Great lines from the film
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surferdude1851 — 20 years ago(April 21, 2005 11:06 AM)
(IRS Agent Snyder is repossessing John's house and property)
Max: Gustafson's straight as a grizzly's dick. He'd never cheat on his taxes. Never!
I'll roll you up like a Philly blunt and smoke your bitch ass! -
jwilley71447 — 20 years ago(May 07, 2005 11:24 AM)
Aerial's waiting on the steps inviting john upstairs to bed.
John: Theses days they say you have to practace safe sex
Aerial: John, when was the last time you made love?
John: Ahhhhummmm., (some date) 1978.
Aerial: I think you're safe.
(Not)Louder Than Concorde -
jwilley71447 — 20 years ago(May 07, 2005 11:40 AM)
oh yea, and since i'm watching it right now (fox movie saturday) and i had forgotten how much this line cracked me up when I saw it in the theater.
Max to John while they're standing in the snow and Max is with Aerial:
"Hey Gufstafson, your cat just crapped on my porch for the ninth time
John: Who says you can't train a cat..
That's like an old Cosby line from his one man show years ago.
something along the lines on dogs and cats as pets.."Dog's love you unconditionally. Cats may let you pet 'em, but they ain't gonna give you nothing for it."
(like ex-wives.or probably, ex-husbands, too)
(Not)Louder Than Concorde -
ctmoney — 20 years ago(June 30, 2005 08:40 PM)
Almost every single time Grandpa Gustafson talked I had to wipe tears from my eyes because I was laughing so hard. My fav line he said was "He's taking the one eyed monster to the optometrist." The outtakes on that scene were BRILLIANT!!!
"Try not! Do, or do not There is no try." Yoda -
Princerd — 14 years ago(December 27, 2011 05:29 AM)
John: All I know is you always regret the risks you didn't take.
Ariel had told John that when he pretended he was no longer interested in her. He repeated it to Melanie while discussing her bad marriage and being afraid to leave her husband. -
chcruz-1 — 20 years ago(February 15, 2006 12:28 AM)
John Gustafson: Hey, did you hear about Eddie Hicks?
Max Goldman: Hypothermia's a bitch-not quick like a stroke.
John Gustafson: A stroke is no damn good! You could end up like a vegetable. Gimme a cardiac any day.
Max Goldman (to Snyder): Mr. John Gustafson? You mean the, ah, low-life, ass wipe, egg sucker, John Gustafson? The man's crazy, loco, always hanging around those kinky strip bars. You know, the ones where the men take their clothes off. That's course, if he's taken his medication.
Snyder: Medication?
Max Goldman: Yes. Without it, he could be anywhere, wanderin' around, talkin' to the trees. I'm tellin' ya, this man is a menace! He's always drinkin', startin' fights. Isn't that right?
Grandpa Gustafson: Hey! Drop that fish!
Max Goldman: Mr Gustafson.
Grandpa Gustafson: Don't make me have to separate you two again, dammit! Now go to your shanties, all of ya-you're scarin' the fish away. Damn kids! Kids! Can't live with 'um, can't shoot 'um.
Max Goldman: "Mind your business, will ya", "Mind your own business". Why don't you tie your shoelace. You'll fall on your stupid head! We're havin' a heatwave, here. (Sings)We're havin' a heatwave, a tropical heatwave.
Max Goldman: Dirty rat! I'll show him! Pickin' on people!
Max Goldman: Schmuck doesn't know what's happening.
Jacob: You're a child.
Max: Don't tell me, Jacob. It isn't me.
Jacob: Oh, it never is. No, I'm sure John started every fight since 1940.
Max: '38.
Jacob: It's ridiculous.
John: Wait a minute, you mean, you and she-?
Chuck: I am not talkin' about sex, you dummies!
John: No?
Chuck: 'Course not.
Max: Tell me something, Chuck. Do I stink?
John: Yeah!
Max: Not you, smartass, didn't ask you!
The Burgess Meredith aftertakes.
Max (this a blooper from the aftertakes): Don't shout at me!
John: I'm not shouting!
Max: Bust my tukus to get down here on New Year's Eveor, Christmas, or whatever the @%&# it is!" -
choochoo2112 — 20 years ago(November 29, 2005 07:01 PM)
The expressions on Matthau's face when he first smells the fish in the car's back seat are priceless.
(smelling himself)
Peee-uuu, what the hell is that smell??!!
Sometimes things are right there, you just don't know it right away