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  3. 1000 Things I Learned…

1000 Things I Learned…

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    #29

    kitsune2222 — 14 years ago(May 04, 2011 04:21 PM)

    1. Dont stare into bright light, or you will develop "varicose veins"
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      Marty0110 — 14 years ago(May 06, 2011 06:59 AM)

      1. A long, romantic, sensual kiss is possible when being sucked by giant alien ship although others are somersaulting uncontrollably toward its centre at the speed of sound.
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        kaliphornia_dreemin — 14 years ago(May 07, 2011 08:43 AM)

        1. Apparently, some aliens look like man-eating vaginas.
        2. Aliens don't appreciate the value of fast, expensive cars.
        3. Aliens are color blind. Red brain? Eh, it's still a brain, I guess.
        4. Eric Balfour isn't any better looking as an alien.
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          #32

          morph85 — 14 years ago(May 07, 2011 05:39 PM)

          1. If you wake up in the middle of the night and you see an inexplicably bright blue light you'll think it's morning.
          2. If aliens try to hypnotize you and you manage to escape twice, you'll get superhuman strength as a bonus.
          3. After an alien mother-ship kidnaps some hundred thousand (or few million) people it will take its time and go out of its way to suck out a couple more.
          4. Space traveling aliens don't have any fire power whatsoever, only a blue bright light and muscle force.
          5. The only guy with survival instincts will finally decide to commit suicide if the hot blonde next to him will die.
          6. If you decide to blow yourself up using the gas in the kitchen be sure to have a cigarette in your mouth for dramatic effect.
          7. If aliens take over your town and you're stupid enough to try and make a run for it, be sure that you'll meet other idiots like you who thought to do the same thing.
          8. If the father of your unborn baby is not ready to start a family yet be sure to follow him in his suicide mission even if you think it's a stupid idea.
          9. LA hotshots will always ride in an alien invaded city in style.
          10. If aliens take over a huge city and kidnap everybody in sight be sure you can outsmart them by driving your way to the harbor in a convoy.
          11. If hiding can save your life, make a run for it!
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            #33

            bagpipr64 — 14 years ago(May 07, 2011 05:59 PM)

            1. If you want to see something that's right outside the window, use a telescope that's designed to study the cosmos.
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              #34

              aoc777 — 14 years ago(September 11, 2011 09:05 AM)

              1. Even a movie like this gem is hard pressed to deliver 1000 Things to learn
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                #35

                Dismissed — 14 years ago(May 12, 2011 09:23 AM)

                Apparently, some aliens look like man-eating vaginas.
                Lol lol
                Wow, that was beep gold!
                This was just my take on things, and I like to take it all.

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                  #36

                  NovocastrianUK — 14 years ago(May 14, 2011 02:47 PM)

                  You can easily fool an Alien by pretending to light your cigarette when actually you are causing a huge gas explosion eventually.
                  When running from peril, hold hands, you'll be able to run much quicker.

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                    #37

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                      wrote last edited by
                      #38

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                        #39

                        Dismissed — 14 years ago(May 30, 2011 05:34 AM)

                        No You lighten up.. Even the best movies have their "What the beep and "No way in hell" moments. We're just having fun with the "You dumbass"-ness of this one. 😃
                        I'm rather indifferent in my feeling towards the film. It was a decent way to waste an afternoon. But, I have no interest in seeing it again.

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                          #40

                          lovedawn — 14 years ago(January 20, 2012 02:00 AM)

                          RE #59 - the telescope in the apartment was connected to the TV, that's where the footage came from.
                          SPAZZTIC BLURR!!!

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                            ollyoxenfree1997 — 11 years ago(July 20, 2014 08:04 PM)

                            Did I really need the movie to tell me #64? 😛

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                              ted2112 — 14 years ago(May 25, 2011 05:19 PM)

                              #99. Apparently there IS such a thing as aliens, but there's NO such thing as a black woman.

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                                mic7440 — 14 years ago(May 29, 2011 02:56 AM)

                                Actually, there was no black woman stupid enough to be part of this moviehaha!!

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                                  greyspider — 14 years ago(June 06, 2011 01:35 PM)

                                  1. when you try to do something dirty with your sexy assistant, make sure that you do it in the tiniest toilet in the house, despite you have an entire penthouse, and make sure that you let her photo it with a giant SLR camera just in case you still think there is too much room inside and operating it is not heavy at all.
                                  2. during alien invasion, make sure that you offer others for help after they have loaded everything (just two suitcases) inside their car, it makes you a better human being
                                  3. during alien invasion, after you have loaded your suitcases inside your car, you stay there with all the car doors open till the others come back, and scream with them for the effect
                                  4. apparently, the human beings inside the giant alien mothership not only can survive a nuclear attack, but still alive and screamingwith their brains intact
                                  5. if you see a fighter crashing towards you at 400mph, stay exactly where you are, and you know it will somehow flip over and hit the alien behind you, killing it and splash only half a dozen debris around you, you wont even notice anything
                                  6. no matter which direction you run, there will ALWAYS an alien waiting for you, but when you look in the telescope, there is only a handful running around in the city streets
                                  7. and remind the guy that is opening the door, to open the door
                                  8. and after you run in slow motion in a giant circle, make sure you go back to exactly where you started
                                  9. make sure that the men do all the watching and stay up all night, let the women sleep, they surely dont know how to keep a safety watch
                                  10. the white light can only suck you in if you face it
                                  11. it is very easy to unplug a washing machine in a fully fitted kitchen without any tools and within a few seconds
                                  12. aliens just have to get the 2 main characters' brain, the entire LA population is not enough and they even send the mothership to suck up these two
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                                    rickb69 — 10 years ago(July 07, 2015 10:21 AM)

                                    1. aliens just have to get the 2 main characters' brain, the entire LA population is not enough and they even send the mothership to suck up these two
                                      Not enough brains in the entire LA population (O.J. Simpson, Rodney King incident and Raiders to name a few.)
                                      I have 2 sets of twin boys, Pete & Repete and Mark & Remarkable
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                                      #46

                                      sydnee_man — 14 years ago(October 05, 2011 10:05 PM)

                                      lol! I guess I'm not the only one who noticed that
                                      Follow me on twitter @sydsmoviepicks

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                                          #48

                                          Jimothy3 — 14 years ago(June 11, 2011 02:59 AM)

                                          1. Fighter jets can shoot straight at you and not hit you, instead hitting what's behind you, for example a big alien monster.
                                          2. Newsreaders are most in danger during alien invasions.
                                          3. It can take up 2 days for aliens to finally pluck up the courage to properly inspect buildings that they've been circling in all that time.
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