Things We Learned From The Brave One
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kataze85 — 15 years ago(June 07, 2010 08:08 PM)
- If you see 3 drunken latinos looking to mug you, just give them what they want. Either that or buy a gun and kill them all.
- Once you get brutally attacked in New York and end up in a coma, expect to get involved in a shoot out between two random people in corner shop, to shoot a curb crawler that tries to run you over, and being f!cked with a knife by two black guys on the subway, upon waking up from your coma.
- If you don't have a licence to buy a gun in America, a Chinese guy will sell you one for $1000 and he'll throw in the bullets for free as well.
- Stoner kids always register their Ipods so that if the police find it at a crime scene, they will always be able to find the owner and bring them in for questioning.
- Stoner kids always see Jennifer Aniston in their minds.
- Make friends with a cop and he'll let you kill your enemies, heck he'll even let you shoot him to get away.
- If you have a voice like Jodie Foster's, people will think you are really 100 times uglier and 100 pounds fatter than you really are.
- If you get hit by a crowbar in the head and fall off the building, the police at the scene of the crime will joke about which one actually killed you.
- Your next door neighbour is actually a professional nurse who doesn't want you to smoke anymore.
- Don't you know there's a ****ing leash law?!
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canwriter2 — 14 years ago(August 11, 2011 06:32 PM)
- radio people always carry around sound equipment
- everywhere you go in new york city violent crime will find you
- pawn shop owners never break the law
- You too can be a vigilante its easy and you can get away with it
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dalldorfw — 15 years ago(January 08, 2011 09:05 PM)
I only have a couple
- Street thugs who rape and kill for pleasure will become enraged if you fail to obey the city's leash-laws.
- A stoner who's life is being threatened, will always take the time to observe the ass of a woman nearest to him. Even if she's sitting.
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RoboScott1 — 15 years ago(January 26, 2011 04:00 PM)
- Mobile phone connections are a lot faster in the USA than they are in the UK.
- If you've just robbed a sleazy pervert at gunpoint, always walk directly in front of his car straight afterwards as you make your escape.
- Cops always get there just in time.
- Listeners to a radio show are poised ready with a phone in their hands to phone in if ever a 'Call In' feature is added to the usual talk show, plus they can dial the number as it is being read out so that they are there by the end of the DJ's sentence.
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sights0d — 14 years ago(July 18, 2011 07:41 PM)
- The stress from PTSD can be adequately simulated by twisting your head to look at everything from an odd angle.
- If you lose a month or two of your life to a serious incident, your job will be waiting for you upon your return.
- Lightning strikes twice. Being accosted by thugs happens at least five times that.
- You will not survive 30 days.
- If you point a gun at someone who is trying to sell you a gun, he will be understanding because you're so inexperienced.
- Smoking is, as has been noted, a tough way to die.
- She's right for not letting you see your kids. Because you're a douchebag. And you have an ugly haircut which only serves to enhance the bulge of your oddly shaped forehead.
- Yes, a nice fully-clothed shower after your first killing is nice and relaxing.
- New York is an organism. A mutant organism, apparently.
- Some people believe that New York is safe. These people also believe in Santa Clause and often frequent Central Park after dark.
(and that's all within the first 48 minutes, including commercials)
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Eightythreeyearoldguy — 14 years ago(August 22, 2011 08:23 AM)
- If you allow lots of dead air on a radio show, the listeners will love it and flood the station manager with praise for it.
- Talking to a person's mirror image is more effectibe than talking directly to him or her.
- If you flee from a scene leaving your dog behind, don't worry because he'll manage to break loose and follow you.
- Cops don't appreciate amateurs doing their jobs for them.
Life, every now and then, behaves as though it had seen too many bad movies
Kudos, my good sir.