Best Line In Soap
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beavinator — 20 years ago(December 19, 2005 02:07 AM)
I just finished watching through the whole series on DVD. Here are a couple of my favorite scenes.
Burt holds up apple in front of Chuck so blindfolded Bob can "read his mind"
Bob: "It'sredit's roundit's an apple!!"
Danny (leaps out of chair): "THIS IS AMAZING!!!"
Mary: "Danny, Chuck can see what he's holding"
Danny: "Yeah but BOB can't!!"
Chester (spitting out coffee): Benson?! Did you put sugar in this??
Benson: "Is it sweet?"
Chester: "Yes!"
Benson: "Then I must have put sugar in it."
Chester: "Benson, I am a diabetic. I can't have any sugar!"
Benson: "I keep thinkin' it's salt you can't have"
Chester: "I can't have salt either!"
Benson: "Ain't no salt in there!!"
Chester: "Just bring me another cup and this time don't put anything in it!"
Benson walks halfway across the room, forcing Chester to lean over to hand him the coffee, then brings it to kitchen and returns to serve Chester an empty cup
Chester: "BENSON!!"
Benson: "You said don't put anything in it!!"
And somebody already mentioned my favorite: "Do you tink I'm finish?!!"
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Velvet_Roses — 20 years ago(January 06, 2006 01:44 PM)
Chester : Well somebody do something because my blood pressure is already red lined. All I have to do is stand-up and I'll have a cerebral hemorage right on the spot !!
Benson : Simon says Stand Up.
Also theres that scene when Corinne announces Chester that she's moving in with Peter and Jesica doesn't want him to know.
Chester : Peter who's Peter?
Jesica : Peter pumpkin eater had a wife and couldn't keep her locked her in pumpkin cell then he kept her very well
And the rest of the scene that can't really be written.
Chester tells Billy about Herby who always goes on. As he's leaving the room, Billy stops him.
Billy : Where is Herby now ??
Chester : Oh he's in a mental institute, he just sits in corners, talks in numbers and makes lovely baskets!!
Mary : Go install yourself Chuck, you can also take a shower.
Jodie : All Bob needs is a little lemon pledge!!
I loved most of Jodie's jokes about Bob.And there was also all those so intense moments for example when Jessica's about to die that was such an intense moment, but I think the most intense one is when Elaine dies
Danny : Don't worry Elaine, you're home
icannunderstandewattchurespikkingovcoudjureepeetplis?-Of Course I'm a GobStopper Why Ask? -
LadyDi4476 — 16 years ago(September 06, 2009 12:21 PM)
Burt holds up apple in front of Chuck so blindfolded Bob can "read his mind"
Bob: "It'sredit's roundit's an apple!!"
Danny (leaps out of chair): "THIS IS AMAZING!!!"
Mary: "Danny, Chuck can see what he's holding"
Danny: "Yeah but BOB can't!!"
Chuck and Bob were the best part of Soap. They always had me cracking up. The scene where Bob gets hit by the stray bullet in season one is hysterical.
~Diane~ -
auggieblvd — 20 years ago(January 20, 2006 08:45 PM)
When the baby is possessed in season 2 and Benson says he will go up with Tim to try to face the devil he says:
My mother once told me, "Son, look the Devil in the eye and meet him straight on. You can't wrestle him to the ground unless you got a hold of him first."
Powerful stuff!
In addition to that, Jessica's full speech to the Devil to make him go away still gives me chills!
Susan Harris and the other writers of Soap were brilliant with comedic writing, but they were just as brilliant with the serious moments throughout the show. -
dedoc1967 — 18 years ago(November 19, 2007 04:40 PM)
When the baby is possessed in season 2 and Benson says he will go up with Tim to try to face the devil he says:
My mother once told me, "Son, look the Devil in the eye and meet him straight on. You can't wrestle him to the ground unless you got a hold of him first."
Powerful stuff!
Isn't that when the devil made a growling sound that shook the house and Benson starts back down the stairs saying, "My mother was a fool! An out and out idiot and everyone knew it!" LOL
In addition to that, Jessica's full speech to the Devil to make him go away still gives me chills!
Oh yeah! Somewhere in there she says, "We've endured separation and loss and death, we've survived too much to give up to you now." Helmond was genius in this role. She could manipulate laughs or tears out of any line. -
bizerta — 20 years ago(February 07, 2006 12:36 PM)
My two favs:
After Benson killed the rat (Arthur?), Chester (or Jessica) asks Benson if the rat had been given a proper burial. Benson replies that yes, he gave him a "burial at sea". I knew what he meant the instant he said it. There was no need for the pause and "I flushed him down the toilet."
My other fav is when Bob was hidden in the refrigerator. Chuck needs a maniquin, any manaquin, so he slices a mouth in a grapefruit. Of course, when thr grapefruit speaks, juice runs down Chuck's arm. When Bob is finally discovered, Bob is shaking from the cold and remarks about the light in the refrigerator that stayed ON when the door was closed. -
jbacks3-1 — 20 years ago(February 21, 2006 09:03 AM)
The funniest thing I think I ever saw on TV was the bit where Jodie hides Chuck in the freezer and Bob is frantic. He runs into the kitchen doing the ventriloquist bit on fruit (the bannana goes "OLE!") the groaning orange in the juicer had me on the floor. That killed me
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igrahamb — 20 years ago(March 14, 2006 03:00 PM)
I think the best line has previously been mentioned, when Jodie tells Jessica that gays have existed throughout history, and mentions that Plato was gay. A flabbergasted Jessica says, "Mickey Mouse's dog was gay?"
If you watch that scene you can tell that Billy Crystal is about to burst out laughing and barely keeps it together. -
bonbk — 19 years ago(April 17, 2006 12:32 PM)
Mary and Jessica are in the kitchen discussing a pregnancy (I think Mary's after she was with alien Burt, not sure if the baby was his or real Burt's) and Mary, sitting at the table and says excitedly,
"Jessica bring me a calendar"! and Jessica dashes around the kitchen then slams a colander on the table in front of Mary. HILARIOUS! -
mmorley85 — 19 years ago(April 22, 2006 10:51 PM)
Billy Tate in response to everyone trying to shelter him:
"Why can't anyone ever talk in front of me, huh? I walk into a room and conversation stops. I went around for years thinking a surprise party was being planned for me!" -
deanne_holt — 19 years ago(May 28, 2006 02:10 PM)
I always liked the scenes when the women discussed sex over coffee cake in Jessica's kitchen. My favorite is when they are talking about the most unusual place they have ever had sex.
Mary says: I like it in another room.
Jessie says: Doesn't that make it difficult for Burt?
I know there are funnier lines, but that one always cracks me up.