of course, in the next shot, that clasp is gone. Since the silver clasp is a major plot point, this is dumb to say the least.
Terminator 3: When John and Catherine are in the hangar at the runway, the Cessna's tail number is N3035C. When the plane is shown in the air, the number is N3973F. When they land, the tail number has changed back to N3035C.
Spider-Man: When Mary Jane is being mugged by four men, Spider-Man throws two of the men into two windows behind Mary Jane. The shot then switches to Spider-Man clobbering the other two guys. When it cuts back to Mary Jane both windows are intact.
Die Another Day: "M" tells the CIA field chief that it is his fault a female mole (Agent Frost) got into MI6 because the CIA didn't know the North Korean agent and her agent (Frost) went to the same university. One: No son of a North Korean Army general would ever be admitted to an American university because he would never get a student visa. Two: It is the job of MI6 to vet their own agents, not the CIA's.
Bond lets the NKs capture him because the jump into the water is too high. But he has survived far more incredible stunts and Richard Kimble in "The Fugitive" survived a jump equally as high.
Why do we practically never see Bond reload his weapons although he fires hundreds of shots?
In the final fight scene on the plane between Jinx and Agent Frost, Jinx is slashed across her stomach, drawing blood. In a later scene, when Jinx and 007 are pouring diamonds over one another in the hut on the cliff her stomach is unblemished.
Grease: In the soda shop, the waitress turns off the lights with her elbow because her hands are full, but she misses the light switch by at least 6 inches.
I like to watch and enjoy movies, but there is usually something in the background that catches my eye:
In Meet Me In St. Louis, Judy Garland is singing the trolley song when one of the workers yells out, Hi Judy! -
Altho73 — 13 years ago(September 04, 2012 08:17 AM)
From the TV series Dads Army a classic comedy series but they did do some classic goofs-
During the series it is revealed that Captain Mainwaring had no medals or decorations because he had spent the whole of the First World War as an Army officer monitoring and undermining IRA operations in Ireland. Whilst this may have been the case for the first few years of the war he would certainly have been dispatched to the front in France in 1917/18 when there was a serious shortage of experienced officers.
In one episode when Sergeant Wilson, (who was also Captain Mainwarings Chief Clerk at the bank) was promoted to the Manager of a bank in another town, Mainwaring immediately promoted Private Pike to be the banks Chief Clerk. What sort of manager would appoint an immature and not particularly bright seventeen year boy to the important position of Chief Clerk?????
In another episode Mainwarings platoon were considerably harassed by a teenage Scottish boy who had been evacuated to Walmington on Sea to live with his uncle Willie. Why would anyone have been evacuated from Scotland to the South Coast of England, children were evacuated AWAY from the likely source of conflict rather than TOWARDS it.
From the recently released totally ridiculous movie Promethius
For an important space mission lasting several years you would have thought that an elite crew of hand-picked specialists would have been selected who would have been well briefed and well aquainted before the start of the misson. Yet here you had a mottly crew who seemed unmotivated, uninterested, unsuitable, had not even been briefed before waking from hibernation and did not even know each other.
The character of Elizabeth Shaw looked and behaved far more like a hippy chick rather than the distinguished scientist that she was supposed to be.
Why on earth did that biologist not exercise any caution and move away to a safe distance when he discovered and alien creature that looked like a king cobra rising from the water instead of trying to befriend it and calling it babe. Was the guy stupid or what????
Why on earth did that scientist who felt ill and woke up after a few hours sleep with an alien worm burrowing out of his eye not immediately go and see the medical department instead of dressing and going to work as normal and hoping it would go away?
After undergoing a caesarian, a serious and traumatic medical operation how on earth is Shaw in a condition to go running and jumping around, abseiling down a cliff face etc???? In real life she would have been confined to a hospital bed for several days and even with the strongest pain-killers would not have been able to walk.
In the Dr Who story Kinda
When Hindle the security officer goes insane and makes a series of irrational and dangerous decisions neither Dr Who or any of the others ever thought about the simple idea of knocking him out with a sharp blow to the head even though they had plenty of opportunities to do this particularly when Hindle has his back turned.
Richard Todds appearance as the space commanding officer resplendent in khaki uniform and pith helmet was more in line with a British Army officer in the days of the British Raj in India rather than a space commander exploring planets in the 30th century.
Also his bullying boss persona rather like a 1950s British Army sergeant major would have been totally out of line with the style of command and management in the 21st century let alone the 30th century.
Why did Nerys Hughess botanic scientist appear in what looked like a massage therapists uniform, again totally unsuited to her profession.
Why is it that undercover agents in movies nearly always try to compromise their situation with the following two major blunders
Hop into bed with the first girl who makes advances towards them within a few minutes and before the end of the film have done the same with a number of other girls as well. Has nobody ever told them that a honey trap is the oldest and often the most successful way of blowing their cover?????
Spend a considerable amount of their time in bars drinking and often getting totally drunk. Again has nobody ever told them that the more intoxicated you get the more likely you are to say something that does not fit in with your cover story or even tell someone that you are an undercover agent.
Also how is it that undercover agents often get to the root of a conspiracy, terrorist plot or major crime in a matter of days. In reality getting sufficient information to blow a spy ring, terrorist organisation or a crime syndicate can take months and even years.
In 1940s and 1950s detective movies why is it that the hero detective always appears dressed in the traditional detectives uniform of a trilby hat and trench coat even when the story is set in the sub tropical climate of Florida or the Mediterranean climate of California.
Why does Lt Columbo always wear his overcoat (on top of a suit jacket) indoors and outdoors when investigating cr -
pmiano100 — 13 years ago(September 17, 2012 05:44 AM)
I'm tired of:
Action heroes and heroines able to take on twenty opponents at once and win. In real life, they'd just the shoot the fool and be done with him/her.
James Bond, the most non-secret agent of them all. In real life, his enemies would just use a sniper and get it over with.
Films and TV shows that make American corporations the epitome of evil.
The use of albinos as villains. They deserve sympathy, not stereotypes.
American super-secret agents like Jason Bourne who never fight the bad guys because they're too busy fighting the CIA, another stock villain in Hollywood films and TV.
The glorification of Native American life and Native Americans as the first environmentalists and noble humanitarians.. They drove whole herds of buffaloes off cliffs, polluted water, and had hard, difficult lives even before the white man came. They also made war on each other, stole land from other tribes, and even had slaves before the whites arrived. They were no better and no worse than whites.
African-American male characters with hair on their chins and over their lips, but none on their heads.
Crazy American right-wing fanatic generals. In real life, they keep their politics to themselves until they retire, and those who don't are forced out.
Gay parents on TV and in movies who are so perfect, I wish they'd adopt me.
American actors playing British characters who are totally incapable of speaking with a proper British accent.
The glorification of lazy stoners and stupid slackers as superior to guys who dress decently, dedicate themselves to their schoolwork and jobs, and don't do drugs.
Worthless losers and bad boys who win the hearts of nice, beautiful girls from good families.
Movie/TV parents made out to be evil snobs because they don't want their daughters to marry these bums.
Sarcastic, comtemptuous, egotistical bitches being passed off as strong and independent women whom the sexist men can't accept.
Outer space creatures who are biological impossibilities.
Vampires and werewolves, good and bad.
Female characters (the American TV comedy "Broke Girls" is a notable exception)
who complain about their lousy, deadend jobs but live in large apartments with fantastic views and wear expensive clothes.
Movies and TV shows with a female lead who is mature, responsible, and successful, and a male lead who is a "lovable but exasperating" manchild.
Movies with Gerard Butler. He's really getting overexposed.
Movies where the only alternative the characters have to get justice is to break the law and steal.
American men being portrayed as inferior to European and Australian men.
"Inspirational" films where wise minority people show uptight white people what is good and right or teach them how to enjoy life.
Movies "based on true stories," that leave out important facts that show the hero/heroine was no saint and the so-called villain was no devil.
Private detectives who are never fooled by the femme fatales and are 10x better than the police officers who are always 10 steps behind them. -
Altho73 — 13 years ago(October 07, 2012 11:44 AM)
Just to show that all bad movies did not happen since the 1970s all of the following are from the far from classic 1946 version of The Big Sleep
There is no way that you can take seriously the idea of Humphrey Bogarts Marlowe being 38!!!!! He looked more like fifty.
It is also beyond belief to see every young woman that comes into contact with Marlowe (a short, overweight, badly dressed, grubby looking, unattractive, middle aged man) in this movie are overawed by him and fancy him. General Sternwoods two daughters, the librarian, the book shop girl, the taxi driver, the waitress etc all get gooey eyed and think he is gorgeous.Why??????????
In several scenes we see Marlowe drink ample amounts of hard liquor. How on earth does a private detective expect to remain calm and quick witted when under the influence of alcohol and how irresponsible of him to drive a car.
When Marlowe leaves Geigers bookshop he goes to the Acme bookshop across the road to gain more information the girl there gives him an exceptionally detailed description of Geiger (including his interest in antiques, his pencil moustache and glass eye, what time he arrives and leaves etc). How on earth would she have known all this????
Next is one of the worst ever movie clichs, the plain mousy looking bookshop girl removes her glasses and lets her tied back hair hang looses and suddenly she is drop dead gorgeous and Marlowes eyes nearly pop out of his head as he says Hello. OH PLEASE!!!!
When Marlowe tells her that he wants to tail Geiger when he leaves and asks the girl if he can hang around until then the girl readily agrees and she closes the shop for the rest of the afternoon while they share a bottle of whisky!!!! Didnt the thought that she could be in big trouble or could be fired if her boss found out ever cross this silly girls mind????
If anyone reading this puts a smug look on their face and says Maybe this girl was the proprietor of the shop, then ask yourself this. How many nineteen year old girls do you know that own bookshops?????
Also didnt it ever cross Marlowes mind that while he and this girl were preoccupied with giggling and drinking whisky that Mr Geiger could have suddenly slipped out of the door and gone home and evaded Marlowe. Is this guy supposed to be a detective or what???
But as you can guess the girl just happens to look out of the window at the very moment that Geiger is leaving and alerts Marlowe who dashes to the door and opens it by pushing the handle despite the fact that the girl had locked it earlier!!!!!
Whilst Marlowe (sitting outside in his car) hears gunshots coming from the inside of Geigers house he runs to the door and rushes inside. Now it is hardly very clever or sensible to rush into a house where someone is shooting but nothing happens to Marlowe.
After he discovers Geigers dead body on the floor and Carmen Sternwood high on drugs and spaced out Marlowe refrains from calling the police, removes Geigers notebook and leaves the scene of the crime taking Carmen with him. In doing this he has failed to report a murder, tampered with evidence and aided and abetted the escape of a possible murderer, crimes that would result in a heavy prison sentence. Why on earth would a private detective have done that???
After taking Carmen home and telling her sister Vivien to tell the police that she was home all last night he then returns to the scene of the crime only to find that Geigers body has now disappeared. Did he not even think that he was taking an appalling risk to return to the scene of a crime that he had failed to report
As if this wasnt enough he returns to the scene of the crime THREE more before the end of the movie
the first time he finds Carmen skulking in the bushes outside and when he enters the house mobster Eddie Mars just happens to call at that time. Isnt this a remarkable co-incidence?????
The second time he follows a gunman who has just shot Joe Brody and takes him into Geigers house and finds that Geigers body has now reappeared, so thins time he does calls the police telling them where to find the body and the killer. Does this make any sense????
The third time he arranges to meet Eddie Mars there (after Marss henchmen had knocked him out, kidnapped him and intended to have him killed). This is after the police have discovered the body, in which case the whole house should have been sealed off as a scene of crime for the forensic team to investigate but there was no indication that the house had ever been the scene of a crime.
At one point the police call Marlowe at his home at 2.00am telling him that they have found a car with a body in it in the river and they ask him if he wants to come to the crime scene with them. Why on earth would the Los Angeles police extend such an invitation to a private detective???
Marlowe hires a taxi to tail a fellow names Joe Brody who may be Geigers murderer. Naturally the taxi driver is an attractive woman who thinks that Marlowe is drop de -
alfa — 13 years ago(October 10, 2012 12:50 AM)
Running out of topics? There are so many errors and misunderstandings in this post that cross posting it to The Big Sleep board would get you run out of town. Carmen Sternwood's sister, for example, is Mrs Vivian Routledge in the film (there is no Charlotte) and Mrs Vivian Regan in the book - large chunks of her dialogue and most of her plotline are retained from the novel.
The Big Sleep has an unimpeachable writing pedigree. None better.
For someone claiming to be a panjandrum of movie cliche, par contre, you don't seem to know much about genre and nothing at all about Chandler's masterpiece. -
Squeeth2 — 13 years ago(October 10, 2012 04:13 AM)
There is no way that you can take seriously the idea of Humphrey Bogarts Marlowe being 38!!!!! He looked more like fifty.
It's a joke, reprised by Barry Humphries as Sir Les Patterson.
It is also beyond belief to see every young woman that comes into contact with Marlowe (a short, overweight, badly dressed, grubby looking, unattractive, middle aged man) in this movie are overawed by him and fancy him. General Sternwoods two daughters, the librarian, the book shop girl, the taxi driver, the waitress etc all get gooey eyed and think he is gorgeous.Why??????????
It's a joke, reprised by Warren Beatty in films like Lilith.
In several scenes we see Marlowe drink ample amounts of hard liquor. How on earth does a private detective expect to remain calm and quick witted when under the influence of alcohol and how irresponsible of him to drive a car.
It's a joke, reprised by Dean Martin in all his films.
When Marlowe leaves Geigers bookshop he goes to the Acme bookshop across the road to gain more information the girl there gives him an exceptionally detailed description of Geiger (including his interest in antiques, his pencil moustache and glass eye, what time he arrives and leaves etc). How on earth would she have known all this????
It's a joke, she's so gagging forrit, waiting to call Pablo Picasso an ace-ho.le that she stares at all the men.
Next is one of the worst ever movie clichs, the plain mousey looking bookshop girl removes her glasses and lets her tied back hair hang looses and suddenly she is drop dead gorgeous and Marlowes eyes nearly pop out of his head as he says Hello. OH PLEASE!!!!
It's a joke, anyone can see that she's a babe from the start.
When Marlowe tells her that he wants to tail Geiger when he leaves and asks the girl if he can hang around until then the girl readily agrees and she closes the shop for the rest of the afternoon while they share a bottle of whisky!!!! Didnt the thought that she could be in big trouble or could be fired if her boss found out ever cross this silly girls mind????
It's a joke, she's so gagging forrit, waiting for Pablo, that she'll shag Humphrey Bogart.
If anyone reading this puts a smug look on their face and says Maybe this girl was the proprietor of the shop, then ask yourself this. How many nineteen year old girls do you know that own bookshops?????
It's a joke, she's Daddy's Girl, not necessarily a Sternwood (Stern wood joke, geddit?).
Also didnt it ever cross Marlowes mind that while he and this girl were preoccupied with giggling and drinking whisky that Mr Geiger could have suddenly slipped out of the door and gone home and evaded Marlowe. Is this guy supposed to be a detective or what???
It's a joke, there's always tomorrow.
But as you can guess the girl just happens to look out of the window at the very moment that Geiger is leaving and alerts Marlowe who dashes to the door and opens it by pushing the handle despite the fact that the girl had locked it earlier!!!!!
It's a joke, foreshadowing and mirroring the scene at Geiger's house.
Whilst Marlowe (sitting outside in his car) hears gunshots coming from the inside of Geigers house he runs to the door and rushes inside. Now it is hardly very clever or sensible to rush into a house where someone is shooting but nothing happens to Marlowe.
It's a joke, Bogie is indestructible, especially when he's had a skinful.
After he discovers Geigers dead body on the floor and Carmen Sternwood high on drugs and spaced out Marlowe refrains from calling the police, removes Geigers notebook and leaves the scene of the crime taking Carmen with him. In doing this he has failed to report a murder, tampered with evidence and aided and abetted the escape of a possible murderer, crimes that would result in a heavy prison sentence. Why on earth would a private detective have done that???
It's a satirical joke, reminding us that America is a fascist's wet dream.
After taking Carmen home and telling her sister Vivien to tell the police that she was home all last night he then returns to the scene of the crime only to find that Geigers body has now disappeared. Did he not even think that he was taking an appalling risk to return to the scene of a crime that he had failed to report?
It's a satirical joke, as above.
As if this wasnt enough he returns to the scene of the crime THREE more before the end of the movie
the first time he finds Carmen skulking in the bushes outside and when he enters the house mobster Eddie Mars just happens to call at that time. Isnt this a remarkable co-incidence?????
It's a joke, Chandler was always using that deus ex machina.
The second time he follows a gunman who has just shot Joe Brody and takes him into Geigers house and finds that Geigers body has reappeared, so this time he does calls the police telling them where to find the body and the killer. Does this make any sense????
It's a joke, he's got a suspect who's a no-good-punk-kid-who's-all-washed-up-and-he-doesn't-even-know-it-yet who is also a -
pmiano100 — 13 years ago(November 01, 2012 02:33 AM)
Rest Assured in Movies and TV:
If a suspect has an alibi and says "Check it," the cop will respond, "I will."
Are cops so stupid as to think everyone is bluffing them?
If two new cop partners hate each other at the beginning, they will be good friends by the end.
If a man and a woman can't stand each other at the beginning, they will be lovers by the end.
If someone tells the hero "You're crazy" or "That's impossible," the hero will find someway to succeed in doing it, whatever it is.
If the hero escapes from the police to prove his innocence, he will succeed by the end usually get a new lover in the bargain.
No matter how obviously the hero is disguised, even his best friends and family will not recognize him.
If Clint Eastwood is in a gunfight with 13 crooks, he will kill them all even if he has only a total of 12 shots in his 2 revolvers and you never see him stop to reload.
If a father and his adult child are estranged at the beginning, they will be reconciled and loving at the end.
If a heroine is surrounded and threatened by four street punks twice her size, she will turn out to be a martial arts expert and kick their butts.
If the US general warns that an intergalactic alien is dangerous at the beginning, he will turn out to be wrong at the end. Just once I'd like him to turn out to be right.
If a poor or minority kid is accused of a crime, it will always turn out to be the spoiled rich white boy who really did it. (Possible repeat)
In a modern Western, the Native Americans/Indians will be kind, wise, decent, and peaceful, and the American soldiers will be cruel, stupid, mean, and warlike.
If a little kid warns adults of some great danger and the adults don't believe the kid, at the end it will turn out they should have listened.
If the kid doesn't like the new stepfather at the beginning, towards the end he will turn out to be some kind of psycho criminal and murderer.
If the hero is trapped in Nazi Germany and doesn't speak the language, he will meet a beautiful German girl who is anti-Nazi, and will risk everything to help him so she can fall in love with him. (If you believe modern films, there were more anti-Nazis in Germany fighting against Hitler than Nazis fighting for him. How did the Nazis manage to keep the war going for nearly 6 years?)
If the hero in a Western was a Confederate during the Civil War, any "Yankee" he meets will be brutal and inferior to him morally and every other way.
John Wayne will win, no matter what the odds.
Humphrey Bogart may fall in love with a woman, but he'll never be her patsy, even if she's as beautiful as Mary Astor in "The Maltese Falcon."
No matter how wimpy, weak, or whinny the hero/heroine, he/she will always rise to the occasion and win whatever needs winning.
John Travolta will smoke, no matter what the picture is about.
If there is only one survivor of a group, there's a 99% chance it will be the guy or woman whose name is first on the credits. If there are two, one will be a man and the other will be the woman who loves him. Recently, there have been exceptions to this one, and the movies haven't done well. We want the hero to survive and have a beautiful woman to survive with him.
No matter how unlikely or unsuited for each other a couple are, "true love" will triumph and they will end up together.Love conquers all! Now somebody get me a barf bag. -
Altho73 — 13 years ago(December 06, 2012 12:21 PM)
From Dagger of the Mind one of the most ridiculous episodes of the Columbo TV detective series
This episode of Columbo deviates from the normal settings of Los Angeles and shows Columbo visiting London (as a result of an exchange visit arranged between the LAPD and the Metropolitan Police) and guess what it immediately sinks into clichs by having Columbo being see in front of as many of Londons famous landmarks as possible.
This episode also gives as shallow and condescending a picture of London people as is possible, constantly displaying them as a combination of upper class twits and comical cockneys, the sort of stereotypes that would appear in a music hall show.
In most episodes Lt Columbo is shown to be an articulate and intelligent police officer with the ability to collect and gather evidence to solve a criminal case. Whilst he is often shown as being dim witted and bumbling it is an act that he puts on in order to make the criminals under-estimate his ability. So then why did this episode show him continually bumbling his way thru Heathrow airport continually getting on peoples nerves and causing havoc and appearing to be a complete idiot.
The murder victim in this episode is played by John Williams and he is killed after being hit by a jar of cold cream thrown by a woman played by Honor Blackman. Oh please!!!!! No one could be killed in this manner unless they had a serious medical condition and in any case that would not be murder but accidental death or manslaughter.
Richard Basehart (an American) plays and Englishman and his accent is so dreadful that nobody could seriously believe that he could possible be English. It seriously rivals Dick Van Dykes appalling accent in Mary Poppins.
The film makers should have known that in reality a Detective Chief Superintendent is the highest ranking detective in a British police force and is basically the Head of CID. Such people do not go around chasing after criminals and only take charge of individual cases if they very high profile.
In one part of the episode Columbo and the Detective Chief Superintendent have a conversation in close vicinity to the Big Ben clock tower and carry on talking in normal voices as the bell chimes. This would be impossible as the sound of the bell is deafening and they would barely be able to hear themselves think.
Columbo is only shown to be in London for a few days yet during that time he has a tour of London, the killing occurs, the autopsy is carried out, there is the funeral and there are a series of break-ins connected with the killing. Some of these events and their organisation etc would have taken several day and even weeks.
Why on earth would the London police let Columbo get involved in one of their cases????? Scotland Yard has a history and a reputation for dealing with and solving hundreds of real life crimes for over a hundred years so I think it is highly unlikely that Lt Columbo would be able to teach them anything!!!!!
In this episode the killers break into the house of the victim on at least two occasions after the killing, once to silence the butler who is threatening to give them away and once to recover evidence. Considering that the house is a crime scene where the police may well be still around this would be very unwise, yet this never crosses the minds of the killers.
Also the killers are shown breaking into the London Wax Museum (not Madam Tussauds as the company would have been refused permission to film there). They are not professionals yet they perform this task remarkably easily. Surely such an establishment would at least have had a burglar alarm?????
In the episode Lt Columbo refers to them as curtains but the English woman played by Honor Blackman calls them drapes. Surely in real life it would be the other way around with the American calling them drapes and the English woman curtains????
The British detectives are shown off duty going to the theatre, eating fish and chips out of newspapers and then spending time in a gentlemens club. These are not the common acts of London detectives, not even in the 1970s, but they are in Hollywood movies about London detectives.
And finally the killers are caught when they are unable to explain a piece of evidence which has been planted by Lt Columbo and they immediately confess. This not only is unethical but would result in a mis-trial being declared and would result in Columbo getting into serious trouble.
Also why on earth would the two killers just suddenly break down and confess so quickly???? If they had only remained silent then they would have got away with it and would have resulted in much embarrassment and trouble for Columbo and the London police.
From the film Witchfinder General starring Vincent Price -
This film has many depictions of witches being hung when in real life witches were traditionally burnt at the stake rather than being hung.
The real Mathew Hopkins acted as the Witchfinder General when he was in his twenties -
pmiano100 — 13 years ago(January 12, 2013 11:03 PM)
Dedicated to the dumberst non-cemedy TV spy show of them all, "The Man from UNCLE":
First off, an international organization in which an American and a Russian are teamed up during the height of the Cold War was utterly ridiculous.
UNCLE's headquarters was located in a "secret" location behind a tailor shop in New York City but was staffed by hundreds of men and women. No wonder their enemies, THRUSH, knew where they were and attacked them there many times. What small tailor shop would have so many people going in and out all day?
Why use a secret headquarters at all? The location of the CIA and MI6 are well known and out in the open. Even the location of the Russian SVR is public knowledge.
What kind of background vetting of its agents did UNCLE do? THRUSH agents infiltrated it and reached high levels of security clearance over a dozen times.
Alexander Waverly was way too old to be in charge of such a huge organization. Leo G. Carroll, who played him, was 78 when the show started.
The agents of UNCLE carried Walther P38K pistols that could switch from real bullets to sleep darts. That was technologically impossible in 1964.
Were Solo and Kuryakin the only competent agents in UNCLE? All the others failed to outfight the most common thugs, fell for the dumbest ploys, and never got the drop on criminals even when they had their guns out first.
Typical of the era, nearly every unmarried woman Solo worked with was beautiful and almost all of them fell in love with him, only to be gone and forgotten by the next week. Of course, ladies man Napoleon Solo never put the moves on married women.
How a short, needle-nosed, greasy-haired, arrogant putz like Robert Vaughn could be believable as a "chick magnet" is beyond comprehension.
A schtick early in the show was to use "ordinary" people to help UNCLE. How could they possibly trust these people to be up to the job and to keep quiet later? Also, these people were often far from "ordinary."
Solo would make wiseguy remarks when anyone was killed, even innocent bystanders. What kind of hero is that?
In the first year or two of the show, it was strongly implied that some villains would return, but almost none of them did.
THRUSH was constantly rent by rivalries, competition, plots, coups, and even murders in the organization. These were the people who wanted to rule the world because they thought humanity couldn't rule itself? The Mafia had more internal discipline.
THRUSH agents and officials referred to themselves as "renegades," a very negative term. Considering their ideology, they would never call themselves that.
In one episode, it appears that THRUSH murders all its employees after they retire to keep them quiet and save on pension benefits. But soon after, Kuryakin and Soto confront a retired THRUSH agent, at least 70, who is still loyal to THRUSH. What goes on?
Another episode had Martin Landau as a mad scientist for THRUSH who acted like Bela Lugosi and wanted to use electronically controlled bats to terrorize Europe. What organization would use such an obviously demented weirdo?
In another episode, the New York Mafia tried to ruin Las Vegas for not paying them their cut by dropping a giant stink bomb on it. Not only is this totally absurd, it is killing the goose that lays the golden egg.
Mafia gangsters were usually treated as comic opera villains in the show. This is odd considering that the Italian-American Mafia was at the height of its power in the early to mid sixties.
Again typical of the era, Solo and Kuryakin were often in mythical countries in Europe, Asia, and South America that didn't exist. Why?
All those gunfights and dead bodies all over the place, and the local police never got involved? Oh come now!
What did UNCLE do with the THRUSH agents and leaders it captured alive? The show never said.
High level THRUSH leaders would often go out in the field to run their operations. This is like Al Capone going out in the streets of Chicago to personlly supervise the St. Valentine's Day Massacre. In reality, like Capone, they'd be far away.
One of the most ridiculous plots was when a minor French presidential candidate stole nuclear missiles to destroy France's vinyards, an act that would kill millions because he thought wine and champagne were evil. He demanded respect for women and would not hit one, but his plot if successful would have killed many women and children. This is over the top to say the least.
A rip-off of the James Bonds films was plots featuring multi-billionaires with their weird plots to conquer the world. One even built a phony spaceship in an attempt to make the UN believe that an invincible alien race had named him to be ruler of earth on their behalf. Oh, come now!
Finally, obscure actors like Robert Vaughn and David MacCallum should have thanked their lucky stars for their roles. Instead they were constantly complaining on talk shows and to newspapers about what garbage it was and how they were only in it for the money so they cou -
Altho73 — 13 years ago(January 19, 2013 03:08 PM)
From the 1968 movie Where Eagles Dare starring Richard Burton and Clint Eastwood, one of the most ridiculous World War 2 movies ever made
Both Richard Burton and Clint Eastwood were in dire need of a haircut, they could never have passed off as British or American Army Officers during World War with their beatnik Sixties hairstyles and certainly NOT as Nazi officers.
Both of the female characters Mary and Heidi played by Mary Ure and Ingrid Pitt also looked completely out of place with their loose hanging, unkempt, tousled 1960s hairstyles, styles that would never have been worn and would have been considered scruffy by the fashion conscious and well groomed women of the 1940s.
Who in their right mind would even have considered sending a party of seven commandos on a mission to rescue a captured US General who was being held in an impregnable castle only accessible by means of a cable car and guarded by battalions of German soldiers in the heart of Nazi Germany.
Even worse is the fact that MI6 knew beforehand that THREE of the commandos were actually Nazi agents who would naturally be doing their utmost to ensure that the misson would fail. A party of seven commandos in which three were traitors seem to be a mugs game to me.
If this wasnt bad enough, it then gets even worse as two of the commandos are killed by the Nazi agents within the first few minutes of the film, leaving just Richard Burton and Clint Eastwood and the two girls with the three Nazi agents against them. How ridiculous can you get????
It gets even worse!!!!!! About half way thru the film we get to learn that there was no captured American General (he was in fact a US Army corporal masquerading as a General) and the whole mission to rescue him was a fake. The ACTUAL mission was to expose a number of German agents inside the British Intelligence services that they already knew about. Why on earth would anyone want to go to all that trouble when lengthy interrogations with psychological pressures could have exposed each one of them and would have been far easier.
Also in reality there is NO WAY that there would have been so many Nazi agents (the three on the mission, Colonel Turner, the lists in the notebooks etc) within the echelons of British Intelligence in 1944. Admiral Rolands statements that British Intelligence services were riddled with Nazi agents was ridiculous, Since the beginning or WW2 MI5 were totally ruthless and went to any lengths to detect, deceive and expose Nazi agents and were spectacularly successful in so doing that 90% of Nazi agents were detected and arrested within days of arriving in Britain.
Why was Mary Ures hairdresser, who was parachuted in with the rest and accompanied her from beginning to the end of the story never seen on film? (How do I know that her hairdresser was actually there? Well there had to be otherwise how on earth could Marys hair have withstood the strong winds and howling gales without ever looking windswept???
The whole operation was totally ridiculous, their capture, escape, cornering the Nazis and the spies in the interrogation room, Mary Ure getting a job in the castle, the shootouts, the booby trap bombs, the cable car fights, their escape etc, etc, etc. There is no way that all of those developments could have been planned, anticipated and successfully overcome.
When the Nazis arrest Richard Burton and Clint Eastwood as British spies they take them away in a car with a driver, an officer and only two guards and as expected their escape is childishly easy. There is no way the Nazis would have been so soft on British spies, in reality they would have handcuffed their hands behind their back, blindfolded them and thrown them into the back of a delivery truck with another truckload of armed guards following behind.
A typical machine gun fires around 500 bullets per minute and the MP40 has a magazine of 32 which would mean all the bullets would be used in approximately three seconds, yet Clint Eastwood managed to fire several bursts of up to a minute at a time without reloading.
Also the indiscriminate firing of a machine gun inside a medieval castle with thick stone walls would be very inadvisable as bullets that did not hit their target would ricochet everywhere, yet Clint Eastwood did this continuously without a single bullet ever ricocheting.
Also on several occasions Clint Eastwood stood up in the open on a stairway setting himself up as an easy target for the German soldiers, yet even though he stayed there for several minutes not one of the dozens of German soldiers managed to get anywhere near hitting him. Perhaps they had inadvertently loaded their weapons with blanks!!!!!
Also it is strange that all the grenades that the Germans used had exceptionally long fuses which enabled Burton and Eastwood to have plenty of time to move to their landing location, pick them up and throw them back at the Germans where they then exploded.
For Richard Burtons character to tell a group of -
pmiano100 — 13 years ago(February 03, 2013 10:35 AM)
From the 1978 movie Force Ten from Navarone another ridiculous WWII movie:
Continuity: When Captain Drazak arrives at the camp carrying the bodies of the bandaged men, he passes in front of the child. The child makes fun with his right hand, but in the next shot, from behind, the child uses his left hand.
Of course, everyone speaks English, even the most simple peasant.
Revealing: In one of the river flooding scenes after the dam bursts, you can see a modern day vehicle (most likely a pickup truck) for a few seconds on a highway next to the river.
Why did Weaver get on the plane with Force 10? For all he knew, the Rangers might throw him out over the Adriatic. Why didn't he just run away in the confusion? His chances of escape and survival would have been far better.
Factual error: The tanks used by the Germans are Russian; it's the T34.
Factual error: The Force 10 raiders finally manage to escape of the German ammunition depot by train. However, when the train leaves the tunnel and the men jump off the train the engine is a modern red and white electric locomotive. Only one problem: Electric trains did not exist in Yugoslavia until 10 years later.
The Chetniks were not one coherent group, as portrayed in the movie. There were in fact two opposing fractions: the first fought alongside the partisans, the others - founded by Kosta Pecanac (the featured group) cooperated with the Germans. Despite their public enmity, though, they still maintained good relations with each other, one of the facts which led to great confusion about the Chetniks among the Allies - probably the reason why they are portrayed here solely as 'bad guys'.
Of course the Partisans were Communists and no friends of the West, but this is never mentioned, except to call themselves "The People's Army.".
When Maritza shoots the German escort with her MP 40, there would have been an equal chance to hit the guys she was supposed to help; a weapon fired on full automatic would hardly miss any unintentional targets in a tight-knit group, no matter how good a shot you are. [If you watch closesly, you'll notice Harrison Ford and Robert Shaw are on their knees as they dig the hole, also Harrison Ford's character (Barnsby) rolls over onto his back and swing up at the guards with his shovel.
Both Mallory and Barnsby were way too old to be leading covert missions behind enemy lines.
When the Americans of Force 10 are killed in their plane, they are all sitting upright. This is totally unrealistic.
If Mallory recognized Lescovar immediately, as he should have, why didn't he kill him the first chance he got?
Lescovar had a number of chances to rat out the Partisans and Mallory. Why did he wait so long?
Why was Lescovar (Franco Nero), a German posing as a Yugoslav, speaking with an Italian accent?
Why were Mallory and his men so quick to completely trust Weaver? For all they knew he could have been a murderer. Even in the 40s, some black men were guilty criminals and not innocent victims of racism.
Maritza was killed by one 9mm Luger bullet in the back from Lescovar, but the good guys all believed she was killed by German aircraft strafing like the villain said. If that were true, she would have been riddled with heavy machine gun bullets, a much larger caliber making far bigger holes.
How predictable that of all the Americans in Force 10, only Weaver, Barnsby, and a sergeant played by an unknown character actor survived. Naturally the sergeant is quickly killed off. Neither of the Brits are touched.
Why did the American Rangers have to sneak into the Allied airfield and hijack their transport plane? It was totally unnecessary except as an excuse to get Weaver (Carl Weathers) into the movie.
Using Weaver was way too risky. Not only was he an accused criminal who might run out on them, as an African-American, he stood out way too much.
In the original, "The Guns of Navarone," Mallory spoke German fluently. In this film, he can't speak German at all. What's more, neither he nor Miller can speak Serbo-Croatian. What were they doing in the SOE?
Major Petrovich refuses to speak to Mallory alone because,"The People's army does not conduct military business in secret." Oh come now! The Communist countries and underground forces were the most security conscious of them all.
How could these brilliant commandos be so stupid as to be on the wrong side of the river when the dam was destroyed?
Miller said he couldn't destroy the bridge but he could destroy the dam and wash out the bridge. He gives no explanation why. If the bridge was so hard to blow up, wouldn't Barnsby have known that?
During the German assault, many Germans advance over the then-dry river bed. Why did they need the bridge at all? The Yugoslav Partisans must have had something that could knock out a tank's threads and block the bridge.
It doesn't seem that any Germans are killed when the dam is blown and the river bursts through. This is highly unlikely.
Barnsby can't seem to knock out Maritza, but -
Altho73 — 13 years ago(March 11, 2013 03:00 PM)
From the 2013 BBC TV miniseries Privates which follows a group of recruits undertaking military service basic training at an Army camp in Yorkshire in November 1960
The camp where the recruits are sent to is in Yorkshire during the month of November, a time when the weather would be very cold, damp and bleak yet in this series it is shown as being warm and sunny. In one episode the recruits are shown undressing and going into the sea and frolicking about, which they certainly would NOT have done.
The recruits are shown to be from a variety of different locations, Scotland, London and South Wales. There is no way that recruits from South Wales and London would ever have been sent to a basic training camp in Yorkshire, they would have been sent to one of the camps in the South.
One of the recruits is revealed to be from Northern Ireland!!! This would never have happened because for OBVIOUS reasons men from Northern Ireland were not inducted into the British Army for military service (not even during World War 2).
One of the recruits says that he is nineteen years old. In real life he could not have been because the intake of recruits selected for military service during 1960 would have composed of men born in the year 1939 and earlier.
Throughout the entire series the only officers and NCOs that the recruits encounter are a Captain who is the commanding officer of the camp, a sergeant and a corporal. This is far too few, in real life there would be a lieutenant, who would be their supervising officer, a sergeant major, another corporal and PT instructors as well.
Corporal Hobbs, the catering corporal is shown as running the entire catering function for the camp by himself!!!!! There is no way he could do this, in reality there would be a sergeant/cook in charge of the catering with a few corporals and a number of privates as well.
The recruits are shown wearing their dress uniforms continually during their first two weeks of basic training, on parade, during barracks inspection, carrying out their chores and even whilst out running and exercising etc. In reality they would wear PT kit for running and fatigues for everything else and would not have received their dress uniforms during the first two weeks.
One of the NCOs is shown as being unshaved and rather slovenly looking on more than one occasion, in real life basic training NCOs would always appear clean shaven, uniforms immaculate and shoes highly polished at all times to show an example to the recruits.
The recruits are frequently shown sitting around talking, smoking and singing in the barrack room and wandering around the camp by themselves. In reality they would not have had the time to do this and would be far too busy preparing for the frequent inspections and parades.
The series shows the development of a romance between Private Keenan and Connie a nurse in the camp. A qualified nurse would hardly be interested in a military service recruit and Keenan seems to be able to get to see her whenever he likes, frequently wandering in to the sick bay whilst she is at work and having secret dates with her in the evenings.
On parade the recruits are shown standing haphazardly and ridiculously with the tallest man standing right next to the shortest etc. In reality they would have been lined up in order of height with the tallest at the far left with the shortest on the far right.
In order to secure a quick release from military service two of the recruits put their names forward to stand as the Conservative candidate in an upcoming by-election and one of them is actually selected to to be the candidate!!!!! This is too ridiculous for words. Lists for candidates to stand in elections are drawn years in advance and there is no way that a major political party would select a 21 year old on military service who has only been a party member for a few days to be their candidate in an election.
As you would guess in the politically correct, left wing philosophy that controls much of the establishment in Britain today the heroes and good guys amongst the recruits are the pacifists and the left wingers.
Guess what, the villain of the piece amongst the recruits is the upper class, rich boy who always takes delight in thinking of himself as superior and frequently berates the others.
None of the Army regulars are particularly good or honourable men, the Captain is self important, selfish man who only cares for his Army career and pays little regard or interest in his wifes welfare, the sergeant is sneaky lecher who is having an affair with the captains wife behind his back and gets her pregnant, the corporal is a bullying thug who takes delight in mercilessly intimidating and hurting a member of the squad that he has taken a dislike to and the catering corporal is a lothario who in the past has got a girl pregnant and then disappeared leaving her to have a back street abortion.
In keeping with political correctness they had to bring in a character of mi