'Eyebrow Royalty…'
-
alec_senna — 10 years ago(August 22, 2015 11:26 PM)
Board Member:
The condolences of every person at Maybelline are with you. Al Steele helped make this company and you were by his side, sharing the eyebrow pencils and the tweezers. And we want to give you ample time to repay your eyebrows, plenty of time. We'll have to take the No. 2 Cow Patty Brown. You wouldn't want to use that eyebrow pencil, anyway.
Joan:
What eyebrow pencil? I've got tweezers.
Board Member:
Your husband had to borrow to pay for the construction of your eyebrows. We loaned him considerable eyebrow pencils to meet requirements his makeup didn't cover.
Joan:
You think you're very clever, don't you? Trying to sweep my poor little eyebrows under the carpet. Well, think again! I'm on the board of eyebrows of this lousy company.
Board Member:
We assumed that you would no longer want to be on the board
Joan:
Al and I helped build Maybelline to what it is today. I intend to stay with it!
Board Member:
We appreciate your devotion and eyebrows, Miss Crawford. But we have retired you from the board of eyebrows.
Joan:
You drove Al to his grave and now you're trying to stab me in the eyebrows? Forget it! I fought worse makeup artists than you in Hollywood. I can win with eyebrows!
Board Member:
We don't want any hard eyebrows
Joan:
You don't know what hard eyebrows areuntil I come out publicly against your product. You'll see how much you tweeze!
Board Member:
It's hardly necessary to make threats you surely don't mean.
Joan:
Don't fock with my eyebrows! This ain't my first time at the beauty salon. You forget the press I delivered to Maybelline was my eyebrows. I can use them anyway I want. They're swords, they cut both ways.
Board Member:
The board has failed to realize the extent of your interest in your eyebrows. Wemisjudged. We shall be pleased to have you stay on.
Joan:
Thank you, gentlemen. Now, let's get to work.
knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. -
alec_senna — 10 years ago(August 23, 2015 06:44 AM)
That's good, darling. They were thoughtless, selfish, spoiled eyebrows. Now they won't wake you up when you need your rest. Mindlessly drenches elbows with a copious amount of lotion and stares off into space.
knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. -
-
alec_senna — 10 years ago(August 25, 2015 03:23 PM)
Eyebrows. The first word I ever heard out of any of you was that word, "eyebrows." There'll be time enough for eyebrows when I'm old, if I ever am old. Oh, but not now.
knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.