Best Line

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LeonardPine — 11 years ago(March 09, 2015 05:53 AM)

"Your very cheerful this morning Mr Fawlty"
"Yes, well one of the guests has just died!"
Was it a millionaire who said "Imagine no possessions"?

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med_chambers — 11 years ago(March 10, 2015 10:28 AM)

Mother - Intelligent boy, rather highly strung.
Fawlty - Yes, he should be.

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jcollie-1 — 11 years ago(March 13, 2015 06:32 PM)

"Read a lot of Oscar Wilde, do you, Roger?"
Killer line, that one! I use it myself whenever some pea-brain is trying - & failing - to be oh, so devilishly witty.

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PoppyTransfusion — 11 years ago(March 18, 2015 01:03 PM)

God you're ugly
There's nothing one can do short of putting straw in the room for people like you

or something to that effect.
I forget, even-cho-allee
There are so many, it's hard to pick but a few. The major's anecdote, totally non-pc, about wogs and n/ggers was hilarious too.
A bird sings and the mountain's silence deepens.

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billy_t_kid — 11 years ago(March 31, 2015 05:59 PM)

For me its:

"i think we are fresh out of Waldorfs"
"Well may i ask what you were expecting to see from the bedroom window of a Toquay hotel? Sidney Opera House? Hanging gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeast.."
"Mr Fawlty, I no longer want to work here"

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John_Dee_007 — 10 years ago(April 25, 2015 07:07 AM)

Sidney Opera House?
Sydney*
OCJOC

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ncdwbmk6 — 10 years ago(May 10, 2015 11:31 PM)

Ssspppoooooons
(from "The Hotel Inspectors")
You got your mind right, Luke?

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CatooProductionsVC — 10 years ago(May 24, 2015 01:31 PM)

No! No, I
won't
have that. There's a place in Eastbournewhat's it name?

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markbak76 — 10 years ago(July 05, 2015 03:42 AM)

Ducks off.
"Even a stopped clock gives the right time twice a day"

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dominic-paris — 10 years ago(July 07, 2015 11:17 AM)

"Oh, brilliantbrilliant! Is that what made Britain great?!" (Goes cross-eyed) "I'm tho thowwy, I made a mithtake?! What have you got for brains? Sponge cake?!"

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m_a_singer — 10 years ago(September 09, 2015 05:51 PM)

In "Basil the Rat," the very last time Sibyl says, "He's from Barcelona."

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PARTSDUDE — 10 years ago(October 30, 2015 01:38 PM)

When Basil said, "Is this a piece of your brain"? to Mrs. Richards, I lost it.

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somesunnyday — 10 years ago(February 04, 2016 01:12 AM)

The kid to Basil - "These eggs look like
you
laid them"
Colonel Hall introduces his rather short wife to Basil - "Don't get up"

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deem_bastille — 10 years ago(February 06, 2016 09:11 PM)

When I asked you to build me a wall, I was hoping that instead of just dumping the bricks in a pile, you might have found time to cement them together, you know, one on top of the other, in the traditional fashion.
I MEAN WHAT IS THE BLOODY POINT? I AM DOING IT, AREN'T I?
I'll put an ad in the papers: "Wanted, kind home for enormous savage rodent. Answers to the name of Sybil."
Oh God. Fortune vomits on my eiderdown once more.
Edmund Blackadder.

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drunkbear — 10 years ago(February 24, 2016 11:53 AM)

"Hello Fawlty Towers how are you ees nice day. Oh, ees you again. I tell you, he no here!" [waves the phone around the room so it can 'see' the absence of Basil]
"Yes, yes, men are hereyes, men are working" [to builders] "You WORK, men!" [back to the phone] "Que? Que? Sisi [to builders] "Please, which one ees Man With Beard?" [to phone] "Si, si, I tell heem, si." [to bearded man] "You are crepious u-ran-gu-tan."
"Well it's not my fault! He was supposed to wake me!"
"WHO was supposed to to wake you?!"
[brief pause]"It is my fault."
"MANWELL!!! I KNEW IT!!!"
"You may have come on no bicycle, but that does not say that you know everything."

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jonathan-m-stone — 10 years ago(February 24, 2016 02:26 PM)

"Wish it was an ingrowing tongue!".
"If the good Lord"."is mentioned once more I shall move you closer to him".

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drunkbear — 10 years ago(February 25, 2016 12:04 PM)

You mean 'The good Lard,' don't you?
"You may have come on no bicycle, but that does not say that you know everything."

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jonathan-m-stone — 10 years ago(February 25, 2016 12:05 PM)

I do indeed.

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CaptiveBoltPistolero — 9 years ago(April 08, 2016 08:32 AM)

"You are orally men." - Manuel

"One batch, two batchPenny and dime."

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nicholasjameslynch — 9 years ago(May 24, 2016 04:31 AM)

I believe number 12 is free, I'd like breakfast in bed at 10:30 that's eggs, bacon, sausage and tomato's, with a wardorf salad washed down with lashings of hot screwdriver!
This Basils wife, This Basil, This, smack on head.

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Best Line