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  3. Things You Learned from watching Excalibur

Things You Learned from watching Excalibur

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    Archived from the IMDb Discussion Forums — Excalibur


    Darth_Ferior — 14 years ago(July 14, 2011 04:49 AM)

    1. Never show a King that you have a more attractive wife than he has (See The Tudors also for additional proof!)
    2. If a sword ever becomes stuck in a rock, ask someone who hasn't been walking around all day wearing very heavy armour to try pulling it out, they may still have the strength to do it.
    3. When making a deal with someone, first get the details of what is required from you before swearing on it.
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      ss336 — 14 years ago(July 15, 2011 06:49 PM)

      Number 3 is the big one and that's the one that keeps coming up in Arthurian legend all the way back to Mabinogion.

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        arnis12 — 14 years ago(July 17, 2011 06:27 PM)

        Even though Uther's lust brings down his kingdom, he still too much of a bad-ass, knight-king, to take his clothes off while making love.
        -A knight must perform the act of sex in full body armor.

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          MtnMan13 — 11 years ago(February 18, 2015 08:08 AM)

          As far as this movie is concerned, knights must do everything in full body armor.

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            crashdummy35 — 10 years ago(August 25, 2015 12:18 PM)

            -A knight must perform the act of sex in full body armor.
            Word.

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                jh66 — 14 years ago(August 03, 2011 11:10 AM)

                That in a history film, you can really ham it up like some Benny Hill sketch (ie. 'Have you seen Merlin?' 'I have
                nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
                't!')
                When you get in a duel (ie. from the middle of the Gawain/Llancelot duel) odd weapons suddenly appear?
                Similarly, when in a battle your mates might suddenly vanish without explanation (ie. in the last battle Sir Kay disappears in a continuity error)?
                http://www.englistory.com

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                  erlend-se — 14 years ago(September 01, 2011 11:32 AM)

                  Truth is the greatest quality of a knight.
                  Evil hides where one will never expect it.
                  One day a king will come and excalibur will rise once again

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                    redshoulder — 14 years ago(September 11, 2011 05:57 PM)

                    (7) You don't vote for kings.
                    (8) Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.
                    (9) Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
                    (10) You can't expect to wield supreme power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
                    (11) Then shalt thou count to three. No more no less.
                    (12) Three shalt be the number thou shalt count and the number of the counting shall be three.
                    (13) Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three.
                    (14) Five is right out.
                    (15) You need to know about swallows when you're king.

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                      KinksRock — 14 years ago(October 04, 2011 01:34 PM)

                      (16) Orff's "Carmina Burana" can be really bad-ass theme music when you are off to do battle.
                      Hey, you dang woodchucks! Stop chucking my wood!

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                        pawtrax67 — 14 years ago(December 04, 2011 10:43 AM)

                        1. After catching your wife and best friend making out. Remember you and the land are one so be careful impaling your sword into the ground!
                        2. After catching your wife and best friend making out, when your wife comes back home, be careful it might be your half-sister in disguise.
                        3. Your pride should never get in the way of crossing a bridge.
                        4. Knights and Kings wandered around in full plate over 90% of the time, even during religious ceremonies, and other events.
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                          KinksRock — 14 years ago(December 05, 2011 05:49 AM)

                          1. The medieval version of the "rope-a-dope" or "MAD" [Mutually Assured Destruction]: When impaled on a javelin, move up the javelin, impaling yourself even more, so that you can kill your opponent with your sword. You may die, too, but you'll live longer than the other guy.
                            Hey, you dang woodchucks! Stop chucking my wood!
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                            childers-3 — 13 years ago(May 11, 2012 09:39 AM)

                            I have always noticed the similarities in both movies. Your answers are perfect.
                            "Well, make something up!"/RG

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                              Zz9pza — 13 years ago(May 16, 2012 01:14 PM)

                              Not that kind of coke
                              I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed or numbered. My life is my own.

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                                paskuniag — 13 years ago(November 26, 2012 07:56 PM)

                                I'm glad someone else on this board sees how much the look of this big-budget movie is not unlike that of the shoestring-budgeted Monty Python production. Some here may feel insulted or put off by your silly commentary, but it is dead on. Bra-vo!

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                                  dggonzal — 13 years ago(December 30, 2012 05:44 PM)

                                  1. Guilt apparently doesn't make wounds heal
                                  2. Chanting "Anall nathrach, oorfas bethud, dorhiel dienvay" too much will make you old.
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                                    jglapin — 12 years ago(December 18, 2013 06:15 PM)

                                    and "I have to walk the dog a lot."

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                                      diddymuck — 12 years ago(January 28, 2014 10:01 PM)

                                      You mean you have to push the pram a lot.

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                                        jh66 — 14 years ago(December 07, 2011 03:33 PM)

                                        If your half-sister wears a brass-boob corset, you will have sex with her.
                                        A score of knights around a table will ride out for a quest, only to show about 6 on the hill.
                                        Kings can be ambushed by badly-edited and continuitical knights

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