Platonic Spouses
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Archived from the IMDb Discussion Forums — Sex and Dating
CrystalRaindrops — 4 years ago(May 06, 2021 08:35 PM)
First came blood brothers, best friends who would solidify their bond by cutting themselves and swapping a bit of blood. Then came the tiny house besties, friends moving into adjoining tiny homes. (“Bestie Row” in Texas, for example.)
Today some people are taking their friendships a giant step further: They are platonically marrying each other, vowing to never leave each other’s side for better or for worse.
On Nov. 14, 2020 at Greenwood Hall in East Islip, N.Y., Jay Guercio and Krystle Purificato donned wedding gowns, walked down the aisle, exchanged rings and shared their first and only kiss. Ms. Purificato is in the process of changing her last name to Guercio.
“I want her to continue to be my best friend and my life partner,” said Ms. Guercio, a 23-year-old student studying professional communications at Farmingdale State College.
The besties, both queer and open to dating anyone but each other, met in 2011, and decided to get married in September. They sleep in the same bed but their relationship remains platonic.
Ms. Guercio and Ms. Purificato wanted to get married because they wanted to be legally and socially recognized as a family.
“We wanted the world to know we are each other’s go-to person in the world, and to be able to handle legal matters with the other appropriately,” Ms. Guercio said. “We are a couple, a unit and partners for life.”
Ms. Guercio said their marriage is stable, it’s long-lasting and it has no conditions.
There are no statistics about the number of platonic, best-friend marriages, and many people who are in them aren’t open about their situation. But chat boards on Reddit and within smaller asexual and aromantic communities have popped up recently, suggesting this could be a larger portion of the marriage population than numbers portray. (Asexual is defined as having little or no sexual attraction toward others; aromantic means having no desire for a romantic relationship. Hetero-monogamous is a sexual relationship between a man and a woman.)
“It should be acknowledged that we’ve really normalized heterosexual monogamous romantic relationships to the point of stigmatizing other kinds of relationships,” said Nick Bognar, a marriage and family therapist in Pasadena, Calif. “All of this is to say, I think this probably happens a lot, but people don’t talk about it much because their relationships are invalidated by others when they’re seen as not being part of the norm.”
Jullep Teah, 24, a call center representative in San Antonio, Texas, said she feels this way about her future wife, Ashley Roberts, 25, a direct support professional for the state of Texas. Ms. Teah, who is demisexual, plans to marry Ms. Roberts, who has been her best friend since the sixth grade. (Demisexual is defined as only being sexually attracted to someone with whom you have an emotional bond.) They already make all their financial decisions together. They have moved across the country twice together and are currently buying a home together. They share two dogs, and they’re not sure if they want children, but they may adopt in the future.
Ms. Teah said she has social anxiety, which makes it difficult for her to know anyone intimately — and she isn’t interested in romantic relationships. She said there’s more to marriage beyond sex and romance. Her emotional needs are fulfilled and she can’t imagine life without Ms. Roberts by her side.
“Meeting people is hard, getting a bond and romantic feelings is hard, and more and more young people are starting to realize that there are other benefits to marriage other than romantic love: I mean, isn’t the point to marry your best friend?” Ms. Teah said. “So why can’t it be your literal best friend?”
https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/01/fashion/weddings/from-best-friends-to-platonic-spouses.html -
Platonic_Caveman — 4 years ago(May 06, 2021 08:46 PM)
One more reason why same-sex marriage is a fraud. Marriage is designed for reproduction and child rearing. Any other use is just manipulating legal loopholes for benefits which single people are denied.
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TheSuperPoster — 4 years ago(May 06, 2021 10:51 PM)
Well, yeah?
One of my besties in high school made a promise with me that we'd get married for all the benefits if we were still single by the time we were 30.
I ended up getting married at 23, and same-sex marriage was legalized so he was able to marry his sweetheart (he's gay).
So, it never happened, but I understand the concept. -
Platonic_Caveman — 4 years ago(May 07, 2021 02:32 AM)
So you were gonna be his beard?
That's very common old school that a gay man and a lesbian (or a straight female friend) would marry as a cover to succeed in business. Even now the world is very homophobic and most gays and lesbians are closeted at work.
It's still a manipulation of the law though.
*I'm also able to be with my sweetheart. Fuck the government.
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Mina — 4 years ago(May 06, 2021 10:56 PM)
One more reason why same-sex marriage is a fraud. Marriage is designed for reproduction and child rearing. Any other use is just manipulating legal loopholes for benefits which single people are denied.
Yeah I'm with Lilith on this one. Relax, Caveman. Why don't you just tell your boyfriend that you don't want to be monogamous with him? Jeesh -
Afroman — 4 years ago(May 06, 2021 08:55 PM)
Ms. Guercio and Ms. Purificato wanted to get married because they wanted to be legally and socially recognized as a family.
They want to be recognized as a family when in fact they are not and the entire thing is fraudulent?
Fucking nuts.
Keep on smiling! -
TheAdlerian — 4 years ago(May 07, 2021 02:21 AM)
These people are crazy and neurotic liars and control freaks.
If you truly love someone be it a friend of sexual partner, you do not need any other validation. It just IS and the love bonds you together. You do not need to announce it or make it legal.
Getting married legally is fake and insecure. I do not need a legal contract for my best friend. I have known them for decades and there is no doubt.
I love the German band Rammstein and their song Du Hast is about this issue.
Du Hast means "You have" and it also means "You hate" in German depending on how you use it.
The song is about a guy saying he will not get married because it is forcing him to make vows. He already loves the woman, so why is she making him get married. So, he is saying "You already have me" but you must "hate me" at the same time. So, he will never swear allegiance to her.
No one has to swear to be Platonic friends or any kind of friends because friends to no do that to friends.
So, these people are liars. -
Platonic_Caveman — 4 years ago(May 07, 2021 04:57 AM)
I bow to no one on the fact that my same-sex union with my partner is as valid as that of any male/female couple.
But I do not try and manipulate the law and claim that my union is identical to that of a heterosexual couple. It's a fact that about 95% of married heterosexual couples have biological children together. It's also a fact that 0% of homosexual couples have biological children together.
Sameness does not equal equality.
This is why I have opposed gay marriage from the beginning.
I also like to call it "fey marriage" because I've noticed that only the weakest and most unmasculine gay males seems to be taking advantage of this farce.
It's also important to note that in jurisdictions where the government has tried to institute this charade, only 3% or less of adult homosexuals have taken the bait. Most gay couples have no interest in marriage.
What has been created is fully showcased in the OP. Two people who have no interest in being a couple and starting a family are just taking advantage of this as a loophole for tax advantages, to get government benefits, et al.
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Platonic_Caveman — 4 years ago(May 07, 2021 05:04 AM)
Read about the fraud in the OP and get back to me. Maybe I'll marry my Mexican gardener so he can become a citizen.
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Platonic_Caveman — 4 years ago(May 07, 2021 06:08 AM)
So governments are changing the ancient tradition called marriage so that me and my gardener can take advantages of loopholes and get government benefits?
Marriage was never designed so two buddies can scam the system.
Give single people the same rights as married people and do away with the whole farce!
The purpose of marriage is to build a foundation for a couple and their children, make fathers responsible for their children, and ensure inheritance rights. Again, 95% of married couples have biological children together.
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Schrodinger's Cat walks into a bar, and doesn't. 