Most favorite thing he ever said?
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mountain_walrus — 15 years ago(December 18, 2010 07:53 PM)
"The point is how do you know the 'Guarantee Fairy' isn't a crazy glue sniffer? Building model airplanes he says. Well, we're not buying it. Next thing you know your house is broken into and you're daughter's knocked up. I've seen it a hundred times." Tommy Boy
And
"You can get a good luck at a T bone by sticking your head up your butcher's a$$ but wouldn't you rather take the bull's word for it? . . . Wait, it's gotta be your bull." Tommy Boy
I will say that Almost Hero's is one of his under rated movies. It's flipping hilarious.
Almost Heroes:
"The buffalo is near now."
Wow you can tell that from sniffing its droppings?
"No. I can see the heard over there."
Then why are you . . . . ?
"Mmmmmmmmmmm" -
MacheteDontText — 15 years ago(December 21, 2010 02:08 PM)
SNL: "Hey Kristy, you're so stupid, that when they were giving out brains, you thought they were saying trains, so you got on a train and went for a ride."
Oh god, when he said that i was nearly crying from laughter at his delivery of that.
Machete don't text -
bonjovifan2000 — 15 years ago(February 15, 2011 09:28 AM)
^I saw that Gap Girls sketch on hulu last night! He was saying it to Sara Gilbert's Doughnut Hut character though. I couldn't stop laughing when he was saying that because it was so random and made absolutely no sense. When Chris was saying it, David Spade was looking at him, smiling and trying not to laugh.
Pretty much anything he said in Tommy Boy and the Matt Foley sketches are personal favorite of mine.
Tommy Boy highlights:
"Sinner." There's just something about the way he said it that makes it funny.
"Hey look boys and girls, it's Papa Smurf!"
"Fat guy in a little coatfat guy in a little coat!"
Matt Foley highlights:
"LIVIN' IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!"
"Hey, Dad! I can't see too good. Is that Bill Shakespeare over there?"
"Whoops-a-daisy, whoops-a-daisy. We'll have to clean that up later."
"Looks like Fido had a hand in this."
"You're using your paper not for writing, but for rolling doobies! You're gonna be doing a lot of doobie rolling when you're livin in a van down by the river!"
"You'll have plenty of time to live in a van down by the riverwhen you're livin in a van down by the river!"
Gap Girls highlights:
"LAY OFF ME, I'M STARVING! Heh-heh. Diet starts Monday!" -
jdml — 14 years ago(April 18, 2011 01:12 PM)
"I call this here fork Pittsburgh Nellie, a Welsh whore who could do things with her one good arm that would make you forget about that thing on her neck." Almost Heroes
And on SNL to Paul McCartney: "O-kay.. remember.. you remember when you were with The Beatles, and you were supposed to be dead, and, uh, there was all these clues, that, like, uh, you played some song backwards, and it'd say, like, 'Paul Is Dead', and, uh, everyone thought that you were dead? That was, um, a hoax, right?" -
giznad138 — 13 years ago(May 16, 2012 09:29 PM)
This right here always cracks me up. I remember seeing this scene in Tommy Boy back when the movie first came out and couldn't stop laughing about that one scene through the whole movie. It was great.
Farley breaks the car door and tries to fix it, so he finally gets it put back on, so he's just sitting there silently. Spade goes over and opens the door. The door falls off and Farley turns his head real fast, looks at Spade and says, "What'd you do?" I'm laughing right now, just thinking about that scene.
Takin' out the trash, trailer park style!! -
Joyously-Insane87 — 13 years ago(June 12, 2012 07:35 PM)
My favorite has to be in Dirty Work when they're at Mazetti's bar and Mitch says "Yeah, well, things could be worse, you know. I could have got my nose bit off by a Saigon whore!" then Jimmy slowly turns to face the camera and blows smoke from his cigarette, exposing his scarred nose and shouts "You bastard!" then Mitch says "Hey, I'm just messin' with you, Jimmy. I saw you down there. Hey, Mazetti, get Jimmy a beer on me." and Jimmy just laughs and says "Okay. It's all right." like nothing happend
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blisteringlogic — 12 years ago(May 27, 2013 05:46 AM)
Tommy: Fat guy in a little coat. Fat guy in a little coat.
Richard: Don't
Tommy: [singing] Fat guy in a little coat. / Fat guy in a little coat.
Richard: Take it off, Dickhead, I'm serious!
Tommy: Richard! What's happening?
[coat rips]
Tommy: Uh oh!
Classic Farley!!! -
kmay144 — 11 years ago(December 05, 2014 09:03 AM)
Tommy Boy is very quotable. Believe it or not though my favorite line is from Black Sheep, when he and Spade are playing checkers in the cabin
"Well, um, it's kind of easy to win when you, uh, NEVER MOVE YOUR BACK ROW, EVER!!"
RIP Chris, you were, and will always be, one of the best. -
rtf3310 — 11 years ago(March 10, 2015 05:49 AM)
Okie dokie, cmon! Son, I'd like to step away from this vector and get into a different coordinate pronto. There's no access for ya in this quadrant. Young fella, I'm gonna twist off your head and spike it onto the floors of a nightmare you can't even imagine! I will dance with you inside of the six-sided ring of fire, unless you move from this area far and fast NOW!
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landChowes — 10 years ago(April 15, 2015 08:15 AM)
Mine is something he said in an interview on a chat show, the clip is on youtube somewhere. He is asked about what he thinks before performing about how people perceive him, he replies with:
"I think, aaah man! They're gonna know im dumb!"
a brilliant moment. -
henryfinnegan — 10 years ago(August 19, 2015 02:20 AM)
Terrible film but in Beverly Hills Ninja when Chris is using his "perfect ninja sense memory" with Chris Rock driving and he drives into the car wash and he says " You've led us astray!" i don't know why but that makes me burst out laughing every time and its not even that funny.
Why is Jim treating the Magician Poorly? -
bigcat20 — 10 years ago(September 02, 2015 11:52 AM)
Probably his first appearance on Letterman. Dave asks him something about going off to college and Chris says in a serious voice, "Dave, the trouble continued," and Letterman just busts out laughing as did I.