Given his normal attitude, Neil was way over the top friendly to the little boy who brought the baseball up while he was
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Kragey — 12 years ago(July 17, 2013 09:51 PM)
I don't think so. I don't think they made it super-clear in the movie, but in the book, it's quite obvious that Eric's reaction to the way Neil treats that boy has nothing to do with it being "inappropriate." It's because Neil is such a jerk to everyone else. Eric expected Neil to be rude to the kid, like he would be with anybody else, but he was really sweet.
There are definitely some hallmarks of his relationship with Coach, like the stroking on the back of the head, but unlike a molester (who tends to get focused on/preoccupied with his target), he just brushes off the encounter with the kid. Eric gives him a weird look and he's like, "What? No big deal," and doesn't look at all flustered or guilty. He doesn't stare longingly after the kid or anything, just lets him walk away.
Also, it seems to me that Neil sees himself as the little boy in his sexual relationships. It's like he's trying to recreate his relationship with Coach. He goes for older men and spends most of his encounters being entirely on the receiving end. Even when he tops the one guy in NY, it seems to be because it's easy for him, all the work has been done for him, etche doesn't have to prep the guy or himself, just put on a condom and slide it in. Once again, he's like a little boy being guided through the motions.
You're a sexual Disneyland. -
samgslp — 12 years ago(September 03, 2013 12:15 AM)
I think that when Neil got beaten by the john, it was the moment that he connected the childhood experiences with pain. He had to feel physical pain to understand the emotional pain he had been harboring. Maybe that experience cements in his mind just how wrong it is to abuse a child, even if he has mixed feelings about his own experiences. Especially during the scene at the end, it seems like Neil actually does comprehend how extensive the damage is, and that was just from one experience unlike the many he had endured. My hope would be that a person like Neil doesn't do the same thing when he gets older. But the danger is that, without proper treatment (I guess just therapy and a lot of self reflection) he could. Like a poster mentioned above, he continually sees himself as a child in sexual relationships, which might mean that he'd seek out a child because he feels like he's on the same emotional level as them.
The very disturbing documentary Stevie deals with that very concept. It's another great film that takes this taboo subject and humanizes it, which I think is more effective than demonizing it. Cartoons are hard to take seriously. -
TRhett — 10 years ago(August 22, 2015 03:43 AM)
He's a man and has a penisobviously, he has to be put to death immediately just to be on the safe side.
I LITERALLY just spit the Pepsi I was drinking out of my nose! LOL!!! It seems there are many people out there who won't be happy until that day comes. -
Kragey — 12 years ago(October 24, 2013 09:07 PM)
Looked through my copy for this. I found the part where they watch porn together, and one of the scenes is a twinky young guy getting tied up, then saved by a stereotypical bear. There's also a mention of a variety of porn under the bed, but nothing about a guy hogtied in any of them. One is of a guy chained up, another is a younger guy giving a man a blowjob, and another is of a young guy in a group sex scenario with dubious consent. There's a reference to "young boys" and "preteens" who look obviously terrified, butsince those are the first-person-limited narrator's perceptions, and because these are in what appear to be published magazines, it's not unlikely that they're of-age actors picked for their youthful appearance.
It's creepy, but it doesn't necessarily prove that Neil is a child molester. Again, it's not uncommon for porn to take legal-aged actors and purposely make them look younger. Companies produce rape porn with actors pretending to be terrified, hurt, abused, etc all the time. Some people who watch rape/"fake child" porn may have some major issues, like Neil did with his molestation, but it doesn't mean they're actually going to abuse people.
You're a sexual Disneyland. -
stillkisseswith_saliva — 12 years ago(November 12, 2013 06:09 AM)
it's possible that he could but after realizing what brian had been going through for years & starting to come to grips with the reality of his own experience.. that they were used & not loved.. i don't think he would want to inflict that pain or confusion on another child.
plus if those are real porn magz they're not underage bc they couldn't've been published. thousands of porn stars male & female are popular & chosen bc of their youthful looks. they have ones specifically made to look super young.. small bodied, pigtails, sometimes they get braces, wear childish clothing, the works. just think of all the teacher/student classroom porn. they even have animated porn of very kids (it's legal bc it's animated or drawn). obviously not everyone or even most people who watch it would actually become a pedophile or harm a child in real life. & this instance especially.. just bc someone likes bondage (hot) & slender guys (cute) doesn't have anything to do with child porn. it's not like they're pictures of real 8 yr olds with old dudes. i'm not saying the older men with younger men thing might not remind him of the coach but that's completely different than having porn of actual children. -
rodcenray — 12 years ago(November 05, 2013 03:42 AM)
In the book Eric discovers that Neil has child pornography in the dresser drawer he always locks up. It has pre-teen boys with older men. The book pretty much confirms the boys are underage and not twinks.
Now, all that being said, do I think Neil could become a child molester too? That's a hard question to answer but I'd say no. Yes, he was looking at child pornography but I feel like it isn't just about the child but rather the innocence a child possesses. Maybe in his mind while he viewed the porn he imagined he and Coach doing stuff.
By the end of the book he does come to a realization about the true lasting effects of what happened and I feel like it made him finally open his eyes and see that where he may have enjoyed the experience and held it as something sacred it totally ruined Brian's life and stunted him emotionally. He came to realize it wasn't love. That Coach used them. I think that knowledge, seeing what Coach did through Brian, would be enough to deter him from ever molesting a child. -
neilmcks — 12 years ago(November 12, 2013 08:12 AM)
For all the people who read the book in a proper way it must be clear that Neil already had some kind of sexual feelings for older men before he was molested.
Neil just likes older men, simpel as that. What by the way of course doesn't justifies him getting abused by an older man, not at all.
But I can't really understand why some people here think that his desire for older men will turn all of a sudden in a desire for children. Its a bit a strange conclusion if you ask me.
The 'child pornography' he was looking at was more about the children he could identify with and the older men he could identify Coach and all his other older John's with. It has nothing to do with own feelings for children. Not at all.
Neil describes several times in the book in detail his preferance for older guys. Something totally different then pedophilia. Next to that the desire for older men maybe has something to do with the absence of a father (figure) in his life.
The case you often see with pedophiles, yes some are also abused as a child. But also get theirselfs at a very young age feelings for younger children. This is not the case in Neil's situation. If their would be a definition for Neil his sexual preferance you would more say he is just a gay guy who likes older men. Not at all uncommon in the gay scene.
So to answer the question. Will Neil molest boys too? No, he will not. 100% sure of that. -
Forlorn_Rage — 10 years ago(July 27, 2015 03:24 AM)
Excellent post! Couldn't have said it better myself!
Child pornography is brought up with Neil and some posters immediately throw all logic out the window; automatically thinking Neil= child molester, even though he specifically states he is attracted to MUCH OLDER MEN, not children. He sees himself in the position of the much younger boys with the older men, not the other way around. -
greenjae — 12 years ago(November 23, 2013 11:51 PM)
I've heard people say that the sexually abused children will be likely to grow up to commit sexual abuse. I think it's important to address this prevalent belief.
"while it is true that many (though by no means all) who sexually abuse children have histories of sexual abuse, it is NOT true that most boys who are sexually abused go on to sexually abuse others. "
source:
https://1in6.org/therapists-and-other-professionals/myths-facts/ -
knoxfan2008 — 12 years ago(November 29, 2013 10:39 AM)
^ Thank you for actually using reason in this thread.
Also people saying "yep he probably will", are being pretty moronic. The film showed pretty clearly that he wouldn't. The film also went to show that he is not gay because he was abused, yet his view towards sex has been modified heavily due to this experience. -
belinda-short — 12 years ago(February 11, 2014 12:13 AM)
When you are groomed the way that Neil was to enjoy it, there is a very real chance that you will grow up to think that nothing that happened was wrong.
In real life, there is a very real chance that someone who was molested in this way would continue this behavior unless something changed them. By the end of this movie, he realized that what had made him feel good actually hurt someone else. I very much doubt at that point that he would do that to another child. -
theunopeneddoor-697-442391 — 10 years ago(December 14, 2015 01:46 AM)
^BS.
A person who grows up to be a child molester must have both a genetic predisposition AND environment to make them a molester. They are both born AND made and like all mental problems it is not so simple as "this happened therefore you will act like that."
www.facebook.com/groups/ivegotyou -
theunopeneddoor-697-442391 — 10 years ago(December 14, 2015 01:48 AM)
No. He is attracted to OLDER MEN because of what happened to him. Also watch the scene at the baseball park again, it's clear there is nothing sexual there. Neil in fact shows little interest at all in the boy.
www.facebook.com/groups/ivegotyou -
InsecureNeuroticControlFreak — 10 years ago(February 17, 2016 12:39 PM)
I will say that Neil likely grew up with a skewed view on what healthy relationships with children are, but I do not in any way believe he will grow up to be a pedophile.
Sure, in the novel, he collects pornography involving children, but it's pornography of children and OLDER MEN, and I think it's because he fantasizes about what was done to him as a child. It's pretty clear what his attraction is: older, scruffier, strange men. That's quite the opposite of children.
Troll the respawn, Jeremy. -
knoxfan2008 — 9 years ago(September 11, 2016 06:48 AM)
The scene of him being super friendly to the boy was more his slightly warped perception of giving kids heaps of praise and attention, cause he remebers how nice that felt to him. It's definitely not any sign he'd go on to do it.
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red_rackham_77 — 9 years ago(February 13, 2017 05:44 PM)
What you said is the same thing when teenage girls engage in sex with a grown man and claims that they loved it and they loved them and worst of all they believe that they are loved by them.
Neil is a victim who doesn't realize that what happen to him wasn't love, his real home failed to give him the proper love he deserved and thanks to that he misinterprets child molestation and child rape as love.
He needs help and lots of it before he does follow what he was taught as a little boy, you teach a child to hate he will hate, you teach a child to bully and he becomes a bully but in Neil case he needs to be shown what happen to him wasn't love. I think he got it when he sees the reaction of Brian after telling him the whole story and maybe he now knows that deep down he is a victim.