Choosing to do heroin…
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Danimal_77 — 11 years ago(September 18, 2014 01:25 AM)
Man, your comments just keep outdoing the last in the stupidity department, don't they? Yes, I can debate you on more of an intellectual level, but something tells me you would have to "experience more life" to be able to accomplish that task with any form of success.
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eYeDEF — 12 years ago(February 09, 2014 08:47 AM)
Is there a, "Sure, other people get addicted to it, but it won't happen to me!" mentality behind that first time? If so, there's a real narcissism in that.
Sometimes. Or there's just a neglect to even think that far ahead.
Is there a, "I'll cross that bridge when I get to it." mentality (regarding the likelihood of addiction)? If so, that's a short-sighted, live-for-the-moment mentality that's careless and immature.
Again, thinking "I'll cross that bridge when I get to it" is already thinking further ahead than they actually are. It might be careless and immature, but sometimes it's fun to be careless and immature.
Is there a, "Who cares what may happen? I hate life anyway2000." mentality? If so, that's obviously rooted in depression.
Sure, that's possible too. Is depression what drove PSH to it? Who knows?
Sometimes it just has to do with overwhelming curiosity and a desire to get blitzed out of one's mind for the fun of it. I guess you never having done drugs that's really not something you're capable of understanding.
I really want to understand how someone can willingly elect to go down such a destructive path. There seems to be no logic in doing heroin for the first time.
Who said logic had anything to do with it? Everyone does things that aren't necessarily logical, including you I'm sure. -
Ironman54 — 12 years ago(February 10, 2014 09:06 PM)
In the not too distant past, the statistics for fatal car crashes in the US was 50,000 people are killed annually (not sure of current statistics). Often when driving a car, one aims 2,500 lbs of steel in one direction at speeds often 50+ mph toward oncoming vehicles - from sub compacts to 18 wheelers, all passing in the opposite direction separated only by a painted line on the road and only by a few feet Kinda risky wouldn't you say ? Yet millions play the odds and do this every day.
Ok, no one has to try heroin to get to work obviously but people can/will do the above but question the judgement/sanity of someone who tries a drug for the first time. I agree its not a smart move, no doubt a bout it but I bet you drive a car (or ride in some type of motor vehicle) yet question why another would do something like try a drug.
If everyone around you is doing xyz and apparently none the worse for it (sometimes the horrendous effects of drug abuse don't become apparent until weeks/months later), the uninitiated can be deluded into thinking 'I know what 'they' say but how bad can it really be ?'
No one can be sure of how a drug, be it alcohol, heroin, cocaine etc., is going to effect them until they do it. Many people are sure they have the will power to try it once and walk away. Some people can - but you're truly playing Russian Roulette thinking before hand that you too will be the one that can. Once you try it, you will forever know that there is an 'escape', a better version of 'well being' and that 'knowledge' is what can draw the person back - even after 20+ years of abstinence.
Anyone who knows anything about narcotics will tell you that the first time taking one is a very pleasurable experience. No human being should ever experience it if it can be at all avoided. Its too pleasurable. The first time I received an injection of Demerol (hospital ER) I clearly remember thinking 'Why were we not made to feel like this all the time ?" I should say, not everyone has a pleasurable experience the first time. Some people do say they find the experience to be anything but pleasurable (because of the nausea etc. - many variables) but they are, by far, the exception to the rule. Others are introduced to narcotics by prescription and they take the med. as prescribed then walk away from it when the 10 days are up and the meds are gone. Many though find that for the first time, they feel 'normal' (not depressed etc) and they are the ones who by and large become addicts. Brain chemistry has everything to do with it. Some people are simply predisposed - they have a 'deficit' and the deficit is corrected by the introduction of a narcotic (or alcohol etc) to their system. If you don't have a deficit/predisposition, you will more than likely be one of those who take the med/drug for no more than 10 days , within a certain range/dosage and walk away from it without a problem (or have 2/3 drinks and go home). You may predict that you will be one of the lucky ones but I guarantee you, there is no way to no for sure until you try it - and therein lies the rub.
As to WHY try it the first time (what was asked by the OP) ?
Too many variables but for many its that they have never felt comfortable in their own skin so to speak or have never felt that they experience 'joy' or well being as others seem to and the temptation to see if this drug can make them feel 'right' is just too overwhelming of a temptation. If people had no idea what 'euphoria' meant, they would probably never put a white powder up their nose let alone inject it into their body. What would be the 'enticement' ? Unless you're really drunk or desperate to feel normal/good for the first time in your life (or many years) you wouldn't do something so odd. The stuff is the devil incarnate.
*Of course its needed by those people in great pain but other than that the devil. -
suza271 — 12 years ago(February 19, 2014 01:54 PM)
There are some born with the disease of addictionsome not. My Mom thinks vicodin makes her sick and hates it. I, however, would down the whole bottle in my using days (or snort them). Many times addiction takes hold of you in a way you wouldn't believe. Educated, rational people who are highly successful when not in an altered state (or searching for drugs once they've experienced them), will do anything and everything to get their drug of choice.
I LITERALLY grew up in a middle to upper class family with a white picket fence, parents who were stable, sent me to college and BAM! I got my wisdom teeth removed and all the sudden I couldn't get enough pills. I was a great student, daughter, grew up learning the morals of society (never stole in my lifenever would unless drugs were invloved). I was the one my parents bragged aboutgetting out of Ohio, hired for the job I always strived for by the age of 25, seemingly having my life together. Except little did anyone know I was racking up thousands in credit card debt, lying to my friends and family, scraping to get by. I had NO knowledge of addiction (except for DARE which barely teaches you ANYTHING about the chemical responses of drugs in your brain, that addiction is genetic, and how harmful they can bethis program just basically hadfrom my recollectionpeople dancing around to pop music and I got a shirt). Finally, I started stealing (and please don't let movies fool youaddicts can be the smartest, highly functioning, & cunning peoplenot all are "junkies living on the street"). Hell, I got my meds online.
I finally had to call my parents at the age of 28 and come home to live because I couldn't pay my rent and was facing my 2nd felony conviction. And, I'm the girl who didn't smoke weed til I was 27, didn't drink til 18, and followed all the rules.
There's a HUGE heroin problem in the midwest. After 3 yrs of sobriety I switched to shooting coke! And, let me tell you, I met 18 yr old girls selling their bodies for crack (which has a huge stigma, but for you judgementals out therecrack is just cocaine cob68oked up with baking soda and baby food). Most people (and I believe this was the case with PSH) continued to use because they got to the point to where the withdrawls from heroin or any opiate were just too much. In the days before his death he was seen with a runny nose, sweating, & shaking. Typical wd symptomseven on suboxone (which was found in his apt). I personally think he was trying to kick the H but those physical and mental wds make you WANT to die.
So, please, think twice before you walk in someone elses shoes. You have no clue what he was struggling with. Almost all addicts have some form of mental illness. Withdrawls definitely cause depression. And, who knows what else he was struggling with. I grieve deeply for his family who had to witness his addictive behaviors. But, at the same time, we have to celebrate his intense, amazing work. -
Soodinum — 12 years ago(February 19, 2014 03:41 PM)
"the dis1c84ease of addiction"
There's enough rethinking of the idea of addiction being a disease that it is no longer valid to just state it as a given and base your argument on that.
Take some time to investigate it and you will find many specialists now not only doubt that addiction is a disease, but think that progress in dealing with addiction effectively is harmed by that label.
'Then' and 'than' are completely different words and have completely different meanings. -
sjmedrano — 11 years ago(April 19, 2014 04:08 PM)
That makes sense. I had friends that would do hard core drugs and I saw how it affected them and didn't want any part of tht. Pain pills never wanted of tht either plus I'm allergic to chalky pills. The only thing I will take is Ibuprofen. I'm glad I do have a fear of drugs and don't want to go down that role but I do understand why some people turn to drugs to deal with life and then it becomes a way frm not being sick due from the withdrawals. I've heard people doing heroin is like chasing the dragon looking for that first experience with the drug and you will never experience. Its horrible and it doesnt help when Doctors hand out these pills like candy. I just wish PHS could of beaten this.
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SweetLadyH — 11 years ago(July 22, 2014 05:46 PM)
Suza, thank you for sharing your story. Many people don't know what it's like to love with addiction and when you come from a "perfect" life it seems it's even more difficult for people to understand. I admire your strength to get clean and your courage to unashamedly tell your story.
Not sure if you'd be interested, but I would love to talk with you indepth as well as share my story with you. If that's something you'd be interested in, send me a PM on here. If not, I totally understand.
Thank you again for sharing. I hope you're life now is filled with happiness and fulfillment.
namaste -
Sonfollower — 12 years ago(February 19, 2014 05:08 PM)
Ironman54,
Man, you put down on paper everything I wanted to say and more, but sometimes it is hard to express myself! You must be a writer with your ability, to spell it out so clearly, you are amazing!
Thank you for posting, it made me cry, really! I have been on anti-depressants for so many years, I can't count,I know exactly what you are saying is so damned true! I heard someone say that Heroin addicts are always chasing that first feeling from the drug. Yes, and I know the feeling from Demerol in the ER. I always said, now I know why it is easy to become an addict, what a feeling!
I just want to thank you for posting and I love the way you ended itthe devil! You definitely explained and answered many questions for myself and others! Bless You! -
Sonfollower — 12 years ago(February 19, 2014 02:47 PM)
It's the same thing with Alcohol, take one drink..then another.Anything can be addictive, sugar? We all have our addictions in one way or another, I know what you are saying. Did you know that Cigarettes are harder to kick than Heroin! And look how many people die from Cigarettes, from one thing to the other. We are at a war against good and evil, everyday! We have to fight against the things of the flesh all the time. That is why we need to be educated about these things, and know what we are dealing with. Do we want to take a chance and stick a needle in our arm (and not even know for sure what is in the drug)or smoke, drink for years.and thenLet's face it, the flesh is weak, very weak!!!
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SweetLadyH — 11 years ago(July 22, 2014 05:54 PM)
I'm sure you've gotten more than enough answers regarding your question, so I'll attempt to be brief.
As a former drug addict I can vouch for many things people have said here: sometimes it's to escape life (and although his life seems like there would be nothing to want to escape from, you never know the demons inside someone's head Sometimes the happiest people are the saddest inside), sometimes it's an opportunity handed to you at a party (peer pressure at any age is hard, especially when you're already under the influence of other substances), sometimes you're just looking for the next fix because your current drug isn't doing it for you anymore.
At any rate, I can tell you that no matter how bad something is for you, people still do it - alcohol, tobacco, unprotected sex, fast food. It doesn't matter, living in an age of instant gratification and the idea that the future isn't your concern at the moment leads many of us to make choices that we shouldn't.
Finally in specific regards to heroin: (and I'm not sure if I can say this on here so I hope I don't get flagged) imagine the best orgasm you have ever had in your entire life, now imagine that times 10. That's just the tip of the iceberg of how heroin makes you feel. That's pretty tempting no matter how bad for you it is.
Sorry for my long, rambling post. I hope you never have to experience the horrors of drug use - contrary to what many have said, it does not equate to "life experience" and certainly doesn't make you a better person because you've done things. Be who you are, be proud of it, and always find ways to improve upon yourself to make your life more fulfilling.
Namaste. -
jacc1515 — 11 years ago(July 23, 2014 10:13 AM)
As someone had mentioned before, the first time you do heroin, you feel this perfect, beautiful euphoria. Something you have never felt before. I would like to compare it to falling in love with someone, but it is different. No matter what horrible thing(s) might be going on in your life, it doesn't matter. The high from heroin makes everything feel and seem perfect, wondeful and beautiful.
You feel like a god.
Invincible.
And you don't get addicted right away. You can go for a while before having to take some more. Days, weeks, months maybe even years. You think to yourself "WTF are all these people bad mouthing heroin for? It made me feel unreal happy and I don't crave it at all and it didn't cause me to lose my job, home, friends or freedom. It didn't turn me into some bum-junkie I see downtown begging for my loose change"
Then you take your 2nd hitthen your thirdthen fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, etc.
Now each time you take it, the high is getting weaker and weaker. You have to take more and more to achieve the same high you were getting in the past. That means more and more $$.
And now you can't go weeks or days inbetween hits. It gets where you are doing heroin non-stop, all the time. And if you do stop taking heroin suddenly these lovely things called "withdrawals" come into your life
Non-stop vomiting, diarhea, urinating, body aches, body twitching, can't sleep, irritable. You think and feel like you are dying.
And those are just the physical symptoms. The mental symptoms are far worse. You think about heroin more than a 14 year-old boy thinks about sex and THAT IS A LOT!
You can try to take over-the-counter medicines to treat the symptoms, but they don't really work. If you are lucky you can procure7ec some xanax or ativan(benzodiazepines) to help, but those are also narcotics and cost a lot of $ and are addictive in their own right. Plus if you withdraw from benzos you can die from seizures.
At this point you care more about getting more heroin than anything else in your life. It has become more important than anything. Even food. If given the choice of starving and getting more dope or spending $ on food. You will choose starving each and everytime.
Everyone thinks they will be the one that doesn't get addicted and will be strong and beat it, but I have yet to meet anyone who has actually done this (myself included- even though I was addicted to pain pills like opana and oxycontin and not heroin though they are both the same thing except heroin is much cheaper)
Sounds glamarous right? My advice is stay away from it. If you have to get high then stick to weed and maybe exctasy. Don't even take weaker opiates like vicodin or lortabs.
The beep has got to go. Go! The beep gots to go! -James Franco -
Danasaur24 — 11 years ago(August 18, 2014 09:18 AM)
A lot of people become addicted to heroin by beginning with recreationally taking painkillers (Oxycontin, Loratabs, etc). Painkillers are a form of synthetic heroin and I guess because they're pills, some people don't think it's wrong to take them for fun. Well overtime, those pills become expensive, like $20 a pill. So they find someone with bags of heroin much cheaper and to save money, they start using that. Sometimes though, the painkillers have been prescribed by a doctor whether it be because of a car accident or whatever.
I suggest we learn to love ourselves before it's made illegal. -
franzkabuki — 11 years ago(August 20, 2014 11:58 PM)
For one thing, it does tend to have this dangerous air to it that's kinda seductive to many who might want to try and dance with the devil just once. And there are always moments of weakness, when the curiosity and the promise of a great high might get the better of you.
"facts are stupid things" - Ronald Reagan -
Danimal_77 — 11 years ago(September 18, 2014 01:30 AM)
Only if you're the type of personality that is susceptible to it. The majority of people have absolutely no interest in doing drugs. It's just not appealing in any shape or form. It just lends to no form of curiosity whatsoever.