Who's in Your Dead Pool?
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BobbyRayLemon — 20 years ago(August 06, 2005 10:49 AM)
- Tom SizemoreB-List Actor, Woman-beater and Speed Freak Felonious Institutionalized psychopath with a death wish. Let's pray he gets help before committing suicide, homicide, or both. Anyone whose mere presence can make The Punisher and Heidi Fleiss cry in the courtroom should be feared by most if not all civilians, although Tom Jane isn't exactly a man's man (who is dumb/crazy enough to cast him as one of the toughest characters in the nerds' fantasy universe of comics?)*
- Tom CruiseCloseted homosexual and marketing device/pimp for the "COS". His career is spiralling out of control as his degree of mental illnesses (ADHD, Schizophrenia, Manic-Depression) worsen at an exponential rate. Studies performed by TV/Moviephiles have calculated the rate of mental illness increase at 2.3x10 to the 3rd power every lunar cycle.
Hopefully he won't kill himself when he hits rock bottom, which looks to be any moment now (most likely when Ms. Dawson's Creek manages to escape from Cruz/Cruise/Mapother/whatever his name is and his "handlers" who managed a public kidnapping).* - JackAndCoke, OzzyContin, Sharon, and KellyRexia OsbourneAll are dangerously and highly addicted to food, drink, drugs, publicity, or a combination of the four. THey will probably go out "Jim Jones Style" and simulatneously overdose on something yet to be named. The regular and excessive intake of oxycontin, percodan, codeine, morphine, seconal, barbiturates, soma, vodka, lortabs (w/the liver toxic compound known as acetominiphen aka Tylenol), meth, diet pills, cocaine, fatty/sugary foods, wine, etc. etc. etc. is a ticket to a short life-span. Now that Ol' mister 'bourne has the parkinson's shakes, his measurement ability WRT drugs might lead to an accidental OD. Let's hope I am wrong.*
- Major League Baseball RoidersBonds, McGwire, Palmeiro, Giambi and the slew of others who've yet to be caught ABUSING (not therapeutically "using") anabolic-androgenic steroids and HGH along with insulin, IGF-1, and other unknown substances used to enhance performance at the price of their health. Ken Caminiti just died of a heart-attack at age 41 last october. He had been caught using steroids/coke, and abused alcohol. Who knows how many other MLB guys live life in a similar manner? Countdown to the next statistic starts in T minus 5, 4, 3..*
- (TIE) Russell Crowe/Mike TysonWith his bizarre "street fightin' 'round the world" and explosively violent/psychotic behavior with service industry people (i.e. hotel clerks and his bodyguard whose ear he bit off), he is a walking TimeBomb as is Tyson. None of his flicks since Gladiator (and come to think of it, none before Gladiator sans the great L.A. Confidential) have lived up to anywhere near the critic's/public's expectations.*
Mike Tyson is almost the exact same, except he can actually fight and usually has a good reason to do so (people jumping him outside of hotels, for instance) whereas Old Crow looks for trouble. Another difference between the two is that Tyson can actually fight well"well" meaning better than 99.9999% of the human race. Like Old Crow, his ring performances since getting out of jail have mostly been letdowns, particularly the ones from the last 2 years.*
I give both of them less than 18 months before they are killed while attempting assault or another crime. If not that, they definately have the ability/tendency for self-induced violence and are candidates for suicide.*
DISCLAIMER
*This article is for entertainment purposes only. All of the above is merely speculation and is written for comedic value. None of it is factually supported and I do not wish any emotional, physical, mental or financial stress or harm for any of the above mentioned individuals.
HA HA, CHARADES THEY ARE
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marbleann — 20 years ago(August 31, 2005 02:30 AM)
Any of the Brat Pack, particular the ones who still darken our movie and TV screens.
Tom Cruise for all of the above reasons. Plus he still can't act.
Russell Crowe take away his working permit visa. Then deport him -
rikthadik_ripplei — 20 years ago(September 04, 2005 07:42 PM)
OK. Can't resist.
- Paris Hilton. Oh yeah. She's rich and famous for being rich and famous! I have never seen anyone, ANYONE, less deserving of fame. When the public finally tires of her, the wheels will come off no pun intended. And guess what? She's not even good looking. What a trashy, slutty chick.
- Little Jon. You no talent sack of s hit. And if that doesn't float your boat, you can substitute any of the so called "rappers" making ten minute toss off beats, writing ten minute toss off lyrics, getting rich because teenage kids are too dumb to know what good rap music sounds like, then acting like they own the world and everything in it. Go to sleep, ho. Die, beep die.
- Owen Wilson. What a goddamn goofball. All the same stupid ass mannerisms and tics in every "comedic" role he plays, that f ucking irritating nasal drone, explained by the fact that his nose looks like an uncooked Thanksgiving turkey. Fag.
- Chris Kattan. If I need to explain this please, tell me I don't have to explain this. Substitute Jimmy Fallon if you wish. I
- Michael Bay. Purveyor of some of the s hittiest films ever committed to celluloid. Pretentious, egotistical f ucking hack. Films with edits every second and a half literally make me want to strangle people. Who can stand that? Who watches this? Good God. But sometimes justice does roll around- no matter where you are in the world right now, if you listen close enough, you can hear "The Island" TANKING.
Signatures are for people who can't handle not having signatures.
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Angel_litos — 20 years ago(September 18, 2005 04:54 PM)
To shoot IN A WEEK (cool Dirty Harry isn't in the force anymore ;P)
1.Adam Sandler (for ALL this BAD,BAD,BAD movies)
2.the drummer guy from "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" (ANNOYING!!!!!)
3.Cedric,the Entertainer;Will Smith;Martin Lawrence (3 for a prize of 1)
4.Hulk Hogan (his reality show SUCKS!!)
5.Ben Affleck (one BULLET for each crap movie"Pearl Harbor","Dare Devil","Gigli","Sum of All Fears","Armageddon",etc,etc) -
jamesnelson417 — 20 years ago(September 30, 2005 11:41 PM)
My Dead Pool are these fools to kill in a week for comedic purpose:
- 50 cent: Never liked the bulletproof vest wearing stooge, never will.
- Miss Piggy: Even though she's a fake, the public looks at this foam body as a work of art. Excel Excel and Misaki from "Excel Saga" can challenge her, shoot the ham up, and cook her anytime.
- When that other dude talks about all reality stars should be killed, you got an exception: Donald Trump. He owns every damn thing! Send Vegeta to the boardrooom and he'll Galick Gun the hell outta him before the Don can say his catchphrase, and the Z Warriors will take over Trump's monopolies.
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mortgagemanmike2003 — 20 years ago(November 25, 2005 04:41 PM)
All right, I've been away for a while and I see we had some posts. I don't think anybody had any 'real' selections.
Check out WWW.melodyr.com
Anyway, there was some funny comments.. -
openstorage — 20 years ago(December 03, 2005 12:27 PM)
My five:
Chris Evans - Much loved DJ and Telly presenter over here in the UK. Dunno why, he's a borderline pedophile and absolute tosser. I did get chance to call him a tosser to his face once actully. I'm quite happy about that
George W Bush Jr - I wish he's choked to death on that bloody pretzel!
Michael Jackson - Pedo, creepy, nuff said!
Anna Nicole Smith - Braindead already, just needs the job finishing!
Jade Goddie - Irritating nobody who became famous after her appearence on Big Brother (UK) a few years ago. She's possible THE most irritating, minging and stupidest person on the face of the planet. -
dontdropthesoap84 — 20 years ago(January 04, 2006 09:37 AM)
1 Paris Hilton: As said earlier in this thread, shes famous for doing absolutely nothing. Ugh.
2. Lil Bow Wow: Stupid kid.
3. Massari: Poser tough guy.
4.Omarosa: Saw her on surreal life season five, what a bitch.
5. Any one from simple plan: Annoying artists with poser anthems.