watered-down penicillin?
-
Altho73 — 18 years ago(September 02, 2007 10:18 AM)
When a special operations team is parachuted into Nazi Germany on a secret mission and the Germans capture one of the team they always use physical torture to extract information. Why do they never use psychological pressure or sodium pentathol.
At a German World War 2 prisoner of war camp why is every allied prisoner in the camp so keen to escape, particularly Air Force officers who have flown 15 bombing missions and if successful they would then have to fly another 15 missions over Germany.
In 'Where Eagles Dare' British Intelligence concocted an elaborate plan to parachute a special operations team including three known German spies into Germany on a mission in order to find out the name of their German controller in England. Why go to all this trouble, wouldn't it be easier to adminster the correct measure of sodium pentathol and just ask the spies for his name?
How do waiters at expensive restaurants always manage to find tables for people who claim they are VIP's when the restaurant is full.
The private detective Phillip Marlowe was whacked over the head with a wrench from behind at least twice on every case he became involved in. Why after four cases was he not confined to hospital with a brain haemorrage.
In the movie 'The Blackboard Jungle' all the teenage boys in school look around 30 plus, some even look older than the teachers.
When the (married) leading man is having an affair with the (married) leading lady they are careful to always meet in way out places. Why is it that they are never encountered by someone that knows one of them who just happens to stop off at a cafe there for lunch etc.
In movies that feature a hot-shot detective with a reputation for spending all his free time seducing as many women as possible why do the criminals never think of destroying his reputation by setting him up with a woman who will then file a charge that he has raped her.
In 'The Big Easy' Dennis Quaid's character is a police detective who is prosecuted for accepting bribes. His friends in the force then arrange for a powerful magnet to be placed next to the videotape containing the evidence against him. How convenient that the incriminating videotape was stored in such an easily accesable place. -
pmiano100 — 18 years ago(September 02, 2007 12:01 PM)
When a husband has an affair, it's usually because he's a bum. When a woman has an affair, it's always because her husband is no good, dull, or indifferent. Why is it the woman is never a bum?
In "Bridges of Madison County", we are expected to believe that a world-renowned photographer who has his pick of the most beautiful women in the world falls in love with a plain-looking farmer's wife with two kids and wants her to run off with him.
How come the Montecito Hotel-Casino in "Las Vegas" only has guests who are young, attractive, and fashionably dressed? Where are all the fat, middle-aged couples in ugly shorts from Iowa?
In college movies,lazy, drug-abusing slacker students all become millionaires, and the hard-working, ambitious students are all closet bigots who become losers and failures.
Crazy people in asylums are all wise and gentle souls tormented by a sadistic staff and an indifferent chief of staff. The patients always make it look like the people outside the the asylum are the dangerous nuts.
Crime labs all get instant, accurate results. In real life they can take weeks or months and the results are not always conclusive.
Why are all the Japanese officers in American WWII movies graduates of universities in California?
How do all these ordinary working class schlubs in the movies meet all these beautiful rich girls, let alone get them to marry them? In real life, rich girls go slumming with these guys and then marry guys with money like them. Rich guys are the same way with working class girls.
When the hero is shot point-blank in the chest, the bullet is always stopped by a coin or something else that would never stop a bullet in real life.
The maverick doctor is always right with his/her diagnosis no matter what the older, more experienced doctors say.
Beware if your car breaks down in a small town in the United States. The entire town will be involved in some kind of illegal conspiracy and you will be murdered to keep it secret. The only person with a conscience will be a young, beautiful, single woman who falls for the handsome hero who comes to investigate your "accidental" death. The handsome hero will outfight the entire town and expose everything with the help of the girl - the same girl who stood by and did nothing when you were murdered.
"Legally Blonde": A total ditz who makes Paris Hilton look like Madame Curie turns out to be a closet genius who gets into America's best law school and graduates with honors.
Dad wants the kid to go to business or law school but the kid wants to be a rock musician (or whatever). Naturally the kid succeeds and becomes a super-star. He/she never fails and humbled, admits the father was right and goes back to school.
Why does every evangelical minister or conservative politician turn out to be a hypocrite or a criminal? How come a liberal never does anything wrong?
My personal favorite. A bunch of good guys are outnumbered and surrounded by bad guys. One of the good guys panics and screams, "We're all gonna die!" The leader of the good guys punches him. He always says, "Thanks, I needed that." He never says, "We're all gonna die - and now my jaw hurts too!"
Personal Notes: Did you ever see "Purple Rose of Cairo" ? Also, tell me if I've repeated myself and I'll edit it. You realize of course, that at the rate we're going, we could probably co-write a successful novelty book that would make it on the Non-Fiction Best Sellers List. A former English professor of mine once told me there were only 20 basic plots and everything else was a variation or composite of them. Boy, she didn't know the half of it. -
Altho73 — 18 years ago(September 03, 2007 01:55 PM)
In 'North by Northwest' when the bellboy is paging Mr Kaplan, Cary Grant approaches him on another matter and the bad guys think 'That's Kaplan, let's get him'. But wouldn't the boy have continued to page Mr Kaplan after he had finished with Cary Grant.
Whenever a team of master criminals plan the perfect robbery, they execute it perfectly, everything goes to plan and they have got away with it and the police are clueless, why do they then spoil everything by fighting amongst themeselves.
In movies set on board sailing ships in the eighteenth/nineteenth century a sadistic captain always has almost every crew member flogged to within an inch of their life. Most of these men would take weeks to recover and some never would, so how are there still enough crew around to sail the ship.
In gunfights in westerns why do all the bad guys die instantly after they have been hit with a bullet, yet the heroes writhe about on the floor and get up again several times before they finally die.
How come that people who hire hit men to kill their wife/business partner /blackmailer etc always have a stash of instant cash available to pay the hit man, and the police never think of checking their bank account for large cash sum withdrawals.
In Western saloon bar fistfights most of the participants are smashed over the head by chairs, tables etc several times, get thrown through the air and crash along the top of the bar, get bottles smashed over their heads several times yet still manage to carry on fighting for another ten minutes or so.
In 'Good Morning Vietnam' the Robin Williams character is continually warned about his conduct yet carries on with outrageous behavior throughout the film. Fairly early on he is told not to play certain types of music, yet he carries on doing so and nobody pulls the plug to take him off the air.
In just about every John Ford Western there is an Irish character called Quincannon.
In every American film about the Irish rebellion, every Irish rebel is portrayed as doing what is right and necessary and every English Army officer is portrayed as a cartoon type sadistic bad guy.
Why is it always right wing nuts that attempt to overthrow the US Government for their softness on communism, and you always have a liberal President who resists the coup and says, 'I agree with you, I know these commies are bad guys, but we've got to live with them'.
Whenever some poor guy in a dead end job on low income suddenly decides he wants to be a doctor/lawyer/engineer etc he automatically becomes one without the need for qualifications, knowledge etc.
How come that Laurel and Hardy sometimes have wives, other times are single men, then have wives again without any continuity?
How come that idiotic characters like Jerry Lewis, Stan Laurel, Lou Costello etc never do one thing right?
''Personal Notes: Did you ever see "Purple Rose of Cairo" ?''
Strangely enough, no I haven't, it one of those films that I always miss for one reason or another, but I'll see it some day.
'Also, tell me if I've repeated myself and I'll edit it.'
We both probably have,
'When a husband has an affair, it's usually because he's a bum. When a woman has an affair, it's always because her husband is no good, dull, or indifferent. Why is it the woman is never a bum?'
I think you may have said that one before, but don't take my word for it.
In the meantime let's carry on for as long as we can. -
pmiano100 — 18 years ago(September 03, 2007 04:22 PM)
So be it. Look very carefully at my last entry:
Tired of the heroine's games, the hero picks up the heroine, carries her to the bed, throws her on it, jumps on top of her, and kisses her passionately. She resists at first, but slowly gives in and starts getting as passionate as him. In the morning, she's smiling and humming. How come she never charges him with rape?
Why do people freely tell private detectives things they never told the police?
Why are Italian military officers in American WWII films never cruel and sadistic like so many Germans and Japanese?
Sixty-two years after WWII ended, why are neo-Nazis are still the biggest terrorist threat in movies?
Why is it, no matter how long the hero's fight with the bad guys, the cops always arrive after it's over? Who called them is rarely explained.
When a team of soldiers/spies/cops/detectives have a mission, one of them always has the needed skill or tool, no matter how rare or oddball.
In "Mission Impossible," how is it the bad guy being impersonated is always the same height and buld as Martin Landau/Leonard Nemoy/Thao Penghliss?
In modern-day war films, why is it the military super-technology always works without a hitch?
Why is it when the heroine is chased by the villain she makes it to her car, but it won't start until he almost grabs her? It was working fine before.
Why does a working class American girl in Europe always grabs a rich European guy but a rich European girl always gets a working class American guy?
Hercule Poirot is called in to solve a series of murders. Considering his reputation, why doesn't the murderer kill him and not take any chances?
In "Dr. Quinn: Medicine Woman," the minorities were always right and the whites were always wrong.
Why doesn't the nice Catholic school girl ever run fast and far when she finds out the punk she's attracted to has a police record?
In the recent TV film, "The Murder of Princess Diana," a French police detective is beaten half to death. He drags himself to his apartment instead of to the nearest ER, and 30 seconds after getting there is having hot sex with his American girlfriend.
Why are so many master criminals in American movies British?
Whenever the hero cop/PI is called in, an accident is never an accident, and a suicide is never a suicide. It's always murder and he always catches the killer.
Why does the private eye find out his client is the murderer so often? Why do the idiots hire him in the first place?
A likable if somewhat naive hero looks into the death of an old friend. The old friend turns out to be alive, and also a criminal and a murderer as well. The likable hero winds up having to kill his old friend. Wait a minute!! That's the plot to "The Third Man!!" -
Altho73 — 18 years ago(September 04, 2007 01:09 PM)
When an idealistic new teacher straight out of college arrives at a tough, inner city school he/she always has big ideas about how he/she is going to bring hope to these kids,change the way they think and make them into model citizens.
The new teacher is rejected, made fun of, assaulted etc several times but never gives up and just before the end of the movie does something relatively minor and the tough kids suddenly decide, 'hey this guy/gal has got something, let's give up crime and be nice guys'.
An innocent man who is jailed and locked up for years in a hell hole prison always looks in remarkably good health when his innocence is finally proven and he is released.
In musicals of the forties and fifties the small town boy is going to marry the girl next door, but something always happens that causes him to lose her, but she always comes back to him just before the end of the movie.
When hostile aliens land on earth intent on taking over, why are the scientists always the clever ones and the military top brass always the gung ho, trigger happy buffoons.
In movies like 'When Worlds Collide' that promise global catastrophe within months how come that the scientists making these predictions are always right. (In reality they can't even decide whether eating certain foods are good or bad for you)
In a murder thriller that occurs in a big city it always becomes a necessity for the investigating detective to visit a strip club.
In all movies set in Ireland (particulary if directed by John Ford) why are all the men in Ireland depicted as jolly, laughing, singing etc who spend all of their spare time in a bar.
Why in so many John Ford movies do the leading men only become close friends after they have fought each other in a mammoth fist fight.
In disaster movies why do the earthquakes, volcanoes, fires, hurricanes etc always take the lives of the most despicable characters while the paragons of virtue always survive.
When a good looking stranger fancies a married housewife how come that time after time he manages to bed her in her bedroom. What exactly is the husband doing every time this happens.
In Vietnam movies why do all the recruits drafted into the army/marines turn up at boot camp looking like hippies. -
pmiano100 — 18 years ago(September 04, 2007 01:54 PM)
In disaster films, how come every little boy has a dog, and the kid and the dog never die?
Why are hippies always portrayed sympathetically instead of being shown as the lazy, cowardly, stoners so many of them were?
Why are there no other foreigners besides Irishmen in the US Cavalry in a John Ford Western? Where are the Germans, Scots, Poles, Germans, Mexicans, Swedes, and others?
Do people who fall in love during disasters and hostage situations really stay together and get married after it's all over?
Why is the Italian-American guy in a WWII film always a gambler and a black marketeer? Why is he always the one guy in the squad who doesn't want to attack the isolated farmhouse?
In modern-day films about 1930s gangsters, why do the Irish always beat the Italians in gang wars when they actually lost in real life?
In a typical 40s Mickey Rooney film, the answer to everything is, "Hey, kids -Let's put on a show!" How one small town can be filled with so many kids who can perform as professional-level singers, dancers, and musicians is beyond me.
If James Bond is such a terrible threat and dangerous foe, why don't they simply use a sniper with a high-powered rifle equipped with a telescopic sight? Surely SPECTRE or Smersh must have someone good enough to take the shot.
Also, what kind of secret agent is known to every villain he fights? The ones in movies and on TV, that's what kind.
The hero is full of rage and wants to kill the helpless villain he has overpowered. "Stop!" says the buddy or love interest. Then they say,"He's not worth it!" or "You'll be no better than him." The hero always stops. He never says, "Yes he is (worth it)", or "I could kill 100 like him and not be as bad as him," and then kills the villain.
How come the Health Department never condemns the Addams Family home? -
Altho73 — 18 years ago(September 05, 2007 02:10 PM)
In the Basil Rathbone/Nigel Bruce Sherlock Holmes series Professor Moriarty is killed by Holmes in a 1939 film but reappears in a 1942 film is killed again but reappears in a 1945 film. How many times does Holmes have to kill him before he will die?
The first Moriarty was around 6'2" and 170 lbs, the second Moriarty was around 5'6" and 230 lbs and the third Moriarty was again around 6'2" but more muscular and broad shouldered. I know he was a master of disguise but this is way over the top!
In 'The Manchurian Candidate' 1962 the Soviet Union went to the trouble of capturing an entire US army patrol, brainwashing them all, setting up one GI to win a Medal of Honor, brainwashing him to be an assassin, setting him up with a high position, murdering his employer to enable him to get higher, arranging for him to marry a Senator's daughter all in order for him to assassinate a politician. Wouldn't it be easier to have hired a professional contract killer?
All assassination attempts in movies end with the assassin being killed or captured seconds before he is due to murder the intended target.
In 'Chinatown' Roman Polanski's hoodlum slits Jack Nicholson's nose with a switchblade knife so that he collapses in a pool of blood. Yet remarkably 24 hours later his nose is fine.
In 'Titanic' 1997 Kate Winslett's character is a genteel, aristocratic English lady, yet she behaves more like a foul mouthed, binge drinking, 21st century spoilt teenager, at one point delivering a full blooded punch into a ship's officer's face.
In 'Hell Drivers' a gang of roughneck truck drivers compete against each other to deliver the most truckloads in a day. They constantly drive like maniacs, exceeding the speed limits, endangering the lives of people and children, intimidating other drivers along the same roads several times a day, day after day, week after week. No one ever complains about them and the police are never to be seen, none of them are ever charged for dangerous driving.
In movies people who run dodgy businesses selling poor quality equipment quite openly are never visited by the IRS.
Heavy drinking cops constantly down bourbon in their cars, but never crash due to drunken driving and are never disciplined despite stinking of alcohol.
Whenever someone arrives at a hotel and asks the desk clerk, 'I'd like to see Mr Johnson please', the desk clerk always replies, 'He's in room 1418, go straight up' without ever asking for the visitor's name or checking with Mr Johnson if it's all right to send him up.
In 'The Road' movies Dorothy Lamour always plumps for Bing Crosby despite the fact that he's a short, skinny, unattractive man and is always a double crossing, cheating creep. -
pmiano100 — 18 years ago(September 05, 2007 07:49 PM)
In the old horror films, the villagers always march on the castle, torches lit, just as a life and death struggle is going on between the hero and the monster.
Also, considering they're usually after the Frankenstein monster, why don't they call in the police or carry shotguns instead of pitchforks?
Why do war veterans wait 15-20 years before gathering in a hotel room to take revenge on the former comrade who betrayed them? Why didn't they turn him in to the military police when they had the chance?
An embittered ex-GI takes revenge on the members of his old unit, killing them one by one. Why does he always save the hero, the one with the best chance of stopping him, for last? And how is it the hero is always blameless?
In American war films, why are the Southern white characters always morons?
Only in movies or television are most murderers rich, middle-aged white men.
In British TV shows, why is the American man almost always the guilty one, or at least a very unlikable person?
In murder mysteries, why are the cheating wives of the victims almost always childless?
Why do married people on TV or movies almost never get along with their in-laws?
While do private detectives in movies and TV get away with break-ins, assaults, criminal impersonations, and dozens of other crimes without ever facing charges or even losing their licenses?
Why haven't Dennis the Menace's parents put him on Ritalin yet?
Why are TV/movie parents always taller than their children, even when the the children are in their late teens or twenties? People are getting taller, not shorter.
On the Cold Case TV show, why is the Vietnam veteran always the murderer?
Why do TV/movie fathers with black hair and mothers with blonde hair have children with red hair, or otherwise look absolutely nothing like either of them?
When Tarzan swings on vines, how come they're not covered with insects like they are in real life? And what are lions doing in jungles, when they actually live on the grassy plains?
How come fleeing criminal gangs almost always kidnap the beautiful wife or child of a former elite super-soldier combat veteran or a tough super-cop, instead of an ordinary man?
Why are all the daughters who hire the PI hero to find their missing fathers young, beautiful, and single?
Why do most TV/movie hookers wear expensive looking, if trashy, clothes, even if the're streetwalkers who are usually addicts?
Why are criminal suspects brought to trial so quickly in movies and TV? In real life it usually takes months or even years.
In "Rio Lobo", John Wayne and the other cowboys are shown carrying Colt .45 Peacemaker revolvers and Winchester repeating rifles in 1865. Neither weapon was invented until 1873.
How come girls with two suitors always wind up preferring the poor one to the rich one? Why is the poor guy always so nice and the rich guy always so rotten? -
Altho73 — 18 years ago(September 06, 2007 02:37 PM)
In 'Wings of Eagles' the Navy (led by John Wayne) and the Army (led by Kenneth Tobey) engage in several mammoth fist fights without anyone ever being seriously injured, crippled etc and the top brass never take serious disciplinary action against them.
In 'The Mountain' Spencer Tracy and Robert Wagner play brothers, yet Tracy looks around 65 and Wagner around 22. Why couldn't they have made them grandfather and grandson or at least hired actors of a similar age.
In cop movies set in New York in the 1940's, 50's and 60's quite a few cops speak with distinctive Irish accents. This may have been realistic for the 1860's to 1900's but surely not for post WW2!
In movies a criminal organisation like the Mafia is always defeated when the big capo is killed or found guilty and sentenced to life in prison. Hardly so in real life.
In the movie 'Chicago' the senior prison guard in a women's prison was an African American. Unlikely in the 1920's.
Why are all the female guards in women's prisons in movies always have to be so
fat and ugly.
In 'Don't Look Now' when Donald Sutherland's character finally confronts and faces the killer dwarf why did he not recoil and jump back in horror at the gruesome sight, but just stood there and let her stab him to death.
In 'The Wicker Man' 1973 why did Edward Woodward's police officer investigating the murder of a child remain on the remote island long after it had become blatantly obvious that all the islanders were involved in a cover up of the supposed murder. Didn't he cotton on that his life was in danger.
How do screen heroes aged around 32 always have a full head of thick, perfect hair when their fathers aged around 55 are fully male pattern bald.
Why does Victor Mclaglen (born in England) always put on a fake Irish accent in just about every movie role he plays, even when the character is not Irish.
In movies how do people who wish to have their wives, bosses, partners etc murdered manage to get a professional hit man to call at their house or meet in a public place to discuss terms.
Why is it that when John Wayne (and others like him) are felled by an immense blow from a fist, they are never seen in hospital with their jaw wired up in the next scene.
Why do six foot plus, broad shouldered leading men frequently have fathers who are small, thin and wizened.
Why when an attractive woman is tried for murder she is invariably found to be not guilty. -
pmiano100 — 18 years ago(September 06, 2007 10:28 PM)
Why do rich but otherwise ordinary people always hire profesional killers who are well-dressed, suave, sophisticated, and obviously well-to-do instead of the bar bum petty crooks they hire in real life?
In Six Days, Seven Nights, Anne Heche dumps her young, handsome, successful boyfriend (Davis Schwimmer) for the beat-up, broken-down, poverty-stricken, second rate charter pilot played by Harrison Ford, who is over 25 years her senior. Does anyone really believe that has ever happened in real life?
Why is it whenever the spouse's old boyfriend/girlfriend shows up, he/she is always more successful, more attractive, and sexier than the spouse's husband/wife - and still single and hot for the spouse? If these people are so great, why aren't they married? What's more, the husband/wife isn't tempted.
In a 1930s or 1940s film, two guys grow up together. The transition music plays and the montage flashes across the screen. When the montage and the music stops one of them is always a gangster and the other one is always some kind of good guy.
A cop tracks down a criminal (never a violent one) who got away long ago. He finds him in a small town, living a quiet, honest life with a wife and kids he treats like gold. The cop is always so moved, he lets the guy go and returns empty-handed.
The underdog misfit sports team goes up against the big-favorite champions. They either win or come so close, they win everyone's respect. How come they never lose by a landslide (34-6 or something)?
Why do high school nerds, so pathetically inept with girls their own age, turn into suave ladies men when they're with older women? -
Altho73 — 18 years ago(September 08, 2007 12:56 PM)
As Lt Columbo has solved every murder case he has been given why is he still a lieutenant. He should have been promoted years ago and become chief of police.
Whenever a movie private detective undertakes a straightforward, simple case like tailing a woman's husband or trying to find a missing person it always evolves into a complex maze of deceit, cross and double cross that nearly gets him killed.
In the 'Carry On' movies whenever blonde bombshell Barbara Windsor appears every man over 18 and under 75 falls over himself chasing her. If she is so popular with men why isn't she already married.
Any movie character who has been framed for murder or some other serious crime always goes on the run. He never states he is innocent and hires a hot shot lawyer to refute the charges.
In 'Theatre of Blood' after Vincent Price's character has killed seven out of the ten names he has threatened, several police officers are detailed to guard the remaining three names 24 hours a day. Yet when Price drives past the house of the eighth victim in a van, ALL of the seven police officers guarding the house immediately give chase only to discover when they finally stop the van that the driver is a lookalike employed as a decoy whilst Price has gone in and killed the poor victim. If only it was that easy!!!!
When a group of unfortunate passengers are stranded in the middle of a desert why does one man always volunteer to try and walk his way out and always either dies of lack of water or returns to the encampment half dead.
When a group of unfortunate passengers are stranded in the middle of a desert search planes strangely never manage to find them.
In bad girl movies, (Red Headed Women, Baby Face) a bad girl always manages to completely dupe and con EVERY successfull and intelligent man she runs into.
Every American household in movies has an elegant, distinguished English butler who looks and talks like John Gielgud.
In 'The Manchurian Candidate' 1962 Raymond Shaw is bullied by his domineering mother to dump lovely, attractive girlfriend Jocie Jordan. Yet six years later when the mother needs an union between Raymond and Jocie to further her husband's political career she arranges a reunion and believe it or not, Jocie is still single!!!!!
In 1930's gangster movies James Cagney's character, a short, unremarkable man always manages to floor everyone twice his size with one punch. -
pmiano100 — 18 years ago(September 08, 2007 10:54 PM)
Why hasn't Lt. Columbo retired yet? He's way past mandatory retirement age for the LAPD.
In WWII movies, why does the skinny, frightened kid who's so afraid he thinks he's a coward always turn into a super-soldier and kill every Axis soldier in sight?
In Darby's Rangers, you see the only serious battle between American and Italian soldiers in a WWII movie. In every other WWII film the Americans fight Germans or Japanese, and if any Italians show up, it's usually to surrender to the Americans.
A British or American POW wearing his own uniform who can't speak German escapes from a WWII POW camp in the middle of Germany and somehow manages to make it back to England.
With all the spectacular murder cases he's solved that would be splashed all over TV, the papers, and the radio, why are murderers still fooled by Lt. Columbo's bumbler act? Hasn't anyone heard of him?
Why do films always show Israeli spies and soldiers as invincible, infallible supermen? They're good, but they're not gods.
Why is the American who travels to Europe usually a bumbling idiot, but the European who travels to America is always a suave sophisticate?
If European and Australian movies are so great, why are so many Australian and European actors in American movies and television, often playing Americans?
In science fiction films, why are hostile aliens greeted cordially at first while peaceful and friendly ones are treated with hostility and shot at?
In every romantic comedy, the heroine comes in unexpectedly, sees the other woman kissing the hero, gets mad and leaves in a huff, refusing to listen to the hero's explanation (he's always innocent). She never arrives earlier to see her grab him and kiss him by surprise or later to see him push her away. She never sees the whole story.
The hero walks into a crowded building and when the heroine refuses to go with him, he throws her over his shoulder and carries her out kicking and screaming. No one ever tries to stop him or even calls security or the police.
In movies and TV, why are so many dead bodies mistaken for people who turn up alive? Even before DNA there were dental records, fingerprints, birthmarks, scars, and no doubt other things as well. The police are always fooled by a wallet or a watch. -
pmiano100 — 10 years ago(July 30, 2015 05:47 PM)
Thank you but we called it quits some time ago. However, I will leave you with one last cliche.
A beautiful young woman is in love with a seemingly perfect guy who either doesn't notice her or dates her but won't commit. She decides to go all out in an attempt to get him to notice her or commit. In the course of this campaign she meets a guy who at first seems totally wrong for her. Sure enough she falls for the new guy in a few days and drops the perfect guy because he suddenly shows major faults she's never noticed before, even though she's known him for a long time. She then goes off with the new guy seemingly unconcerned that he may have major faults too. -
Altho73 — 10 years ago(July 30, 2015 09:49 PM)
Did you know that there are specialist shops who sell attache cases specially designed for money laundering, payment of contract killers etc. You go into one of these shops and tell the shop owner that you have $250,000 in $100 bills to launder and you need an attache case. The man will then produce a case in which the $250,000 will fill the case to the top and all the bundles will be exactly level and there will not even be half an inch of space to spare on the sides.
How do I know this???? Well there has to be such shops, have you ever seen a movie where an attache case full of money doesn't fit exactly???? I have yet to find one of these shops but I will keep trying. -
pmiano100 — 10 years ago(January 11, 2016 10:36 PM)
Let me know when you do. In the meantime I will keep looking for those silencers on handguns that make supersonic speed pistol shots sound like whispers, instead of like a large book hitting the floor from a ten-foot drop, like real silencers sound.
-
Altho73 — 9 years ago(April 02, 2016 11:21 AM)
In the Columbo episode 'Lady in Waiting' Beth Chadwick shoots and kills her brother when he enters her house thru the French Windows claiming that she mistook him for a criminal. A Coroner's inquest is held and closes with a verdict of accidental death, so how come that the extremely annoying Lt Columbo is still obsessed with the case and continues harassing the poor woman and almost drives her into a breakdown?
Also why doesn't the Lieutenant's boss in the LAPD call him into his office and tell him -'Listen lieutenant this case is over, finished, closed. There are these unsolved murders in Watts, go and investigate them' -
pmiano100 — 9 years ago(April 02, 2016 11:53 AM)
Have you ever noticed that the so-called "kick-ass" heroines in adventure and super-hero movies and TV are usually able to take out a gang of 20 male opponents in 30 seconds, without taking one punch, even if they don't have super-powers? But what really gets me is that when they face a female villain, she's almost always a superb fighter too, and gives the heroine a tremendous fight, often landing hard-hitting punches.
Of course, the heroine always wins, and 10 seconds later, her hair is perfectly combed, her lipstick isn't smeared, and there's not a mark on her.
Also, how come nobody ever sues the super-heroes for excessive force or negligence when buildings are destroyed and innocent people are killed or injured? -
stiffarm-43601 — 9 years ago(August 25, 2016 12:45 AM)
Why is it cowboys never seem to be carrying anything but a thin rolled up blanket and two small saddle bags that look flat behind their saddles? Yet, when they're camping for the night they have a full bedroll, a coffee pot full of coffee, a cooking pot, metal plates, eating utensils, and plenty of meat and beans.
Why do lawyers in most movies and television shows spend almost all their time in court when in real life, they spend very little time in court rooms? They're usually looking over papers in their offices or negotiating settlements and deals with other lawyers in conference rooms.
Also, why is it criminal defense attorneys always seem to weed out the real criminal in the court room and either get them to confess, demand a lawyer, take the fifth, or sit in stunned silence? In real life that happens very rarely, and when it does, it's usually the prosecutor who does it.
Also, a common scene in movies and television is for the hero to brilliantly show how the murderer's airtight alibi isn't so perfect and demonstrate how he could have committed the crime. At that point, the criminal immediately either runs or confesses, the idiot. Sure the hero showed how he could have committed the crime that way, but he presented no evidence or witnesses that prove beyond reasonable doubt that the killer did do it. All the killer has to do is smile and say, That's a real convoluted, interesting theory you have there, Counselor. Do you have any proof? Usually, they don't.