Great lines from the film
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Archived from the IMDb Discussion Forums — Grumpy Old Men
surferdude1851 — 21 years ago(March 25, 2005 09:48 AM)
(John tells Grandpa about his new neighbor, a woman)
Grandpa: A woman? Did you mount her?
John: (disgusted) Oh, Dad!
Grandpa: Wait, wait a minute. Has she got big thighs?
John: (thinking) No.
Grandpa: NO?! Then what's the problem? If I was a young fellow like you,
I'd be mounting every woman in Wabasha. -
surferdude1851 — 21 years ago(March 25, 2005 09:57 AM)
(Grandpa drops by Punky's mechandise stand while ice fishing)
Grandpa: Two packs of Camels and a cup of your special coffee, you love muffin.
John: Dad, you're suppsoed to be smoking filtered cigarettes.
Grandpa: I'm 94 years old. What the hell do I care? -
surferdude1851 — 21 years ago(March 25, 2005 10:18 AM)
(Max is complaining to the pharmacist about his lumbago)
Max: My lumbago is killing me.
John: Killing you, my ass. He doesn't know the meaning of the word pain. I've got a pinched sciatica that makes your lumbago look like eyestrain.
Max: Painhe wants to talk about pain? I had a gallstone the size of a baseball.
John: Gallstone? Yeah, gallstones are for pussies. When I had shingles, did you see me in here complaining, huh?
Max: Shingles, shmingles. When I had my ulcers, I wasfarting razor blades. -
benedetti — 21 years ago(March 29, 2005 02:17 AM)
I'm trying to remember the line that goes something like "when you look back on your life, what you regret the most are the risks you didn't take". I suppose I could just rent the movie, but I thought I'd try this shortcut first.
PJ -
TheEarman — 20 years ago(April 18, 2005 10:01 AM)
I could sit and watch the Burgess Meredith outtakes before the closing credits for hours! "Oh. . . looks like Charlie's taking the ol' log to the beaver!"
"Oh. . . looks like Charlie's taking the skin boat to TUNA TOWN!!"
"Oh. . . looks like Charlie's a tom cat, on the PROWL. Meee-owwwwwwwwww!"
I was wiping tears from my eyes from laughing when I left the theater. The outtakes on Grumpier Old Men are good too. "I've been to Hawaii too. I thinky-wanna-poke-ya! Come-on-I-wanna-lay-ya! Ya-wanna-peek-o-peepee?" God bless Burgess Meredith! -
surferdude1851 — 20 years ago(April 21, 2005 10:38 AM)
(John knocks on the door of Grandpa's ice shanty. Grandpa opens the door.)
Grandpa: Hey! Just finishing breakfast. (sips whiskey from canteen)
I'll roll you up like a Philly blunt and smoke your bitch ass! -
surferdude1851 — 20 years ago(April 21, 2005 11:06 AM)
(IRS Agent Snyder is repossessing John's house and property)
Max: Gustafson's straight as a grizzly's dick. He'd never cheat on his taxes. Never!
I'll roll you up like a Philly blunt and smoke your bitch ass! -
jwilley71447 — 20 years ago(May 07, 2005 11:24 AM)
Aerial's waiting on the steps inviting john upstairs to bed.
John: Theses days they say you have to practace safe sex
Aerial: John, when was the last time you made love?
John: Ahhhhummmm., (some date) 1978.
Aerial: I think you're safe.
(Not)Louder Than Concorde -
jwilley71447 — 20 years ago(May 07, 2005 11:40 AM)
oh yea, and since i'm watching it right now (fox movie saturday) and i had forgotten how much this line cracked me up when I saw it in the theater.
Max to John while they're standing in the snow and Max is with Aerial:
"Hey Gufstafson, your cat just crapped on my porch for the ninth time
John: Who says you can't train a cat..
That's like an old Cosby line from his one man show years ago.
something along the lines on dogs and cats as pets.."Dog's love you unconditionally. Cats may let you pet 'em, but they ain't gonna give you nothing for it."
(like ex-wives.or probably, ex-husbands, too)
(Not)Louder Than Concorde -
ctmoney — 20 years ago(June 30, 2005 08:40 PM)
Almost every single time Grandpa Gustafson talked I had to wipe tears from my eyes because I was laughing so hard. My fav line he said was "He's taking the one eyed monster to the optometrist." The outtakes on that scene were BRILLIANT!!!
"Try not! Do, or do not There is no try." Yoda -
Princerd — 14 years ago(December 27, 2011 05:29 AM)
John: All I know is you always regret the risks you didn't take.
Ariel had told John that when he pretended he was no longer interested in her. He repeated it to Melanie while discussing her bad marriage and being afraid to leave her husband.