favorite quotes
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tfrazier — 21 years ago(January 07, 2005 11:28 PM)
"Jesus loves winners!"
"Once a carnie, always a carnie."
"Jesus!, did they have a sell on dull needles at Wal-Mart?"
"You have a super day too!"
"They'll never let you perform naked, I already asked!"
"You know they only had me because Peter needed that Kidney."
"Well you know what dadPeter is gay!!!! GAY!!!!!!
"She should have shoved yhat lucky bolt down her throat for good luck."
"You don't know what Jiffy Pop feels like!"
"I'm just here too look at the girlsumm contestants."
"You have a camera, no one's accusing you of anything!"
"He can't help it that he's crazier than a sh*t house rat!" -
oconn — 21 years ago(January 18, 2005 10:51 PM)
"She clung to your tap shoes while flying through the air like a G*dd@mn lawn dart!"
"Boys get out outta Mount Rose all the time for hockey scholarships..or prison"
"If it's another stray bullet to the head, I'm gonna need more caps."
"Best d@mn tapper most smartest"
"Jesus, Mary and Joseph! She's pregnant!"
"Mom still cries every time she sees a tilt-a-whirl or a fat lady in a tube top"
"It's hard to see the young ones called home. Especially on an exploding thresher. it's just so odd and gross!"
"I owe my life to that deaf baby."
"The swan ate my baby!!!"
"Oh crap! I'm probably gonna have to work at the funeral home. It's our busy time of yearhunting season"
Iris "What's sick is women dressing like men!" Gladys "You betcha Iris! And we don't have a 'back room' at our video store. The filth is better left to the Sin Cities" Iris "AKA Minneapolis/ St. Paul"
"You'd think the Mall of America would have the Parking Lot of America to go with it"
Iris "It's a $200.00 fine!" Gladys "I'll move the car if a cripple comes"
"The family's steamin' like a cow pie in July!" -
reppietar — 21 years ago(January 20, 2005 02:02 PM)
"ENGLISH! English you stupid little retard!"
"And YOU, You piece of beep trailer trash, that shoulda been you up there. Dammit, i shoulda killed you when I had the chance, just like your little friend. OHHH Tammy was oooone CRISPY CRITTER up on that thresher! DING! Fries are up!"
hahaha -
mnchick — 21 years ago(February 08, 2005 05:30 AM)
Amber: MOM! MOM!
Fireman: Hold it, are you a relative?
Loretta: No, she screaming MOM, MOM because she's got turets!
Amber: We'll be right behind you in the hearse!
Loretta: Don't let that worry you, Annette! -
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Rbennettdancer22 — 21 years ago(March 03, 2005 09:23 AM)
This whole movie is my favorite quote. Here's a few I haven't seen yet.
Gladys: Sidewalks Father Donovan! SIDEWALKS!!
Iris: Glug glug glug
Gladys: Now Iris, it's not his fault. The communal wine just proves too tempting.
Iris: That's why we Lutherans use grape Kool-Aid for the blood of christ.
Gladys: It's so hard to see the young ones called home. But, the show must go on! -
chico_sunshine — 21 years ago(March 10, 2005 07:21 PM)
"Harold? Harold? Harold? I want the big bag of little donuts"
"Tendu, Close. Tendu, Close. Tendu, Close, Plie. Other Side."
"We're happier than the day Hankie got acquitted!"
"If they ask you to take your top off, get the money first."
Loretta to the TV camera: "I got some!"
Amber: "You shouldn't be back here."
Off-Camera: "It's cool, Doreen gave us hairnets." -
klmnumbers — 21 years ago(March 12, 2005 06:42 PM)
Voice of Documentarian: So what was the theme of the pageant last year?
Gladys Leeman: Last year? It was, "Buy American."
Voice of Documentarian: And the year before that?
Gladys Leeman: "U.S.A. is A-okay."
Voice of Documentarian: Can you remember the theme of your favorite pageant?
Gladys Leeman: "Can I? I'm Amer-I-Can!" People ask me where I get this. I don't know, it's, maybe a gift from God or somethin'.
Harold Vilmes: Don't make me kick ya where the good Lord split ya.
Gladys Leeman: He sells reproductions! His furniture's as fake as my orgasms! -
ppulliam82 — 21 years ago(March 17, 2005 09:47 PM)
I have to say first that I love this ENTIRE movie but one part that my friends and I are constantly quoting is the part where the Asian family is being interviewed with the adopted American daughter and it goes somethin' like this:
Mom: "Oh that-a Garth Brooksrrrrfff!"
Dad: "Hey what-a he got that-a I don't got?"
Asian daughter: (speaks in native dialect)
Dad: "ENGLISH YOU IDIOT!"
"Excuse much, rude or anything?" - Kristy Swanson (The ORIGINAL Buffy) -
miLE_long_eChO — 21 years ago(April 08, 2005 04:11 PM)
Adam West: Even dubbed computer voice BEAUTIFUL MOUNT ROSE, MINNESOTA. Which one of you will it b
TV switches to Days Of Our Lives
Voice: Like sands through the hour glass, these are the days of our lives.
Gladys: Christ, Iris. You taped your shows over it?
Iris: I'm sorry.
goes over to TV and shuts it off
Hysterical! Absolutely classic. Gotta love this movie.
"But I caught him in the autumn in my garden one night. He was robbing me. Raping me. Rooting through my rootabega, raiding my arugala, and ripping up my rampion (my champion, my favorite)." -The Witch, Into The Woods