1000 Things I Learned…
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BruceB2534 — 14 years ago(April 26, 2011 09:16 AM)
- A super advanced extra-terrestrial race will come to earth and use the brains from a race that has managed only to make it to their own moon.
- After managing to stay somewhat safe within a building, you should run out into the open to get to another building with monstars all around.
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mic7440 — 14 years ago(April 28, 2011 10:57 AM)
- Your girlfriend will be more angry with you for NOT telling her about the huge job offer in LA that you had no idea about than for replying with an "oh beep to her "I'm late" announcement.
- Always fight giant floating aliens head on. They won't think to use one of their 50 tentacles to sneak up behind you
- If you're the main character, your brain will unexplainably be red instead of blue like the supporting cast in your life.
- Just because aliens have giant floating indestructible self-repairing ships that are capable of traveling from places we can't even see, while transporting their entire army along with the tech to extricate human brains DOES NOT automatically mean that they have infrared or body heat signature tech like our army doestherefore you can hide behind anything from counters to bed sheets.
- Yell at your life long best friend for coming out of his own bathroom AFTER he just brought you out to his penthouse in LA on his dime, partied with you all day, and offered you the career of a lifetimehe'll just hold his head down in shame, pout his lips, and walk away looking sad.
- Go ahead and turn down the hott brunette who wants to bang you even tho you already been banging her and even took pics of it. And when you turn her down, make sure to look like you're taking the better road.
- Give your girlfriend the camera with evidence that you been cheating on her and let her look through it. Hopefully she won't notice anything suspiciouslike you kissing on her assistant's neck.
- Aliens are attacking. Let's all argue over who agrees with who. No need to sit down and construct a solid plan of survival for my pregnant girlfriend.
- Let's go out yet again and try to escape the aliens who have proven that they are everywhere. And let's leave all the kitchen knives in the kitchen, hopefully we won't need them.
- Aliens are attacking. I've been arguing with the only person who has some sense of survival. Hey, it's my turn to offer a suggestion. I know I know, let's try to make it to the boats again.
- Aliens are attacking and I'm stuck in a penthouse with some jerk, his pregged g/f and a hott blondeI know, I'll stay up and keep watch and I'll ask the jerk to have my back instead of trying to convince the hott blonde to keep watch with me so I can hopefully bang her before I die
- Keep your girlfriend or wife pregnant. Apparently that's the only thing about her that's gonna be an advantage if aliens attack.
- Women, if you ain't knocked up you're gonna be useless and die a horrible deathsorry.
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mic7440 — 14 years ago(April 29, 2011 12:12 AM)
- All black men regardless of their lot in life have a firearm stashed somewhere that nobody knows about.
- When the armed black man shows up to save you during an alien invasion, you should look at the gun, act startled and slightly uncomfortable and say "why do you have a gun?" instead of thanking your lucky stars that you have a weapon to fight with.
- Aliens can't hear, therefore it is perfectly safe to breathe heavily and loudly shush others while ducking behind a counter.
- Aliens will always be crude looking terrifying beasts that have no way of communicating with us despite all their advanced weaponry and tech.
- Aliens haven't learned how to blend in and be inconspicuoustherefore, there will always be a fight that they may possibly lose.
- Aliens have digestive tracts that go straight to their brainsso just make sure you have a red brain so you can take over their body when they eat it.
- When the air force attacks, you will just so happen to be in the same cityand your tv screen will have excellent footage of the entire ordeal.
- Yell "everybody get down" AFTER the nuke hitsno need to warn people beforehand.
- Nuclear fallout, radiation, and impact shock is a mythyou should be fine in seconds.
- The car you're driving can be smashed by a giant alien foot and you can be dropped out of the car from 10 ft and still have the wits and endurance to run, dodge, and roll while they attack you
- Tell your friend to get the H E double hockey sticks outta they way while you're running from an alien
- Bang the hott blonde as soon as the opportunity presents itself while you're still alive
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hillbillyfisherman — 14 years ago(April 29, 2011 09:26 PM)
- If you're an alien species depending on your first primary attack being people seeing your glowing blue light, attack at 4 am, I'm sure people will be awake.
- Inexplicably be awake at 4 am conveniently enough to get abducted by the worst first strike scenario ever
- Aliens are all over this roof, let's run in circles screaming
- When in doubt, use a fire axe
- Show no shame for robbing dozens of blockbuster films blind of their original creature design and integral plot points.
"Is it dead?"-David Della Rocco
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aoc777 — 14 years ago(May 02, 2011 04:16 AM)
Thank you for the good advice; when my alien overlords come to harvest brains, I think I will advise them to go for dolphins and whales, because should they absorb the brains of the script writers of Skyline by accident - oh the inhumanity!
71. Lot's of admittedly very good effects make up for a lack of story. If only R. Emmerich knew this
72. Being exposed to an alien light source will get you possessed.
73. A brick and fists do more damage than an axe.
74. A gas explosion (stove top) is more effective than a bazooka. -
baue1446 — 14 years ago(May 03, 2011 04:19 PM)
- Having your GF find pictures of you making out with your assistant that NEVER happened in the movie (theatrical release any way)
- Aliens continuously look for people in a hotel over and over and over again in the desperate attempt to find a person once and a while instead of moving on to the millions of suburbs to be found all over the country
- Military leaders feel that a few land troops armed with bazookas and m16s on a random un secure hotel roof will be more effective than a nuclear weapon and an efficient use of the remaining military personal left on earth
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kaliphornia_dreemin — 14 years ago(May 07, 2011 08:43 AM)
- Apparently, some aliens look like man-eating vaginas.
- Aliens don't appreciate the value of fast, expensive cars.
- Aliens are color blind. Red brain? Eh, it's still a brain, I guess.
- Eric Balfour isn't any better looking as an alien.
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morph85 — 14 years ago(May 07, 2011 05:39 PM)
- If you wake up in the middle of the night and you see an inexplicably bright blue light you'll think it's morning.
- If aliens try to hypnotize you and you manage to escape twice, you'll get superhuman strength as a bonus.
- After an alien mother-ship kidnaps some hundred thousand (or few million) people it will take its time and go out of its way to suck out a couple more.
- Space traveling aliens don't have any fire power whatsoever, only a blue bright light and muscle force.
- The only guy with survival instincts will finally decide to commit suicide if the hot blonde next to him will die.
- If you decide to blow yourself up using the gas in the kitchen be sure to have a cigarette in your mouth for dramatic effect.
- If aliens take over your town and you're stupid enough to try and make a run for it, be sure that you'll meet other idiots like you who thought to do the same thing.
- If the father of your unborn baby is not ready to start a family yet be sure to follow him in his suicide mission even if you think it's a stupid idea.
- LA hotshots will always ride in an alien invaded city in style.
- If aliens take over a huge city and kidnap everybody in sight be sure you can outsmart them by driving your way to the harbor in a convoy.
- If hiding can save your life, make a run for it!
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