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Great lines from the film

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  • F Offline
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    fgadmin
    wrote last edited by
    #6

    TheEarman — 20 years ago(April 18, 2005 10:01 AM)

    I could sit and watch the Burgess Meredith outtakes before the closing credits for hours! "Oh. . . looks like Charlie's taking the ol' log to the beaver!"
    "Oh. . . looks like Charlie's taking the skin boat to TUNA TOWN!!"
    "Oh. . . looks like Charlie's a tom cat, on the PROWL. Meee-owwwwwwwwww!"
    I was wiping tears from my eyes from laughing when I left the theater. The outtakes on Grumpier Old Men are good too. "I've been to Hawaii too. I thinky-wanna-poke-ya! Come-on-I-wanna-lay-ya! Ya-wanna-peek-o-peepee?" God bless Burgess Meredith!

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      surferdude1851 — 20 years ago(April 21, 2005 10:38 AM)

      (John knocks on the door of Grandpa's ice shanty. Grandpa opens the door.)
      Grandpa: Hey! Just finishing breakfast. (sips whiskey from canteen)
      I'll roll you up like a Philly blunt and smoke your bitch ass!

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        #8

        surferdude1851 — 20 years ago(April 21, 2005 11:00 AM)

        Grandpa: (refering to the weather) Colder than a witch's titty out there, isn't it?
        I'll roll you up like a Philly blunt and smoke your bitch ass!

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          wrote last edited by
          #9

          surferdude1851 — 20 years ago(April 21, 2005 11:03 AM)

          (John asks Grandpa for advice on his relationship with Ariel.)
          Grandpa: Mount the woman, son.
          I'll roll you up like a Philly blunt and smoke your bitch ass!

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            #10

            surferdude1851 — 20 years ago(April 21, 2005 11:06 AM)

            (IRS Agent Snyder is repossessing John's house and property)
            Max: Gustafson's straight as a grizzly's dick. He'd never cheat on his taxes. Never!
            I'll roll you up like a Philly blunt and smoke your bitch ass!

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              #11

              jwilley71447 — 20 years ago(May 07, 2005 11:24 AM)

              Aerial's waiting on the steps inviting john upstairs to bed.
              John: Theses days they say you have to practace safe sex
              Aerial: John, when was the last time you made love?
              John: Ahhhhummmm., (some date) 1978.
              Aerial: I think you're safe.
              (Not)Louder Than Concorde

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                #12

                jwilley71447 — 20 years ago(May 07, 2005 11:40 AM)

                oh yea, and since i'm watching it right now (fox movie saturday) and i had forgotten how much this line cracked me up when I saw it in the theater.
                Max to John while they're standing in the snow and Max is with Aerial:
                "Hey Gufstafson, your cat just crapped on my porch for the ninth time
                John: Who says you can't train a cat..
                That's like an old Cosby line from his one man show years ago.
                something along the lines on dogs and cats as pets.."Dog's love you unconditionally. Cats may let you pet 'em, but they ain't gonna give you nothing for it."
                (like ex-wives.or probably, ex-husbands, too)
                (Not)Louder Than Concorde

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                  autopro50 — 18 years ago(June 28, 2007 08:08 PM)

                  I think we're supposed to practice "safe sex" now.
                  When was the last time you made love?
                  October4th.1978.
                  I think we're safe.

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                    #14

                    jwwaatti — 12 years ago(March 20, 2014 03:04 PM)

                    My dad says this all the time!

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                      wrote last edited by
                      #15

                      ctmoney — 20 years ago(June 30, 2005 08:40 PM)

                      Almost every single time Grandpa Gustafson talked I had to wipe tears from my eyes because I was laughing so hard. My fav line he said was "He's taking the one eyed monster to the optometrist." The outtakes on that scene were BRILLIANT!!!
                      "Try not! Do, or do not There is no try." Yoda

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                        #16

                        jarth-2 — 15 years ago(September 07, 2010 05:15 PM)

                        "I've been to Hawaii too. I thinky-wanna-poke-ya!
                        He NEVER said that, genius. He said, "I-kinda-like-a-poke-ya."

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                          #17

                          Princerd — 14 years ago(December 27, 2011 05:29 AM)

                          John: All I know is you always regret the risks you didn't take.
                          Ariel had told John that when he pretended he was no longer interested in her. He repeated it to Melanie while discussing her bad marriage and being afraid to leave her husband.

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                            #18

                            palehorse864 — 20 years ago(May 08, 2005 11:41 AM)

                            One of hte best set of lines in the film.
                            What?
                            What?
                            .
                            What?

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                              #19

                              leatherclan — 20 years ago(May 26, 2005 12:09 PM)

                              do the world a favourpull your lip over your head and swallow

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                                #20

                                Tekawitha — 19 years ago(August 05, 2006 12:29 PM)

                                .oh, this one is a family buzzword for us! we love it!
                                ~~
                                ~
                                ~
                                "Ooh!Pass the popcorn! This is gonna be good!"

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                                  #21

                                  IMDb User

                                  This message has been deleted.

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                                    #22

                                    IMDb User

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                                      #23

                                      shocker-9 — 20 years ago(August 06, 2005 12:00 AM)

                                      I always thought Walter Matthau's first line in the movie was funny.
                                      John (Jack Lemmon) ends up on Max's (Matthau's) doorstep, and Max opens the door and says bluntly, "G'morning d!ckhead!"

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                                        bmovies — 20 years ago(September 09, 2005 01:30 PM)

                                        Walter Matthau in a deleted scene (sitting in a bathtub) that appear after the end credits:
                                        "If I knew there was going to be a nude scene in this film, I would've asked for another million."

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                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #25

                                          scotty-38 — 20 years ago(October 15, 2005 10:14 AM)

                                          Melanie: Come on Dad. You're a handsome eligable guy. You've got a lot to offer.
                                          Grandpa: Well I got somethin to offer her! Bow wow yow!
                                          hehe i like that one

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