Best Line In Soap
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jbacks3-1 — 20 years ago(February 21, 2006 09:03 AM)
The funniest thing I think I ever saw on TV was the bit where Jodie hides Chuck in the freezer and Bob is frantic. He runs into the kitchen doing the ventriloquist bit on fruit (the bannana goes "OLE!") the groaning orange in the juicer had me on the floor. That killed me
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igrahamb — 20 years ago(March 14, 2006 03:00 PM)
I think the best line has previously been mentioned, when Jodie tells Jessica that gays have existed throughout history, and mentions that Plato was gay. A flabbergasted Jessica says, "Mickey Mouse's dog was gay?"
If you watch that scene you can tell that Billy Crystal is about to burst out laughing and barely keeps it together. -
bonbk — 19 years ago(April 17, 2006 12:32 PM)
Mary and Jessica are in the kitchen discussing a pregnancy (I think Mary's after she was with alien Burt, not sure if the baby was his or real Burt's) and Mary, sitting at the table and says excitedly,
"Jessica bring me a calendar"! and Jessica dashes around the kitchen then slams a colander on the table in front of Mary. HILARIOUS! -
mmorley85 — 19 years ago(April 22, 2006 10:51 PM)
Billy Tate in response to everyone trying to shelter him:
"Why can't anyone ever talk in front of me, huh? I walk into a room and conversation stops. I went around for years thinking a surprise party was being planned for me!" -
deanne_holt — 19 years ago(May 28, 2006 02:10 PM)
I always liked the scenes when the women discussed sex over coffee cake in Jessica's kitchen. My favorite is when they are talking about the most unusual place they have ever had sex.
Mary says: I like it in another room.
Jessie says: Doesn't that make it difficult for Burt?
I know there are funnier lines, but that one always cracks me up. -
WehoSteve — 19 years ago(June 02, 2006 08:14 PM)
I always laugh when Billy's suicidal ex-teacher/lover unexpectedly enters the room trying to kill herself: "This time I'm gonna do it! This time I'm REALLY gonna do it!" I quote this line all the time and no one ever gets it.
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caladon — 19 years ago(June 03, 2006 09:38 PM)
I've always liked this line:
It takes place in the episode of the baby's exorcism:
Just before Tim goes upstairs to battle the devil, he gives Benson the name of another priest and says:
Tim: If anything happens to me, call him.
Benson: I'm sure when he finds out how you died, he'll rush right over. -
Algae723 — 19 years ago(June 10, 2006 07:39 AM)
I can't believe no one said this one yet. It was from the first season and the police chief was trying to find out who murdered Peter.
It went something like this:
Police Chief: Our next suspect is Benson.
Benson: Why me?
Police Chief: Because your black.
Benson: Alright, understandable.
Police Chief: And your the butler, there's a reason for the say "the butler did it." Our next suspect it Jodie.
Jodie: Me? Why me?
Police Chief: Because your gay.
Benson: That's almost as good as my reason.
Police Chief: And everyone knows how weird those types are.
That is by far my favorite episode, it's hilarious.
I also like the part when the police chief goes, "I the peace of chilief."
This shows hilarious! -
andy3472 — 19 years ago(June 10, 2006 01:04 PM)
Beatlefan 723
I agree, i would have to say this episode is probably my favourite one too.
Many great lines and so many from the Piece of Chlief Tinkler.
Don't forget these ones:
"Where, when, why, how and who? That's a H and four W's!"
"He was stabbed, shot, strangled, suffocated and bludgeoned. That's four S's and a B!"
"No, it's impossible for a blind woman to shoot with that kind of accuracy."
"Mrs Campbell, there's no reason in the world to suspect you. Therefore i suspect you."
"I couldn't murder anybody, i couldn't even spank the children when they were bad."
"There has been a murder."
"Another one?!"
"Sooner or later we all have to go."
"And some not soon enough."
All great stuff!!!! -
hannah528 — 19 years ago(June 13, 2006 03:14 PM)
Tinkler: (something to the extent of) Could you get the kid to leave the room?
Chester: Billy, go upstairs.
Billy: Why? This is about violence, not sex!
(Polly and Danny are in the laundromat kissing and people are staring)
Danny: Hey! They're staring at us!
Polly: Well, we're kissing.
Danny: No, that's not it. They're staring because we're a bisexual couple! -
Steve_Just_D_Stevenson — 19 years ago(June 17, 2006 11:12 PM)
Chuck/Bob, Danny, Burt, and I believe Jodie are all out drinking at a bar. Bob passes out and his legs are hanging off the table swinging. Everyone else gets up leaving Bob there passed out, the waitress/bartender asks them who is paying the tab. They all look at Bob, and say "he is."
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coolrockin16 — 19 years ago(July 05, 2006 07:49 AM)
Bob: Mucho gusto, El Puerco.
El Puerco: Estas muy amable.
Bob: Gracias. Vamos a ver aqui con
Chester: Chuck, what are they saying?
Chuck: I don't know. I don't speak Spanish.
Jessica: How's Leslie?
Billy: She's fine.
Jessica: And Saunders?
Billy: Leslie shot him in the temple.
Jessica: I didn't know he was Jewish. -
disturbedtool68 — 19 years ago(July 21, 2006 01:01 PM)
When Chester has amnesia and he assumes the role of Cookie the chef at a diner.
Waitress: Hey Cookie, are you just going to let those eggs fester on the plate?!
Chester/Cookie: Fester Plate. Chester. Plate. I'm Chester Plate! No? Wait I'M CHESTER TATE!!! -
brendanchenowith — 19 years ago(July 31, 2006 07:40 AM)
When Jessica's murder trial is wrapping up and she addresses the jury:
Could you please make up your minds in a hurry? I can't stand another day with that man (the Judge)
No good.lousy - - a BEAST! OUT!!!!