Honey why do you think I keep your picture in my wallet?
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slee406-588-188027 — 9 years ago(April 19, 2016 05:56 AM)
Any of Al's a fat woman came in the shoe store lines like
A fat woman came in the shoe store and said I need something to make me look smaller I said how about China.
or Kelly applying for the job in the diner
owner: what makes you think you have what it takes to be a burger waitress let me see your application, it's blank, Ya you have what it takes to be a burger waitress. -
BHt88 — 9 years ago(May 02, 2016 08:32 PM)
the ma'am gang buying things @ the just store
*just oreo filling (Jefferson )
BHT RISES myspace.com/blackheart60 -
udonome86 — 9 years ago(May 20, 2016 08:02 AM)
So many great lines, one that comes to mind is when Kelly was a girl I haven't seen it in a while but it went somthing like this:
There is a strom coming to chic-a-go
Chicago!
(sounding scared) oh no theres a strom comming to us?! whats a strom?
Storm!!
Winds up to 30 mouffs
Thats miles per hour you idiot!
I'm not an idiot I happen to be a meter-la-law-a-ist
Anyways strung cluads are forming
Clouds! strung cloulds! -
gridoon — 9 years ago(May 27, 2016 01:15 AM)
Peggy: How come you never take me to the beach?
Al: What for? You'd still find your way home!
Kid: Hey, are you one of those dinosaurs that spits?
Al: No.
Kid: Well I am!
Peggy: What are you doing up at this hour, Al?
Al: That damn Marcy got me so nervous that I can't sleep.
Peggy: I know a way to make you sleep.
Al: Thanks Peg. Now I can't eat!
If a cow says Moo, does a Moo say cow?
Al (as the Phantom of the Opera): I'll just sit here and play with my organ! -
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gridoon — 9 years ago(September 05, 2016 02:41 PM)
Carlos (to Kelly): Your father is a wise man. He reeks of wisdom.and of something else I cannot identify!
Al: There are two young, eager boys hanging around us. You know what that makes us?
Griff: Michael Jackson??? -
fiatlux-1 — 9 years ago(September 09, 2016 04:50 PM)
Even though I generally dislike the drawn-out episodes where Al & Peg go to marriage counseling, I lose it when Al snaps: "Just a minute, Dr. Skip-To-M-Lou!"
I'd say this cloud is Cumulo Nimbus.
Didn't he discover America?
Penfold, shush. -
jpercy-200-519474 — 9 years ago(November 16, 2016 02:44 PM)
Al to peggy- gonna get me a big boy socket wrench set, it will be great im gonna go round this house and tighten more nuts than you did in high school!
Al's face after he delivers that line is priceless just looking at her trying not to crack up! -
iamtherealbg — 9 years ago(November 18, 2016 07:21 PM)
Loved that line about tightening nuts.
How about when Al gets glasses and he notices the gal that's been talking to him at the mall in front of the shoe store.
"Today I got a good look at her. And you know something? She was Forty! Forty! She's not a girl." (Winces-then almost disgusted) "She's a woman."
When Al and Jefferson are trying to do home repairs. Al's holding a drill to a board which Jefferson is holding against his chest.
Marcy: You can almost hear the theme to Looney Tunes.