The I hate Emily thread
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ImReallyANarc — 9 years ago(September 21, 2016 10:21 AM)
It would disrupt the group and, even if you don't like Rachel, Ross did. And even if he wasn't trying to form a relationship with her at the time he still wanted her friendship. That's what I mean by "rooting for" the same characters.
All he wanted was his best friend
and
wife; because he couldn't have both, most viewers blamed Emily even though Rachel's actions were the impetus in dissolving Ross' marriage. -
ppllkk — 9 years ago(September 21, 2016 11:02 AM)
ImReallyANarc
wrote:
because he couldn't have both, most viewers blamed Emily even though Rachel's actions were the impetus in dissolving Ross' marriage.
I agree with that. I just think it is grossly unfair to Emily and that annoys me.
All he wanted was his best friend and wife;
I would put that differently. I think that Ross wants a periodic fix of seeing the woman that he is compulsively in love with. I don't think "friendship" describes situation.
After writing this below, it occurs to me that I may be more arguing with other people that I am with you, but it is already written, so here it is.
even if you don't like Rachel, Ross did.
Ross is compulsively in love with a woman who doesn't want him but periodically gives him hope that maybe someday she will. I believe that Ross would be a lot better off with any number of other women.
His attraction to Rachel is not a rational matter and verges on the pathological as it continues over the years. It is a classic case of someone being in love with the wrong person and not being able to get over it.
And even if he wasn't trying to form a relationship with her at the time
Ross would always try to form a relationship with Rachel if there was some hint that she was available.
While the thing with Emily was going on, Rachel told Ross that she loved him. She took it back immediately, but she said it, and Ross heard it, and it has to have stuck in the back of his mind. I believe it was a major factor when Ross finally chose seeing Rachel over marriage to Emily.
he still wanted her friendship.
When you are obsessively in love with someone, you cannot just be friends with them at least while a large part of your mind still desperately wants them. The emotions are too strong. Ross may have thought that he could be married to Emily and friends with Rachel, but it doesn't work that way when you have a person stuck in your head.
Rachel was not "just a friend" for Ross, and there was no way that she could be in the foreseeable future. Maybe if she got married, and she was completely unavailable, but Rachel never had a serious relationship other than Ross in the series.
There is no way that Emily could have any confidence that Rachel was "just a friend." Ross demonstrated in London that Rachel was not "just a friend."
I think it is extremely unlikely that Rachel would have stayed out of the marriage if she was still seeing Ross. But even if she did, Emily would still see her as just waiting for her chance, and if her chance came, I am sure she would take it.
Ross understood about this situation earlier. Mark is clearly after Rachel, and it makes Ross very nervous that she is spending so much time around a man who is just waiting for his chance. He thought that he had it when he called Rachel's apartment, and she was upset. He went over even after being asked not to. He did not succeed but it was worth a try.
Here Ross is oblivious to Emily feeling the same way that he felt.
No one wants the person that they love to be spending a lot of time around someone who is after them. It isn't a matter of trust. It is a matter that sometimes things go wrong and having someone there waiting to pounce is not a good idea.
The bottom line is that Ross simply has to make a choice between Rachel and Emily. He can't have both. And he chooses Rachel and another five years of being led on by her.
When you get married, you are supposed to choose your wife over your friends. That does not happen here.
I probably should make this explicit. Rachel does not want to get back with Ross until the very end of the series. I believe she does not want to be seriously involved with anyone until she is ready to settle down. But she also does not want Ross to be unavailable if she decides that she wants him because he is married to someone else.
Thus she interferes with Ross's relationships but does not get back with him herself. That makes sense out of what happens. I don't know anything else that does other than Rachel being insane and vicious. -
ppllkk — 9 years ago(September 21, 2016 12:03 PM)
Let me add this.
ImReallyANarc
wrote:
most viewers blamed Emily even though Rachel's actions were the impetus in dissolving Ross' marriage.
It was Rachel's shenanigans that created the situation in which Emily did not want Ross around Rachel.
But what really did in the marriage is that Ross really didn't want to get over Rachel. Ross spent all of this time convincing Emily with great sincerity that she is the one that he wants, but it wasn't true, and he recognized that at the very last moment.
There are times that I think that he deserves Rachel. -
ImReallyANarc — 9 years ago(September 21, 2016 12:27 PM)
Oh most definitely. While I would say that Ross and Emily would have lasted much longer had Rachel
not
gone to London, the marriage was doomed to fail. Ross wasn't ready.
Anyway though I don't think I dislike Rachel as much as you do, I think you and I are mostly in agreement here! -
ppllkk — 9 years ago(September 21, 2016 12:48 PM)
ImReallyANarc
wrote:
I think you and I are mostly in agreement here!
I think we are. I am not that used to having people be in any sort of agreement with me.
the marriage was doomed to fail. Ross wasn't ready.
There we don't agree. Ross tells us in the pilot that he wants to be married that was right before Rachel appeared in a wedding dress having decided that she did not want to be married.
I think Ross wants very badly to be married. He wants to settle down. He wants a family. And he's a very flexible person who will make compromises to make a relationship work.
The best thing would've been if he had been willing to move to England. Then Rachel is completely out of the picture, and she will fade in his mind as she did after high school.
Following a suggestion by Tigerlily, I believe the major factor in his not being willing to move was not Ben, but that he wasn't willing to give up seeing Rachel. But even living in New York, I believe that it would've worked if Ross really wanted it to work, and he stayed away from Rachel. Emily clearly wants it to work.
P. S. Ross was married to Carol for seven years. He wanted the relationship to continue and only didn't because of something that was not even remotely Ross's fault.
I find it hard to say that Ross isn't ready for marriage to a normal, goodhearted woman. Emily is a normal goodhearted woman. Rachel isn't. -
mrssutherland2013 — 9 years ago(September 21, 2016 01:30 PM)
HOW on EARTH anyone can berate Emily for any of her actions, while forgiving Rachel's is absolutely beyond me.
People love to forget that Emily acted the way she did
because
of Rachel. Rachel was a nasty cow regarding her from the beginning, starting with the insane jealousy the Ross was in a "hotel in vermont".
Cue-how did this HAPPEN!!! I really feel like screaming at her-because YOU made Ross take her out so that YOU could spend the evening with YOUR love interest you selfish biatch lol
I don't blame Emily for any of her actions. Sure, to tell Ross she wants to know whee he is ALL THE TIME is a bit extreme, but, really can you blame her AT ALL?? Emily had no issue with Rachel before the wedding. And even after the wedding, she saw Rachel and Ross about to board a plane to HER honeymoon. (which I still think is the most stupid ridiculous decision either of them made btw)
And
Emily
is the one with the problem??!! Really??!!
cArNiVaLs oF fAyGo -
ppllkk — 9 years ago(September 21, 2016 01:43 PM)
mrssutherland2013
wrote:
HOW on EARTH anyone can berate Emily for any of her actions, while forgiving Rachel's is absolutely beyond me.
I don't understand it either, I keep thinking there should be some way to explain Emily's position to people, but I don't have much success.
Somehow, a lot of people can't put themselves in Emily's position. I find that easy to do.
Sure, to tell Ross she wants to know whee he is ALL THE TIME is a bit extreme,
I don't think she meant that literally though Ross took it literally as an excuse to start an argument with her and bail on his agreement with her.
She had just found Ross exactly where he had said he would not be, i.e., around Rachel, when she said it. I believe that Emily would've calmed down as she gained confidence in her relationship with Ross. And as Ross showed that he is going to stay away from Rachel. -
nataliadenise — 9 years ago(October 03, 2016 12:14 PM)
Great post. She was a little Harsh after the wedding but I really understood. Can you imagine if what happened to her happened to you? I would die.
Her biggest mistake was going through with a wedding to a man who never stopped being in love with a pretty terrible shrew. I never liked Rachel and Emily was a fresh breath of air. Which means I knew they would write her out and ruin her. -
ppllkk — 9 years ago(October 03, 2016 02:19 PM)
nataliadenise
wrote:
She was a little Harsh after the wedding
LOL
I think that "a little harsh" would've been Emily going after Ross's eyes with her fingernails.
She doesn't actually run away from Ross until he tries to pass off his saying the wrong name as a joke. I understand her reaction to that.
Can you imagine if what happened to her happened to you? I would die.
Yes, and if I had done it, I would want to kill myself.
Her biggest mistake was going through with a wedding to a man who never stopped being in love with a pretty terrible shrew.
Except that she doesn't know that. You can have someone stuck in your head the way that Ross does with Rachel, but want desperately to get them out.
The problem is that ultimately Ross does not want Rachel out of his head. There is no way that Emily could know that. Hell, Ross doesn't know that until Emily is on the verge of moving to New York.
Ross has spent a lot of time convincing himself that he is over Rachel before marrying Emily. He spends a lot of time convincing himself that he is over Rachel after coming back to New York. But it just isn't true.
At the last minute, Ross has to choose between marriage with Emily and being able to see Rachel whatever he wants. We know what he chose.
I agree with you about
PSYCHO BITCH
. -
ppllkk — 9 years ago(September 21, 2016 08:41 AM)
xMartyMcFlyx
wrote:
I just never liked her, she just comes off as a snobby bitch to me.
How many women do you think that you know who would show up at the airport roughly 12 hours after the man that they were marrying said the wrong name at the altar?
How many women do you think that you know who after showing up at the airport and seeing her husband and his ex-lover getting on the plane to go on her honeymoon would later agree to move to New York to try to make the marriage work?
She is amazingly forgiving woman.
I don't see anything snobbish about her, but Rachel is absolutely a Princess, a JAP.
As far as being a bitch goes, Rachel has got her all beat to hell. It is no contest. -
mrssutherland2013 — 9 years ago(September 21, 2016 02:39 PM)
Thank you, previous poster. Spot on.
I can't see people's thought processes regarding this, I really can't. As far as I'm concerned (and I'm not ALWAYS right lol) its a complete no brainer.
cArNiVaLs oF fAyGo -
Moonlighty — 9 years ago(October 03, 2016 02:59 PM)
I can't see people's thought processes regarding this, I really can't. As far as I'm concerned (and I'm not ALWAYS right lol) its a complete no brainer.
That doesn't make you sound good. Is it really impossible for you to see someone else's perspective?Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that I'll be over here looking through your stuff.
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ppllkk — 9 years ago(October 03, 2016 07:11 PM)
Moonlighty
wrote:
Is it really impossible for you to see someone else's perspective?
Doesn't that rather depend on the other person's perspective. I cannot understand the perspective of people who think that the earth is flat. I cannot understand the perspective of people who think the moon landing was faked.
In this particular case, I cannot understand the perspective of people who are incapable of putting themselves in Emily's position and so blame her for trying to save her marriage.
I suppose you can understand anyone's perspective on anything by saying that they are just nuts. But in general, it needs to be a perspective that makes sense, not something that is just off-the-wall. -
xMartyMcFlyx — 9 years ago(September 21, 2016 02:38 PM)
I would also to like to add that part of the reason I hate Emily is because everyone hated her except Ross. Don't you remember the episode where Joey kept trying to tell Ross but Phoebe kept pinching him? He literally came out and said "we al hate Emily!" if I'm not mistaken
And what I meant by her suddenly barging into Ross' life so suddenly out of nowhere was that she just shows up one day at Monica's apartment acting like a complete bitch, granted I think she was covered in rain or something at the time, but Ross rushed into a relationship with her and decided he wanted to marry her after like 2 weeks? He has been in love with Rachel since high school. I'm glad Ross and Rachel ended up together in the end. Even though sleeping with the girl from the copy place when they were "on a break" was wrong Ross felt guilty about it and knew it was wrong. Rachel is just as faulty as Ross is in so many ways, but I think they belonged together. -
Painbow — 9 years ago(September 21, 2016 02:55 PM)
Joey said they all hated Emily.
Chandler responded with shock at a this statement, Phoebe screams "no!" and then Monica explains that they don't all hate Emily, they just hate the situation.
Joey was just a little confused (as usual).