watered-down penicillin?
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pmiano100 — 18 years ago(September 05, 2007 07:49 PM)
In the old horror films, the villagers always march on the castle, torches lit, just as a life and death struggle is going on between the hero and the monster.
Also, considering they're usually after the Frankenstein monster, why don't they call in the police or carry shotguns instead of pitchforks?
Why do war veterans wait 15-20 years before gathering in a hotel room to take revenge on the former comrade who betrayed them? Why didn't they turn him in to the military police when they had the chance?
An embittered ex-GI takes revenge on the members of his old unit, killing them one by one. Why does he always save the hero, the one with the best chance of stopping him, for last? And how is it the hero is always blameless?
In American war films, why are the Southern white characters always morons?
Only in movies or television are most murderers rich, middle-aged white men.
In British TV shows, why is the American man almost always the guilty one, or at least a very unlikable person?
In murder mysteries, why are the cheating wives of the victims almost always childless?
Why do married people on TV or movies almost never get along with their in-laws?
While do private detectives in movies and TV get away with break-ins, assaults, criminal impersonations, and dozens of other crimes without ever facing charges or even losing their licenses?
Why haven't Dennis the Menace's parents put him on Ritalin yet?
Why are TV/movie parents always taller than their children, even when the the children are in their late teens or twenties? People are getting taller, not shorter.
On the Cold Case TV show, why is the Vietnam veteran always the murderer?
Why do TV/movie fathers with black hair and mothers with blonde hair have children with red hair, or otherwise look absolutely nothing like either of them?
When Tarzan swings on vines, how come they're not covered with insects like they are in real life? And what are lions doing in jungles, when they actually live on the grassy plains?
How come fleeing criminal gangs almost always kidnap the beautiful wife or child of a former elite super-soldier combat veteran or a tough super-cop, instead of an ordinary man?
Why are all the daughters who hire the PI hero to find their missing fathers young, beautiful, and single?
Why do most TV/movie hookers wear expensive looking, if trashy, clothes, even if the're streetwalkers who are usually addicts?
Why are criminal suspects brought to trial so quickly in movies and TV? In real life it usually takes months or even years.
In "Rio Lobo", John Wayne and the other cowboys are shown carrying Colt .45 Peacemaker revolvers and Winchester repeating rifles in 1865. Neither weapon was invented until 1873.
How come girls with two suitors always wind up preferring the poor one to the rich one? Why is the poor guy always so nice and the rich guy always so rotten? -
Altho73 — 18 years ago(September 06, 2007 02:37 PM)
In 'Wings of Eagles' the Navy (led by John Wayne) and the Army (led by Kenneth Tobey) engage in several mammoth fist fights without anyone ever being seriously injured, crippled etc and the top brass never take serious disciplinary action against them.
In 'The Mountain' Spencer Tracy and Robert Wagner play brothers, yet Tracy looks around 65 and Wagner around 22. Why couldn't they have made them grandfather and grandson or at least hired actors of a similar age.
In cop movies set in New York in the 1940's, 50's and 60's quite a few cops speak with distinctive Irish accents. This may have been realistic for the 1860's to 1900's but surely not for post WW2!
In movies a criminal organisation like the Mafia is always defeated when the big capo is killed or found guilty and sentenced to life in prison. Hardly so in real life.
In the movie 'Chicago' the senior prison guard in a women's prison was an African American. Unlikely in the 1920's.
Why are all the female guards in women's prisons in movies always have to be so
fat and ugly.
In 'Don't Look Now' when Donald Sutherland's character finally confronts and faces the killer dwarf why did he not recoil and jump back in horror at the gruesome sight, but just stood there and let her stab him to death.
In 'The Wicker Man' 1973 why did Edward Woodward's police officer investigating the murder of a child remain on the remote island long after it had become blatantly obvious that all the islanders were involved in a cover up of the supposed murder. Didn't he cotton on that his life was in danger.
How do screen heroes aged around 32 always have a full head of thick, perfect hair when their fathers aged around 55 are fully male pattern bald.
Why does Victor Mclaglen (born in England) always put on a fake Irish accent in just about every movie role he plays, even when the character is not Irish.
In movies how do people who wish to have their wives, bosses, partners etc murdered manage to get a professional hit man to call at their house or meet in a public place to discuss terms.
Why is it that when John Wayne (and others like him) are felled by an immense blow from a fist, they are never seen in hospital with their jaw wired up in the next scene.
Why do six foot plus, broad shouldered leading men frequently have fathers who are small, thin and wizened.
Why when an attractive woman is tried for murder she is invariably found to be not guilty. -
pmiano100 — 18 years ago(September 06, 2007 10:28 PM)
Why do rich but otherwise ordinary people always hire profesional killers who are well-dressed, suave, sophisticated, and obviously well-to-do instead of the bar bum petty crooks they hire in real life?
In Six Days, Seven Nights, Anne Heche dumps her young, handsome, successful boyfriend (Davis Schwimmer) for the beat-up, broken-down, poverty-stricken, second rate charter pilot played by Harrison Ford, who is over 25 years her senior. Does anyone really believe that has ever happened in real life?
Why is it whenever the spouse's old boyfriend/girlfriend shows up, he/she is always more successful, more attractive, and sexier than the spouse's husband/wife - and still single and hot for the spouse? If these people are so great, why aren't they married? What's more, the husband/wife isn't tempted.
In a 1930s or 1940s film, two guys grow up together. The transition music plays and the montage flashes across the screen. When the montage and the music stops one of them is always a gangster and the other one is always some kind of good guy.
A cop tracks down a criminal (never a violent one) who got away long ago. He finds him in a small town, living a quiet, honest life with a wife and kids he treats like gold. The cop is always so moved, he lets the guy go and returns empty-handed.
The underdog misfit sports team goes up against the big-favorite champions. They either win or come so close, they win everyone's respect. How come they never lose by a landslide (34-6 or something)?
Why do high school nerds, so pathetically inept with girls their own age, turn into suave ladies men when they're with older women? -
Altho73 — 18 years ago(September 08, 2007 12:56 PM)
As Lt Columbo has solved every murder case he has been given why is he still a lieutenant. He should have been promoted years ago and become chief of police.
Whenever a movie private detective undertakes a straightforward, simple case like tailing a woman's husband or trying to find a missing person it always evolves into a complex maze of deceit, cross and double cross that nearly gets him killed.
In the 'Carry On' movies whenever blonde bombshell Barbara Windsor appears every man over 18 and under 75 falls over himself chasing her. If she is so popular with men why isn't she already married.
Any movie character who has been framed for murder or some other serious crime always goes on the run. He never states he is innocent and hires a hot shot lawyer to refute the charges.
In 'Theatre of Blood' after Vincent Price's character has killed seven out of the ten names he has threatened, several police officers are detailed to guard the remaining three names 24 hours a day. Yet when Price drives past the house of the eighth victim in a van, ALL of the seven police officers guarding the house immediately give chase only to discover when they finally stop the van that the driver is a lookalike employed as a decoy whilst Price has gone in and killed the poor victim. If only it was that easy!!!!
When a group of unfortunate passengers are stranded in the middle of a desert why does one man always volunteer to try and walk his way out and always either dies of lack of water or returns to the encampment half dead.
When a group of unfortunate passengers are stranded in the middle of a desert search planes strangely never manage to find them.
In bad girl movies, (Red Headed Women, Baby Face) a bad girl always manages to completely dupe and con EVERY successfull and intelligent man she runs into.
Every American household in movies has an elegant, distinguished English butler who looks and talks like John Gielgud.
In 'The Manchurian Candidate' 1962 Raymond Shaw is bullied by his domineering mother to dump lovely, attractive girlfriend Jocie Jordan. Yet six years later when the mother needs an union between Raymond and Jocie to further her husband's political career she arranges a reunion and believe it or not, Jocie is still single!!!!!
In 1930's gangster movies James Cagney's character, a short, unremarkable man always manages to floor everyone twice his size with one punch. -
pmiano100 — 18 years ago(September 08, 2007 10:54 PM)
Why hasn't Lt. Columbo retired yet? He's way past mandatory retirement age for the LAPD.
In WWII movies, why does the skinny, frightened kid who's so afraid he thinks he's a coward always turn into a super-soldier and kill every Axis soldier in sight?
In Darby's Rangers, you see the only serious battle between American and Italian soldiers in a WWII movie. In every other WWII film the Americans fight Germans or Japanese, and if any Italians show up, it's usually to surrender to the Americans.
A British or American POW wearing his own uniform who can't speak German escapes from a WWII POW camp in the middle of Germany and somehow manages to make it back to England.
With all the spectacular murder cases he's solved that would be splashed all over TV, the papers, and the radio, why are murderers still fooled by Lt. Columbo's bumbler act? Hasn't anyone heard of him?
Why do films always show Israeli spies and soldiers as invincible, infallible supermen? They're good, but they're not gods.
Why is the American who travels to Europe usually a bumbling idiot, but the European who travels to America is always a suave sophisticate?
If European and Australian movies are so great, why are so many Australian and European actors in American movies and television, often playing Americans?
In science fiction films, why are hostile aliens greeted cordially at first while peaceful and friendly ones are treated with hostility and shot at?
In every romantic comedy, the heroine comes in unexpectedly, sees the other woman kissing the hero, gets mad and leaves in a huff, refusing to listen to the hero's explanation (he's always innocent). She never arrives earlier to see her grab him and kiss him by surprise or later to see him push her away. She never sees the whole story.
The hero walks into a crowded building and when the heroine refuses to go with him, he throws her over his shoulder and carries her out kicking and screaming. No one ever tries to stop him or even calls security or the police.
In movies and TV, why are so many dead bodies mistaken for people who turn up alive? Even before DNA there were dental records, fingerprints, birthmarks, scars, and no doubt other things as well. The police are always fooled by a wallet or a watch. -
pmiano100 — 10 years ago(July 30, 2015 05:47 PM)
Thank you but we called it quits some time ago. However, I will leave you with one last cliche.
A beautiful young woman is in love with a seemingly perfect guy who either doesn't notice her or dates her but won't commit. She decides to go all out in an attempt to get him to notice her or commit. In the course of this campaign she meets a guy who at first seems totally wrong for her. Sure enough she falls for the new guy in a few days and drops the perfect guy because he suddenly shows major faults she's never noticed before, even though she's known him for a long time. She then goes off with the new guy seemingly unconcerned that he may have major faults too. -
Altho73 — 10 years ago(July 30, 2015 09:49 PM)
Did you know that there are specialist shops who sell attache cases specially designed for money laundering, payment of contract killers etc. You go into one of these shops and tell the shop owner that you have $250,000 in $100 bills to launder and you need an attache case. The man will then produce a case in which the $250,000 will fill the case to the top and all the bundles will be exactly level and there will not even be half an inch of space to spare on the sides.
How do I know this???? Well there has to be such shops, have you ever seen a movie where an attache case full of money doesn't fit exactly???? I have yet to find one of these shops but I will keep trying. -
pmiano100 — 10 years ago(January 11, 2016 10:36 PM)
Let me know when you do. In the meantime I will keep looking for those silencers on handguns that make supersonic speed pistol shots sound like whispers, instead of like a large book hitting the floor from a ten-foot drop, like real silencers sound.
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Altho73 — 9 years ago(April 02, 2016 11:21 AM)
In the Columbo episode 'Lady in Waiting' Beth Chadwick shoots and kills her brother when he enters her house thru the French Windows claiming that she mistook him for a criminal. A Coroner's inquest is held and closes with a verdict of accidental death, so how come that the extremely annoying Lt Columbo is still obsessed with the case and continues harassing the poor woman and almost drives her into a breakdown?
Also why doesn't the Lieutenant's boss in the LAPD call him into his office and tell him -'Listen lieutenant this case is over, finished, closed. There are these unsolved murders in Watts, go and investigate them' -
pmiano100 — 9 years ago(April 02, 2016 11:53 AM)
Have you ever noticed that the so-called "kick-ass" heroines in adventure and super-hero movies and TV are usually able to take out a gang of 20 male opponents in 30 seconds, without taking one punch, even if they don't have super-powers? But what really gets me is that when they face a female villain, she's almost always a superb fighter too, and gives the heroine a tremendous fight, often landing hard-hitting punches.
Of course, the heroine always wins, and 10 seconds later, her hair is perfectly combed, her lipstick isn't smeared, and there's not a mark on her.
Also, how come nobody ever sues the super-heroes for excessive force or negligence when buildings are destroyed and innocent people are killed or injured? -
stiffarm-43601 — 9 years ago(August 25, 2016 12:45 AM)
Why is it cowboys never seem to be carrying anything but a thin rolled up blanket and two small saddle bags that look flat behind their saddles? Yet, when they're camping for the night they have a full bedroll, a coffee pot full of coffee, a cooking pot, metal plates, eating utensils, and plenty of meat and beans.
Why do lawyers in most movies and television shows spend almost all their time in court when in real life, they spend very little time in court rooms? They're usually looking over papers in their offices or negotiating settlements and deals with other lawyers in conference rooms.
Also, why is it criminal defense attorneys always seem to weed out the real criminal in the court room and either get them to confess, demand a lawyer, take the fifth, or sit in stunned silence? In real life that happens very rarely, and when it does, it's usually the prosecutor who does it.
Also, a common scene in movies and television is for the hero to brilliantly show how the murderer's airtight alibi isn't so perfect and demonstrate how he could have committed the crime. At that point, the criminal immediately either runs or confesses, the idiot. Sure the hero showed how he could have committed the crime that way, but he presented no evidence or witnesses that prove beyond reasonable doubt that the killer did do it. All the killer has to do is smile and say, That's a real convoluted, interesting theory you have there, Counselor. Do you have any proof? Usually, they don't.