Actually Indians aren't racists till it comes for interracial marriages/dating. It's a very big deal in family if one of
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afro_747 — 17 years ago(September 01, 2008 08:40 PM)
To this day and age, Indian parents would not prefer for their child to marry outside of their own race
Okay, India has colorism and religious differences can also prevent out marriage but what about the 2000 lb gorilla on table; what about India casteism ?
As for Indians marrying blacks, that is also frowned upon by numerous families. African Americans are not given a good perception here in America everything you see about them has to do with crime, sex, drugs, thug, etc. There are very seldom blacks in America who actually don't fit into these categories.
Come on, people around the world see these horrid images of black people. And yet, some still manage to deal with blacks fairly. Filipinos marry blacks more than any other Asian. And, even those Filipinos who prefer to marry white can still talk to us like we are human being. They aren't free of colorism but they don't seem to follow it in a rigidly hateful way to blacks either. So, the question is,
why do certain other cultures e.g. Japanese, Asian Indians, buy into racist imagery so completely ?
Japanese have their own views of racial purity, ultra-nationalism, and supremacism. What do Asian Indians have ? Isn't the answer caste thinking, caste purity ? Isn't caste purity the basis reason for Hindu arranged marriages ? Come on.
Also, it's not just Indians disliking blacks, blacks also dislike Indians
Most blacks in America are barely aware of Asian Indians and not a few think of the Native American when you say Indian. But, I expect, as Indian hostility becomes clearer, many will become hostile in return. I expect that is what happened in Africa and Trinadad also. But, blacks have no established cultural bias for Asian Indians to drive any such hostility besides; no convictions of purity based on race or caste. -
yazmnsmom — 17 years ago(September 18, 2008 11:29 PM)
Wow my husband and I are a rarety! My husband is East Indian and I am African American. I've always wondered how many couples have our exact combination. You mostly see (if at all) an African American male and East Indian female, never or hardly ever, an African American female and East Indian Male.
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andsan3 — 17 years ago(September 23, 2008 05:25 PM)
Vazmnsmom, I'm there with you! I, too, am an African American female married to a Punjabi Indian (man of course) (smiles) from New Delhi and we've been married for six years with a gorgeous daughter! Rare, we definitely are and our families love each other. There were never really cultural issues and quite honestly, we are living a fantastic life. He's a Ph.D and so am I. I truly can't figure out all the "sometimes" explicit drama on this thread. Several years since the original post, it's apparently still going strong! Cheers to you and to me, for showing the world that although rare, we are here! Sending you peace and happiness your way!
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noir-male — 17 years ago(September 25, 2008 03:01 PM)
I dont know what the actual statistics are, but at least here in the United States, Id bet that the East Indian - Black American marriage is probably the least common of all interracial marriages. About 10 years ago I worked with a very beautiful East Indian woman who was married to a Black man and thats the only Black East Indian relationship that I know of personally.
Im surprised that no one has brought up the case of the Indian father who had his daughter in law assassinated because she was Black. The couple had a baby girl and they killed the mother in front of the baby.
The sadist part is that after his wife was killed, the son remarried (to an Indian female this time) and (the last I heard) had removed himself completely from his little daughter life. The mothers family adopted her, but she has to grow up without knowing her mother or father.
http://www.ajc.com/news/content/metro/atlanta/stories/2008/06/26/spark le_rai_contract_killing.html -
andsan3 — 17 years ago(September 26, 2008 03:44 AM)
I know exactly what you are referring to and that man and his son were some sick bastards! That guy didn't love the woman his dad had murdered because if he did, he would have done everything in his power to protect his murdered wife; especially knowing his dad was a racist and hateful son-of-a-bitch. Him fleeing from the US to go to India and marry his "own" validates he really didn't love the slain woman. In my opinion, he had a deranged fetish of our culture, the African American culture. This is highly degrading to our people and what we stand for and degrading to Sparkle's family. This woman was murdered in front of her infant child and his father hired hitmen to do just that. This pisses me off, hell yeah. I hope they both rot in hell for what they've done to Sparkle and her child.
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noir-male — 17 years ago(September 26, 2008 01:44 PM)
I find it hard to fault the new wife; from the accounts Ive read she didnt know about her husbands former wife or that he had a daughter. Id imagine with all the publicity surrounding the trail she would know by now. I wonder how she reacted when she found/finds out that shes married to a man who would abandon his own child.
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vinnychase — 17 years ago(October 05, 2008 11:49 AM)
I'm Indian/male and while my parents are not those conservative types that say no to any girl who is not Indian, I think that in the back of their minds they would be saying no if I ever dated a black girl. Personally I don't find black women attractive so they probably wouldn't need to worry about that, but I find it funny how my parent's probably wouldn't care if I dated a white girl. Probably because I have a quite a few family members/friends who are married to whites. And it really has nothing to do with skin tone either though, my entire family is light skinned to the point where people think we're either Italian/French, it's just I've never really been interested in black women.
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southpaw2k1 — 17 years ago(October 05, 2008 07:13 PM)
^What if the black woman has the complexion of Alicia Keys or Jasmine Guy? Would that be more acceptable? I'm just asking because, if a few family members of yours are married to whites, and almost all of them are light in tone, then maybe, it really does have to do with skin toneat least a
little
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yazmnsmom — 17 years ago(October 08, 2008 11:27 PM)
andsan3 Great to see your story!!! We have 3 georgeous children a daughter age 12 and two sons age 4 and 1. My husband's family comes from humble means. He is the only one of his family to make it here. They always accepted me, as well as the Indian community here locally. I'm sure there are some that have their opinions, but they've never been rude enough to say it. My husband went to and topped the number one Engineering College in India, many say one of the toughest in the world (IIT). Most Indians (at least the ones we've come in contact with) hold Education in high honor. I think their initial acceptance was in part because of this. My 12 year old is much like her father as well as my 4 year old both reading fluently by age 2. (I think the one year old is working on it). The 12 year old has already received a scholarship to take classes at our State College.. I think that broke the ice, but we have been married for almost 14 years so they know us well and don't care about our mix at all. Our children have grown together and race just isn't an issue. Peace and happiness back to you. I wonder how many others are out there?
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andsan3 — 17 years ago(October 09, 2008 03:46 PM)
Yazmnsmom, great hearing that you and your family are doing fantastic and from the looks of things, your children will certainly be successful. Our daughter (as well as myself) are learning Punjabi and we are becoming quite proficient! Everyone in my husband's family accepted me and we never had problems within the family with regards to our cultural differences. Within the community locally, everyone seems accepting yet I did, in the beginning, noticed the extended glances if you will. My response to that was "Take a pictureit will last longer." (smiles) Like your situation, nobody was ever rude enough to say anything directly to us. My husband's family also holds education in the highest honour. They always joke about two Ph.D's living in the same household! It's been a wonderful life, I have to honestly admit. I did meet one couple where we lived several years ago where the woman was African American and her husband from India. Very nice couple but I lost touch with them over the years. So there are more of our marriages out there just not in greater quantities. My father-in-law used to always tell my husband and I, "Ah, here comes my gorgeous African American daughter and handsome Indian son!" Rest his soul, he was such a loving man. Please keep in touch, Yazmnsmom. It's nice to hear from you and to also share our stories! Always, peace and happiness to you!
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countys32 — 17 years ago(January 28, 2009 12:09 PM)
Ive read a fair few of the post on this thread and yours and yazmnsmom are one of very few that have a nice positive tail but why pray tell was it important to mention you both were PhDs thats a very Indian thing to say because its bordering on showing off which really wasnt necessary and which Indians do anyway becuase they love showing off
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andsan3 — 17 years ago(January 28, 2009 01:15 PM)
Countys32, sharing that one is educated is not showing off. If you blatantly flash it around for the sake of placing others under you, then it's appropriate to say that an individual is "showing off". Aren't you a bit prejudicial in saying a comment is a very "Indian" thing to say? I don't know about you, but to me, that statement sounds very offensive and in poor taste/judgement.
I don't recall throwing any of this around nor do I recall Yazminsmom doing the same. Although I cannot speak for the poster, I am definitely going to speak for myself. A better choice of words for you would entail being all the wise without wrongly implying/immediately assuming that someone is, as you say, "showing off" because of an innocent statement with regards to one's academic status. -
likerash — 17 years ago(February 19, 2009 12:07 PM)
Interesting thread
Dougla children have really great skin complexion and their hair is wow, shiny and really nice, the children from what i see mainly stick to their black roots but it's interesting dougla children's dominant features are most of the time east indian, which is pretty weird
look @ my post history!!!!!!!