Lieutenant Van Buren secrecy
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movieliker1 — 9 years ago(August 31, 2016 06:02 PM)
I agree with all that. But being professional and protecting her privacy is one thing. But refusing any information when it was clear something was going on was strangely obsessive. It began to affect her precinct. People were worried. And she still wouldn't give any explanation.
Even in the end she didn't want her precinct to give her a party. Her husband had to explain to her that they were worried before, they were relieved she had beaten the disease, and they cared about her. That was weird.
She was a a mother and a wife. You would think she would have understood. -
Xeliou66 — 9 years ago(September 01, 2016 06:42 AM)
Um, she didn't refuse information. She told her whole squad about her health issue in the first episode of season 20.
And I understand that she is reluctant that the detectives wanted to throw a party for her, she has always liked keeping her personal and professional lives separate. But it was a nice gesture from the detectives to have a fundraising party for her, she was definitely a well liked figure and it was a good way to end the series without it feeling unnatural or forced to have all the main characters in the same room.
I think you are just wanting to complain about something -
queenstar-931-989311 — 9 years ago(September 01, 2016 07:23 AM)
Xeliou said "I think you are just wanting to complain about something"
i totally agree with this. plus to repeat an opinion repeatedly as if no one got it the FIRST time, simply means "your" opinion is the only one that's correct. IMO this a person who
right fights
. it should be blatantly obvious that the replies indicate others understood "your" opinion and STILL disagreed with it.
it's only my personal opinion, no permission required to have it
queenstar -
movieliker1 — 9 years ago(September 07, 2016 04:21 PM)
Xeliou said "I think you are just wanting to complain about something"
i totally agree with this. plus to repeat an opinion repeatedly as if no one got it the FIRST time, simply means "your" opinion is the only one that's correct. IMO this a person whoright fights
. it should be blatantly obvious that the replies indicate others understood "your" opinion and STILL disagreed with it.
I don't agree with this. I am simply taking the time to reply personally to someone who took the time to reply to me. It is called polite etiquette. Something you obviously know nothing about. -
queenstar-931-989311 — 9 years ago(September 08, 2016 09:00 AM)
you don't have to agree and i didn't ask you to!! i stated MY opinion which i stand by. it is based on your insistence in repeating yourself numerous times as if your opinion is correct
or
others must agree
or
the most insulting and pathetic of all, others are too dumb to get it the FIRST time. i noticed neither etiquette NOR politeness involved.
just for your kind:
it's only my personal opinion, no permission required to have it
queenstar -
movieliker1 — 9 years ago(September 08, 2016 09:14 AM)
you don't have to agree and i didn't ask you to!! i stated MY opinion which i stand by. it is based on your insistence in repeating yourself numerous times as if your opinion is correctorothers must agreeorthe most insulting and pathetic of all, others are too dumb to get it the FIRST time. i noticed neither etiquette NOR politeness involved.
In case you haven't noticed, many posters don't read the whole thread (like apparently you do). They only read the post they are replying to and that's it. You can tell because they repeat the same responses others have made in the same thread. I was replying for their benefit.
Don't get so angry just because you don't know what you are talking about. You are still welcomed to participate at IMDb. Although it would help for you to be more understanding, tolerant and knowledgeable. -
queenstar-931-989311 — 9 years ago(September 11, 2016 09:51 AM)
you really are
!!!!! GIVE IT UP your opinion is NOT the only one, EVER. no lame excuses required, believed, and especially not accepted. thank you for the NOT requested or needed permission to participate though. i am not angry so don't get that twisted. i recognize and call bs when i read it.
i am understanding, tolerant, and knowledgeable that you RESENT my call on yours
it's only my personal opinion, no permission required to have it
queenstar -
movieliker1 — 9 years ago(September 07, 2016 04:17 PM)
That is fine if you don't agree. But, although I appreciate your opinion and I really do I still don't agree. I have the right to my opinion. And I have the right to disagree. That doesn't mean I am wanting to complain about something. It just means I don't agree.
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therealshapeshifter — 9 years ago(September 07, 2016 04:33 PM)
I made the mistake of blabbing in the work place about my diagnosis as soon as I knew. I've worked here 15 years, so we shared a lot.
Anyway, I quickly got an email from HR about it. 90 days later I lost a third of my income. If I'd been quiet, it wouldn't have happened. -
therealshapeshifter — 9 years ago(September 07, 2016 09:56 PM)
Actually, any law suit would be against my primary care provider who never diagnosed something that was growing for 7 years before I found one of several metastasized tumors. But I am doing miraculously well with just 2 months treatment left to go.
But it is not uncommon to keep a cancer diagnosis from employers as long as possible because once Long Term Disability kicks in, loss of a third of income is standard, and often loss of employer's health insurance contribution stops.
Van Buren's health expenses were paid by donations. -
therealshapeshifter — 9 years ago(September 08, 2016 04:44 PM)
I am happy to hear you are doing well with your treatment.
Are you on long term disability now? Did you, or do you qualify?
Yes, LTD kicked in after 16 weeks of chemo and major surgery. Because my employee handbook stated that health insurance was to continue, my HR person went to the top brass and got a 6 month extension for me after she learned that our insurance contract does not provide that.
In the episode where Van Buren gets a phone call while attending her surprise health expense fund raising party, she gets good news, and then I don't think we hear about it again, which didn't seem realistic, but it meant she was never had enough sick days to need LTD. I recall her saying she had maxed out what the insurance would pay. Our contract doesn't have that kind of max, fortunately.
Anyway, IRL I would have expected her to not go to work everyday while getting treatment, which speaks to your original question about secrecy. I think if they had shown her staying home and using "vacation time" so she wouldn't max out her sick days, the practical side of secrecy would have been more obvious. -
movieliker1 — 9 years ago(September 08, 2016 05:35 PM)
Yes, LTD kicked in after 16 weeks of chemo and major surgery. Because my employee handbook stated that health insurance was to continue, my HR person went to the top brass and got a 6 month extension for me after she learned that our insurance contract does not provide that.
Happy to hear things are working out for you. Sorry you had to go through that.
In the episode where Van Buren gets a phone call while attending her surprise health expense fund raising party, she gets good news, and then I don't think we hear about it again, which didn't seem realistic, but it meant she was never had enough sick days to need LTD. I recall her saying she had maxed out what the insurance would pay. Our contract doesn't have that kind of max, fortunately.
Anyway, IRL I would have expected her to not go to work everyday while getting treatment, which speaks to your original question about secrecy. I think if they had shown her staying home and using "vacation time" so she wouldn't max out her sick days, the practical side of secrecy would have been more obvious.
If I am not mistaken, that episode where Van Buren had her surprise support party and she got the "phone call", I believe that was the last episode before the show was canceled. There were no more episodes. So, they could not have addressed it further. -
therealshapeshifter — 9 years ago(September 08, 2016 07:36 PM)
If I am not mistaken, that episode where Van Buren had her surprise support party and she got the "phone call", I believe that was the last episode before the show was canceled. There were no more episodes. So, they could not have addressed it further
Ah. That makes sense. -
anbmom — 9 years ago(December 05, 2016 06:11 AM)
It is very hard being the only woman and also the one who is in charge. She can't afford to show any sign of weakness and being sick falls into that category. She also gets a cancer that was implied to have come from a sexually transmitted virus that her ex gave her. It's demeaning to her to have that type of cancer although we all know that it has no bearing on her as a person at all. One of the Captains made remarks to her about her cancer while she was fighting to take over a case involving another precinct when she thought no one really knew. As time goes on, you see her develop a more personal relationship with Lupo and (Anthony Andersen) as compared to her dealings with Lenny, Ray and Logan. Later one we see that she does have a closer relationship with Ray and she did seem to be affected by Lenny's retirement and Green's as well. The line between professional and personal is so much harder for woman in charge than for men.