Because the fangirlies can't get enough of it
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sinister_prog — 9 years ago(February 09, 2017 05:56 PM)
Part 3
IMDb member since December 2010
The team re-enter the pyramid and locate their dead friends. No protocols have apparently been put in place to deal with crew deaths. Everyone starts panicking like a headless chicken when a worm thing leaps out of a corpse mouth. Holloway suddenly falls really, really ill. There's no protocols to deal with that either. Everyone starts to abandon the pyramid.
Shaw then states she wants a medical team standing by the airlock, with a full quarantine failsafe. Who does this team consist of? I thought the actual medic was with them in the pyramid. Why was there no decontamination procedure in place when entering and exiting the Prometheus anyway? Considering we sterilised the Mars rover before we sent it you'd have thought it would be a standard, but hey, this movie makes such a farce of science that by this point it's hard to view it as anything other than a 150 million dollar Troma movie.
David meanwhile has found the bridge. He pushes some squishy buttons which are unlabelled at random and manages to activate the chair. He has a sit down. Accidentally he's triggered a hologram. (For all their advanced tech the Engineers haven't master full HD, their holograms are pretty lousy). A hologram engineer sits in the chair David is in and pushes the same squishy buttons David did. Weirdly this doesn't activate the chair for him or trigger a hologram. "Just push the damn buttons and wave your hands around" Ridley Scott yells from behind the camera as his muscle-bound actor performs this scene.
The hologram pushes lots of buttons and waves his hands over lights and it takes an age for anything to happen. Suddenly a sort of galactic hologram map appears. David wanders into the hologram and picks up the earth, because you can totally do that. This probably has some religious significance but I've not been inducted into the rolled-up trouser-leg brigade like Ridley, so couldn't tell you. David seems happy though, and even happier when he finds a live engineer. It cuts away. Presumably, from what is said later, David sits there pushing buttons and lights willy-nilly "figuring out the broad strokes" and this alien spaceship doesn't budge an inch.
Holloway is having a bad time of it and is having a serious bout of man-flu. Shaw wants to save him but Holloway has realised that he's a threat to the gene pool, literally, and begs to be flame-throwered. He poses like Christ because hey, religious movie, even though his sacrifice really isn't on a par and Charlize obliges by turning him into extra crispy Holloway wings. It's about damn time, I was getting bored with Mr "Tom Hardy was busy doing Batman so we got this guy instead".
Shaw falls suddenly pregnant. David has got back onto the ship and is suddenly the medical expert. He takes her cross off of her because hey, religious movie. He wants to put her into cryo. Is any of this in his orders? Wasn't Weyland after eternal life? What the hell has this subplot got to do with anything other than to give us a "virgin birth" sequence in the movie because this is all supposed to be terribly religiously profound.
Shaw is understandably upset. So she slugs some of her crewmates (who thoughtfully decide never to hold it against her when they recover, or ask about her alien baby) when they come to take her away and runs to a medibot thingy in Vicker's quarters. I should have mentioned that was there earlier, but my brain was occupied by other lunacy so it slipped my mind. The medibot thingy is male-only, because that's how these things are built in the future. Presumably it's there for Weyland.
Shaw has an abortion. Despite having her abdomen sliced open she seems remarkably able to engage in physical activity beyond this point. It's suggested by fans her meds are really potent future meds. I bet they are, everyone else in this movie seems to have been abusing future meds recreationally judging by their stupidity. The alien baby squid is then gassed. Which does absolutely bugger all to it. This is curious since the exploding engineer head I think was similarly treated and yet that cleared up that infection. But there's so many inconsistencies in what the alien goo can do that inconsistencies in how decontam treatments affect it are par for the course.
A zombie turns up and they stupidly open the doors so it can slaughter people willy nilly. Apparently the only weapon which works in the future are flamethrowers. Some expendable people who had little say die along with the idiot geologist whose second demise seems only too fitting considering what a dingbat he was.
Shaw stumbles into Weyland's chambers. David is washing his feet because it's in the Bible a few times. Nobody asks Shaw what's happened to her apart from David who has mastered deadpan sarcasm, an unusual skill for an android.
Janek stumbles out of a deleted scene to tell Shaw that this is a weapon's facility. Inviting the question as to why, exactly, the aliens told us where their weapon -
sinister_prog — 9 years ago(February 09, 2017 05:58 PM)
Part 4
All but four of the crew head into the pyramid with Weyland. Nobody seems surprised to see Weyland alive and nobody seems to want to tell him where to get off considering the, ummmm, umpteen deaths there's been already. Because when you're the money man everyone instantly obeys you, even if you want to do things which don't make sense.
The captain on the bridge, for the first time, decides to monkey with the hologram and reveal there is a ship in the pyramid. "Jesus Christ" says Theron, because we really can't hammer home enough this is a movie about religion. "It's a God Damn ship" concurs the captain, because look, it's funny cos it's true! It's a ship with which our "gods" are "damning" us. FFS, Ridley, go boil your head, please.
Meanwhile David is playing a flute, despite not being able to breathe. He's mastered this ship already because you can totally do that despite only certain things being labelled, random button pushing having no detrimental effects and there apparently being a full load of holograms which you can watch and learn how to pilot and navigate an alien spaceship.
Shaw figures out the Engineers were going to kill us. The implication it's because of Jesus as mentioned earlier. When these guys have a grudge, they really have a grudge.
They wake the Engineer. The Engineer doesn't seem terribly surprised to see us and instead seems kind of annoyed to have been woken up. You might think he'd be curious, but that's really expecting intelligence from this movie and you really should have had that expectation beaten out of you after what you've seen so far. No, the Engineer goes mad because an insane doddering old codger says he's a god and wants eternal life. (That might be the deleted scene version, if it is then in the theatrical cut the Engineer just flips out for no reason that actually seems reasonable). He kills people and lets Shaw run away. He must carry on with his 2000 year old mission! Because that's what you do. You don't check the time, or ask how long you've been out. You follow orders. Hey, that's the Nuremberg defence. Didn't work there either.
Vickers comes to her senses finally and realises they really ought to go home when she sees everyone die. Hooray Vickers, finally you got brains. Though not for long.
The Engineer climbs into the giant penis gun thing and presses buttons. David is supposed to know how to pilot the ship from this. And yet you can clearly see he can't see what the Engineer is pressing from where his head is lying on the floor.
Suddenly Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls appears. This causes Shaw to mutate into a parkour expert, despite her surgery. She talks to the ships captain and says he's got to stop the alien vessel reaching Earth.
Charlize is having none of it. She leaves. The crew members all pose like Jesus as they fly their ship into the ascending alien croissant. It's religion people. It's sacrifice. It's everything. It's a deeply profound Hollywood blockbuster isn't it? No. No it's stupid is what it is.
The croissant then falls. I must say here, the second time I watched this movie I watched it with an engineer. An engineer massively into aeronautical engineering. He can make your eyes glaze over with tech details about planes. The croissant crashes and, as my engineer chum points out, would actually have disintegrated on impact. It's taken a hit right on the weakest point of it's structure which has damaged it so it will fall. If it lands on the same point it will collapse. It doesn't because - science fail, okay one most people wouldn't spot, but it's still a science fail.
We're then treated to the ludicrous scene of it rolling. Which it really wouldn't do either. But Ridley thinks this is cool and he has the money so it rolls. Hundreds of people are screaming for the two girls to run to the side. Charlize doesn't. She gets squished. Hurry up and kill everyone else off, please.
Shaw goes to the lifeboat with 30 secs of air left. In the airlock she grabs a handful of tubes. What are these? Air I'm guessing, she was short of the stuff. Then she hears a noise. It's her baby squid. Except now it's a big squid. What? How? Why? Wasn't it dead? Oh ffs, pleeeaaasse make sense movie, it's not too much to ask is it? An Engineer appeared. His ship fell out of the sky, didn't exploderise on impact and he managed to get past the hold full of canisters of black goo which didn't break after a fall from altitude and yet will leak at the drop of a hat if you so much as breathe on them funny. How did he ? Oh screw it, it's nearly over.
He hunts her down, she sets a squid on him. He gets face-raped. She runs away. She has no food. There is a squid and an engineer in the life pod. David speaks to her. Can she come get him? Sure. She manages to get through a hold full of containers of black goo that apparently didn't break. She gets David's head. He tells her there are other ships.
She lugs his head and body to another ship. She has no food -
Phaenon — 7 years ago(January 13, 2019 01:21 PM)
A distinct lack of lovers if I remember correctly.
No Carrots, Knickers or Aspyxhoid to be seen anywhere
Shame as I would love to have read how Covenant was a gem, wrapped in another layer of gem and then another 3 just to make it evenmore beautiful from them all
Ding Dong
!
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Phaenon — 6 years ago(February 24, 2020 04:37 PM)
Nah, I saw that a thread on the subject of Batman's next opponent in a movie get to the top of GD and clicked on it. The thread was from the old scrap of IMDb, had a recent reply or two, and so found its way onto GD.
Wondering if that was something that happened after the servers crashing today I gave sinister's copy of Taud's incredibly reminiscent of my original (Which is missing) thread a bump but sadly no
The other Batman thread was on a main board called Superheroes and Villains and so must operate differently from movie legacy posts
Still, always nice to visit times when the Lovers thought they had a chance of success
Ding Dong
!
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Phaenon — 6 years ago(February 24, 2020 04:49 PM)
I am not, was not and will never be Taudarian Dazed
He even admitted to posting his "Prometheus, the movie they say makes sense" thread hours after I'd posted a very similar thread on the boards that day. He clearly put a lot of time into his and I'd spent longer than I should have into mine.
I don't think he or I would work hard over working smart
Plus, did you get any of that hermeneutics stuff he was into? I mean it sounded like it was based on something well thought out (Like Kaskait's elemental magic stuff) but I could never find it cited anywhere.
Crazy
but the good kind of crazy
Ding Dong
!
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— 6 years ago(February 24, 2020 05:08 PM)I honestly didn't talk to him much. He had mostly disappeared by the time I got there. Sploiter/strangeler/sinister/shart used to regularly bump this post.
I didn't find kaskait interesting on any level, in fact I think she was yet another mentally ill loon. -
Phaenon — 6 years ago(February 24, 2020 05:19 PM)
Kaskait was more interesting, to me at least, because she attempted to put something together to show why she thought Prometheus was an elevated cinematic event attempting to do something more than just tell a simple story on the screen.
I'm not saying she's right by any stretch but she gave it a swing which is a lot more than anyone else from that side ever did.
Taud was on the side of angels, and I'm not just being a cheeky boy when saying that. He just remembered that Satan and all of his gang were angels too and from there it went into the most atheistic mindset with huge swaths of biblical archetypes for stories to work presented in almost every successful movie. He could turn the first two Lethal Weapon movies into profound legacies of particular parts of the bible and, just when you thought he was absolute barkers, could present returns to the same out there notions that you'd need to be blind and squint to see in other parts of the story or series.
But with Prometheus he just saw a big pile of wank
Ding Dong
!
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— 6 years ago(February 24, 2020 05:59 PM)
She was most definitely on your side, iirc she hated the film and was mostly concerned with SRS and the Alchemy imagery giving him a successful film. Her predictions for A:C were completely off mind you and it's a shame we didn't get to see her eat her words.
She also had some crackpot ideas about Harry Potter, that if you thought he was a hero you were the kind of person who enjoyed torture in real life. That's just insanity of the Gleamy Jog/Shutter Island variety.
She was also pretty horrible to Beja and myself too but you may have missed that.