with the first thread being closed for some reason
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Ceer — 11 years ago(March 11, 2015 06:34 AM)
The bad/good guy is in handcuffs. He's not dangerous now, whew! What's this? He's dislocated his thumb and now he's free and taking down the no name, ineffective guards. Or he has a piece of metal his hidden in his mouth and just by wiggling it in the key hole he's unlocked it. Or without any explanation except "he's that good" he shows the guards his handcuffs are unlocked and as they stare at him not comprehending the situation he kills or knocks them unconscious.
The first rule of Don't Talk About Us Club is: No fighting. -
Good-Will — 10 years ago(June 18, 2015 06:51 PM)
^^You could probably summarise this as:
Anyone can pick a police/prison handcuff lock as long as they have something a bit thin and pointy.
Cheers, Will
If the opposite of Love is indifference, what's the opposite of Hate? -
R-Tune — 10 years ago(June 21, 2015 07:45 AM)
R-Tune
I've recently watched '
One Day
' with an insistence of my friend and that movie was full of clichés.. My friend told me that she liked it but I really didn't like it because I think director was probably unprepared while he was filming the movie. Lots of clichés.. -
Ceer — 10 years ago(July 25, 2015 10:11 PM)
When a character's life is in tatters they explode and rage and smash the mirror. They then look into the mirror and it reflects their image- a symbol of their life shattered into hundreds of pieces.
My counter argument is that I'm offended. -
kya1 — 10 years ago(August 12, 2015 12:43 PM)
Similar to this, a woman, upon hearing bad/nasty/insulting news from the man will get angry, scream and shout, and pound at the man with her fists. He will hold his hands up to defend himself and/or grab her wrists. As she becomes more and more upset, she will burst into tears, stop fighting, and he will hug her.
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TheEvilFookaire — 10 years ago(October 15, 2015 04:16 AM)
Chinese food: There are two people eating Chinese food, yet judging by the visible number of white boxes, they have enough food to feed a dozen people. Chinese food is
only
eaten by using chopsticks, and you will
never
see a character who doesn't know how to use these utensils.
Yoga classes: The participants will
always
be told at some point to assume the Downward-facing Dog position.
Stubbly men: No woman kissing a man with two or three days' worth of facial hair will ever feel like she's just buried her face into a porcupine.
Disarming villains: Any semi-automatic pistol taken from a temporarily incapacitated bad guy can be rendered permanently useless by ejecting the ammunition magazine and racking the slide to eject the bullet in the chamber. The hero can then just drop the gun right next to the bad guy and walk away because the bad guy will
never
be able to just re-insert the magazine into the gun, and rack the slide to chamber a round.
Daytime thunderstorms: Rain may be coming down in buckets and the wind may be blowing at a hundred miles per hour, but fifty feet away in the background, the sun is shining and the air is calm. -
Ceer — 10 years ago(November 05, 2015 03:47 PM)
You've seen it- the little bar that slowly drags across the computer screen showing the progress of the copying. But in movies and television that percent of the copying is sssssssllllllloooooooowwwwwww. And since it is so slow that leave the one coping helpless as he or she watches the slow crawl. The one that is making the copy is always under pressure and just about to be discovered. Their partner who is speaking to them through a blue tooth or some other high tech gadget is telling them to abort. But they always make it just in time to escape the guard or the returning bad guy. Sometimes the bad guy will pause when he opens the door as if he senses that someone was just there. Another scenario is that the bad guy walks through the door and our hero is calmly sitting there like they were waiting for the bad guy with an innocent excuse about wanting to talk to them.
My counter argument is that I'm offended. -
tuula-1 — 10 years ago(November 17, 2015 04:33 PM)
No-one ever backs up files properly - I watched 1st episode of Flash and soon after Daredevil: Flash - "oh stop thief, the laptop has my dissertation!" Right, you ARE a moron, how did you ever write a dissertation? In DD, some file is in a memory stick and it must be found, etc, only copy !
Cloud storage, people! -
pjmcgill142 — 10 years ago(December 14, 2015 04:00 AM)
Does anyone in an American movie use the handbrake?
And all cops in nightclubs notice the bad guys who are wearing coats because it's always June and isn't it a little warm to be wearing a jacket in June? There's never a cold snap it's just June! -
Ceer — 10 years ago(December 16, 2015 02:34 PM)
The protagonist is suffering a horrible nightmare. The scene cuts to him/her sitting in bed sweating and screaming. He/she then turns to their partner lying in bed next to them and we find out the nightmare isn't over when the partner is covered in blood or turns into a monster or something equally nightmarish. The protagonist then sits up again sweating and screaming.
My counter argument is that I'm offended. -
mrjeff2u — 10 years ago(January 08, 2016 06:19 PM)
I don't think I have ever seen a pillow fight that does not end with the pillows opening and feathers flying out creating a mess. EVER! Usually the fighters collapse in laughter instead of being angry about the mess they have just created. Doesn't anyone have foam filled pillows? Why are the seams on pillows so fragile?
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mrjeff2u — 10 years ago(March 26, 2016 03:06 PM)
I have finally seen the cliche I listed broken! At the end of a recent episode of The Muppets TV series there is a sexy fight at Gonzo's apartment between two bikini clad models and Camila the chicken. At the end the models question why there are feathers with memory foam pillows and the camera pans down to the naked chicken. Well done Muppets!
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Ceer — 10 years ago(February 15, 2016 05:36 PM)
I found this list and thought it was pretty funny as it is filled with anti-clichés. Sorry it's not numbered my copy/paste failed to pick up them up.
The Top 100 Things I'd Do
If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord
My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.
My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.
Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.
I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.
When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."
After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.
I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.
I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.
I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.
One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.
The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.
I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.
I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."
When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.
I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.
I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.
Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.
I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.
No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.
I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.
I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)
No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.
No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber.
I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.
My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape -
Ceer — 10 years ago(February 23, 2016 04:33 PM)
That something is rarely even told following that line. It is usually followed by a phone call, a knock on the door, someone else entering the room, etc. Even after that interruption the subject isn't returned to until a much later date if ever.
My counter argument is that I'm offended. -
MissLiberty816 — 10 years ago(February 29, 2016 01:50 PM)
The "good" wife is always named Claire, and the "good" daughter is always named Sarah. The bad wife smokes cigarettes, wears tank tops with her bra straps showing and is always named Sheila or some other shanty Irish name.
The number one cliché always: the good guy/girl whacks the bad guy over the head, he falls down, and THEY TURN THEIR BACK ON HIM!