Technically her husband is gay, but is he?
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Nocgirl72 — 18 years ago(October 19, 2007 10:43 AM)
This is a debate that can go on and on. Biologically, Candis is male.
MOST men would not date a transexual woman even one that looked this this. I find that many men that are interested in trans women have a fetish for it.
You can have all the surgery you want but you are still not 100% female and I am sure sex with a biological female is still more pleasureable, plus bio women can have children, trans cannot so this would be a deal breaker in many relationships.
I am not trying to be mean but I cannot figure out why a man would marry a transgendered woman when he can get a natural born woman the same.
"It's mercy, compassion, and forgiveness I lack; not rationality." -
BStruthandlogic — 18 years ago(October 19, 2007 07:52 PM)
Biologically some women are born with small breast and big noses. You can have all the surgery you want but you are still flat chested with a hook nose. NO! You now have big breasts and your nose has been shaped to your liking! Same with transsexuals. They are now what they want to be.
Maybe I am misunderstanding what you are saying but it sounds like what you are saying is that only a bio female can have children. What if bio woman cannot have children for whatever reason? Does that make her less of a woman? Does that give a man the right to divorce her?
I was raised to believe that if you love someone, REALLY love someone, all of that doesn't matter. You love them and they love you and that is a blessing.
If having children is so important, then maybe the couple should not be together or need to talk about having children before getting married so that they know where they stand with the other person should one or the other not be able to conceive and come up with a back up plan such as adoption or living their life childless.
Having children should not be the end-all be-all of a relationship and if it is, then it wasn't based on love to begin with.
Infertility isn't a reason for divorce either.
Regarding pleasurability, according to certain studies and interviews with transgender individuals and their partners, the pleasurability is high and they can't tell the difference.
Once again, although many disagree, a relationship based on love is a blessing!
I don't think dating a transsexual is so much a fetish as it is "this is who I/you/they/ he/she love/s".
A fetish implies that you can only get off if you know the other person has a particular feature you are attracted to and can only do so looking at that feature.
I think it is more about preference. Some people are attracted to blondes, some to tall people, chubby people, etc. However, their love is not based on that feature, it is based on the entire package. You are not your hair just like I am not my eyes or lips or feet.
I think it is about who you love. These men who date and marry transsexual women do so because this is whom they are attracted to.
It sounds like you are trying to be mean or maybe confused(no offense). I don't know but I don't want to offend you.
Candis Cayne is pretty on the outside and inside.
Doesn't someone like this deserve to be loved? I think they do.
Figuring out why a person would marry a transgendered individual is like trying to figure out why anyone would want to marry a peroxide blonde with implants when that person could get a natural born blonde with natural breasts the same. That is just who they love.
Am I explaining myself? -
margarita_carmen_cansino — 17 years ago(November 11, 2008 03:24 PM)
Yes, I would think him as technically gay as he's not really married to an actual woman, rather a man who has had surgery to appear like a woman. I would compare it to cars. It's like taking a toyota, tearing off all it's exterior identifying parts, and then covering it with the shell of a mercedes. It may look like a merce111cdes but the insides and engine are still a toyota. I would also say that any man who marries or dates transgender is gay but still likes the appearance of a woman. That's just my opinion
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bullitbear — 17 years ago(November 15, 2008 03:13 PM)
I think the moment any straight guy attracted to her looks heard Candis speak, he'd know what he was getting into. The voice (and in some cases, the accompanying adam's apple) in 90 percent of the transwomen out there betrays her biological sex. Another giveaway: The scenes in DSM where they are in bed and Candis is lying chest-down against Billy Baldwin's chest, you can see that this is a male back, there are really some broad (ie masculine) shoulders there, in relation to Baldwin's physique.
So, while a man who's into transwomen may not be gay in the traditional sense, they are at the very least what I would call "alternative" in their sexual proclivities. Here's an anecdote I found kind of mind-blowing: I used to live in Turkey and while I was there heard stories from my gay friends that they knew of lots of ubermacho men, the kind with families and the whole bit, who were actually gay and many of them liked to be penetrated. And who did they choose for that? Pre-op transsexual prostitutes. In fact i think most of the girls working the streets are still equipped with mail genitalia, partly because surgery is not as widely available as it is here, but mostly because, in the words of some, cutting it off would be bad for business. -
beckielboo — 17 years ago(December 10, 2008 09:26 PM)
I haven't read the rest here, I got inspired by yours. Incidentally, no one I've read so far appeared to be mean, it is a matter of understanding and you HAVE NAILED IT!
Let me explain - I have had what I've always jokingly referred to as 'recreational surgery'. I had a breast reduction when I was 32. I NEVER missed those big old jugs, they didn't even work when my only child was born. AND I've never considered myself to be a large-breasted-woman with small breasts.
You nailed it!
AND, I've also had gastric bypass. When I look in the mirror, I do NOT consider myself to be a big-old-fat-girl in a better body.
You nailed it!
I now understand that if a male-trannie came my way, I'd give HIM a chance, AND, you might be interested to know that I am 60 years old!
Now - to read the rest -
jeannyvere — 17 years ago(April 15, 2008 03:56 PM)
'I am not trying to be mean but I cannot figure out why a man would marry a transgendered woman when he can get a natural born woman the same'
I don't want to sound disrespectful to you but I find that a very ignorant thing to say. It's not about figuring out. If a man falls in love with a woman who happens to be a transgender than that's it. There ARE normal straight men (and not only with fetishes) who can fall in love with that kind of woman. For the same reasons as they could with a 'normal' woman: personality, looks
Would you actually go to a guy who has fallen in love with this woman and say, why don't you stop being in love with her because there are enough natural born women to fall in love with?
Plus, how can you be so sure that sex with a biological female is more pleasurable? I bet that Ms Cayne is a WAY better lover than many natural women out there!
I am Dutch and we have a (also beautiful) transgender woman here who gets LOTS of (sexual) attention by straigt men! -
mhellerman — 16 years ago(May 28, 2009 02:39 PM)
I got to this thread by chance, but I found it interesting!
I wanted to add that one important point is missing. When a man likes a transgendered woman, he likes all the exaggerated feminine traits of her. When he likes a real woman he has to put up with the bitching, pms, mood swimgs, etc (tell me about it, I AM a woman and very proud of it!).
Men - in their "real" fantasies want to be tended to and pleased, wheather it is by imagining that the woman LOVES nothing more than his d, than giving him a BJ, or than being ultra-passive so he can be the macho guy- or the opposite, being ultra-agressive (like the poster above talking about macho men liking to be penetrated, and specially by trannies, etc). So all these male fantasies revolve around imagining that the other person (man or woman) would be 100% devoted to THEIR pleasure. That is the kind of man that would like an "uber" woman (transexual).
A more "run of the mill" kind of guy will like a real woman, with all her complications, and even her dressing fromphy and non feminine many times ! While I don't doubt that maybe one "real" straight guy could go for a transgendered woman, it may happen and it may be real love on both parts, I do believe that 'most' of the heterosexual man that would think a transg. woman is ok is if they have their own "take" of what a woman is or should be or- as described by poster above- if she is UBER-feminize and attracts LOTS of SEXUAL attention- because they believe she will be attentive to THEIR needs (and maybe, having started as a man gives her more understanding of what a man wants after all!) - How many of the man you describe above look at the transgendered woman and envision giving HER oral sex???? Or really care about HER, as a human being and not a sexual fantasy, which would include REALLY taking in that she started as a man, not pretending that she is a woman and they don't want to think of the rest of the story
just some thoughts -
ToddyEnglish — 18 years ago(October 23, 2007 06:49 AM)
Candis was a full fledged "woman" when she met himMeaning that she had undergone full gender reassignment. She has no male genitalia, at all.
Now, add to the fact that she looks very much female (she transitioned beautifully. She's gorgeous)I could easily see how he would be attracted to her. What he saw before him was a womannot a man. Candis is not a man. She's a transgendered female.
So, her husband is straight. If Candis still had a penis then that would be questionable.
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