Honey why do you think I keep your picture in my wallet?
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DracTarashV — 10 years ago(December 01, 2015 07:30 PM)
I can think of so many, but I'm going to pick a favorite that doesn't get mentioned that much (or at all). In "Hood 'n the Boyz" when Al goes to help his childhood sweetheart with her problem
Al: "Say little girl, you look familiar. Uh, you wouldn't happen to be Mary Ellen's daughter by any chance?"
Jackie: "Me? Nah. I'm Jackie. Her niece."
Al (in his head): "Yes! I knew it! My dream girl is still untouched."
Jackie: "All of aunt Mary's kids are grown."
Al (in his head): "Ah well, what did you expect? Same little virgin you used to walk to school So someone else touched her, what difference does it make? Damn slut."
Mary Ellen: "Hi, Al."
Al: "Oh, Mary Ellen! Well, y-you don't look like a slut at all."
This one makes me laugh every time (probably rings true for some of us).
Hey there, Johnny Boy, I hope you fry! -
jrsl88 — 10 years ago(December 06, 2015 05:09 PM)
From It's A Bundyful Life:
Kelly:
I just wanted to tell you I just got a call from the doctor and um, I'm dying. Yep, I've got Bulgaria. The doctor says that it's terminus.
Licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets -
ben-thayer — 10 years ago(January 09, 2016 12:13 PM)
(The episode
Kelly Breaks Out
where Al and Jefferson order VHS tapes of The Avengers. Al is waxing poetic on Emma Peel's outfit and her high kicks.)
Al: "We have to order this! To the phones!"
Bud: "Has it occurred to either of you rutabagas that the woman may be pushing 200 by now? Pounds and years."
Al: "That's why you look at them on tape, son. If I only had to look at your mother on tape, I'd still be having sex with her." -
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karimamin2 — 10 years ago(January 15, 2016 05:43 AM)
There are so many. I am watching it now and it's the episode Marcy crashes Steve's Mercedes and is hiding with Al and Peggy. Steve just finds out the damage and is in the garage screaming and she says that she'll just make love to steve for a week and he'll forget all about it. Peggy grabs Al's hand and they look at each other and she says, "The last time Al and I spent a week in the bedroom, was when we were hiding from the kids because we forgot about christmas." Then they started to giggle. OMG I died.
Love sports? Play on FanDuel
https://www.fanduel.com/?invitedby=karimamin&cnl=da -
fiatlux-1 — 10 years ago(April 02, 2016 06:48 PM)
When Al is sarcastically berating Peggy for what he could have been:
Al: "Well gee Peg, if I hadn't met you I would have lived out a meaningless existence ordering hookers & pizza till I dropped dead.
With a slice in my mouth & a greasy hooter in my hand!"
I'd say this cloud is Cumulo Nimbus.
Didn't he discover America?
Penfold, shush. -
slee406-588-188027 — 9 years ago(April 19, 2016 05:56 AM)
Any of Al's a fat woman came in the shoe store lines like
A fat woman came in the shoe store and said I need something to make me look smaller I said how about China.
or Kelly applying for the job in the diner
owner: what makes you think you have what it takes to be a burger waitress let me see your application, it's blank, Ya you have what it takes to be a burger waitress. -
BHt88 — 9 years ago(May 02, 2016 08:32 PM)
the ma'am gang buying things @ the just store
*just oreo filling (Jefferson )
BHT RISES myspace.com/blackheart60 -
udonome86 — 9 years ago(May 20, 2016 08:02 AM)
So many great lines, one that comes to mind is when Kelly was a girl I haven't seen it in a while but it went somthing like this:
There is a strom coming to chic-a-go
Chicago!
(sounding scared) oh no theres a strom comming to us?! whats a strom?
Storm!!
Winds up to 30 mouffs
Thats miles per hour you idiot!
I'm not an idiot I happen to be a meter-la-law-a-ist
Anyways strung cluads are forming
Clouds! strung cloulds! -
gridoon — 9 years ago(May 27, 2016 01:15 AM)
Peggy: How come you never take me to the beach?
Al: What for? You'd still find your way home!
Kid: Hey, are you one of those dinosaurs that spits?
Al: No.
Kid: Well I am!
Peggy: What are you doing up at this hour, Al?
Al: That damn Marcy got me so nervous that I can't sleep.
Peggy: I know a way to make you sleep.
Al: Thanks Peg. Now I can't eat!
If a cow says Moo, does a Moo say cow?
Al (as the Phantom of the Opera): I'll just sit here and play with my organ! -
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gridoon — 9 years ago(September 05, 2016 02:41 PM)
Carlos (to Kelly): Your father is a wise man. He reeks of wisdom.and of something else I cannot identify!
Al: There are two young, eager boys hanging around us. You know what that makes us?
Griff: Michael Jackson??? -
fiatlux-1 — 9 years ago(September 09, 2016 04:50 PM)
Even though I generally dislike the drawn-out episodes where Al & Peg go to marriage counseling, I lose it when Al snaps: "Just a minute, Dr. Skip-To-M-Lou!"
I'd say this cloud is Cumulo Nimbus.
Didn't he discover America?
Penfold, shush.