Things You Learned from watching Excalibur
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jh66 — 14 years ago(August 03, 2011 11:10 AM)
That in a history film, you can really ham it up like some Benny Hill sketch (ie. 'Have you seen Merlin?' 'I have
nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
't!')
When you get in a duel (ie. from the middle of the Gawain/Llancelot duel) odd weapons suddenly appear?
Similarly, when in a battle your mates might suddenly vanish without explanation (ie. in the last battle Sir Kay disappears in a continuity error)?
http://www.englistory.com -
redshoulder — 14 years ago(September 11, 2011 05:57 PM)
(7) You don't vote for kings.
(8) Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.
(9) Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
(10) You can't expect to wield supreme power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
(11) Then shalt thou count to three. No more no less.
(12) Three shalt be the number thou shalt count and the number of the counting shall be three.
(13) Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three.
(14) Five is right out.
(15) You need to know about swallows when you're king. -
pawtrax67 — 14 years ago(December 04, 2011 10:43 AM)
- After catching your wife and best friend making out. Remember you and the land are one so be careful impaling your sword into the ground!
- After catching your wife and best friend making out, when your wife comes back home, be careful it might be your half-sister in disguise.
- Your pride should never get in the way of crossing a bridge.
- Knights and Kings wandered around in full plate over 90% of the time, even during religious ceremonies, and other events.
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KinksRock — 14 years ago(December 05, 2011 05:49 AM)
- The medieval version of the "rope-a-dope" or "MAD" [Mutually Assured Destruction]: When impaled on a javelin, move up the javelin, impaling yourself even more, so that you can kill your opponent with your sword. You may die, too, but you'll live longer than the other guy.
Hey, you dang woodchucks! Stop chucking my wood!
- The medieval version of the "rope-a-dope" or "MAD" [Mutually Assured Destruction]: When impaled on a javelin, move up the javelin, impaling yourself even more, so that you can kill your opponent with your sword. You may die, too, but you'll live longer than the other guy.
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paskuniag — 13 years ago(November 26, 2012 07:56 PM)
I'm glad someone else on this board sees how much the look of this big-budget movie is not unlike that of the shoestring-budgeted Monty Python production. Some here may feel insulted or put off by your silly commentary, but it is dead on. Bra-vo!
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jh66 — 14 years ago(December 07, 2011 03:33 PM)
If your half-sister wears a brass-boob corset, you will have sex with her.
A score of knights around a table will ride out for a quest, only to show about 6 on the hill.
Kings can be ambushed by badly-edited and continuitical knights -
jh66 — 14 years ago(December 14, 2011 01:30 PM)
- Despite tussling with a dozen knights of the Round Table, Llancelot will still be 100% clean in bright silver armourundented!
- When king, your sexy half-sister will patrol the place doing black magic and acting atrociously- and nobody will notice!
- When king, your father's men will vanish without explanation.
- If you are cast out (Llancelot) you will grow a beard, act strange and smell like a tramp.
- When you're horny, mount a horse and jump off a cliff! Your lust will 'hold you up'- too bad if you're impotent!
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Anxiety1138 — 14 years ago(February 02, 2012 06:10 PM)
- Walking, riding and fighting in full plate armor is only noisy when you are not sneaking up on your wife and best friend lying the woods post coitus to plunge your sword into the ground between their naked bodies.
Don't you want to become one with me? To be of one mind and body?
- Walking, riding and fighting in full plate armor is only noisy when you are not sneaking up on your wife and best friend lying the woods post coitus to plunge your sword into the ground between their naked bodies.